Gerard's POV

"Oh fuck." I groaned out in pleasure as my body lost control of itself. Just what I needed.

English felt like a continuous slap in the face. I couldn't go back in there, I can't stand to see his face, fuck, I couldn't even be in the same building as him. Frank would never understand what I was going through or why I did what I did. Yeah, he's helped me out a lot, but this is different. Things are about to change forever and I can't fucking stop it. I just want to freeze time and live here forever. Then I'd be good, but that's impossible so I'm not okay and I never fucking will be.

There was a light tap on my passenger window. Ri. I cleaned up my shit and hid it. I'm sure Frank already told her what had happened, but she didn't need to see it for herself. I unlocked my door and she jumped in. She turned towards me with eyes that seemed like they held the sadness of every living being on this earth.

"Gerard...why?" I could tell she was holding back the streams of tears that hid behind her eyes. I opened my mouth to explain myself but no words were said. I could feel pieces of my heart falling into the pit of my stomach, it was the worst pain I had ever felt and it was making my stomach turn. I laid my head on my steering wheel in hopes the knots in my abdomen would unravel themselves, but of course they didn't.

"I...I needed something to save me from myself. You guys would've just told me nothing was gonna change and we'd still keep in touch. But it's more than that. Do you know what it's like to see the same fucking people everyday of your life and then at the drop a fucking dime they're gone?" I yelled into the Volkswagen emblem staring back at me. I could hear her sobs become uncontrollable as I brought my head back up. "You don't, none of you do. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but you're not me. Your father didn't hate you or harass the love of your life, your mother isn't an alcoholic, your fucking parents are still together...I mean fuck Riley do I need to keep going? You guys have everything going for you. I don't have shit but myself. I didn't apply for college, I don't have a fucking job, and my best friend hates my fucking existence."

After "existence" fell off the tip of my tongue, I lost it. I tried to hide the tears falling from my face, but Ri was quick to notice as she pulled me towards her and held me. Then there was no stopping it. I cried into her shoulder for what seemed like forever. She ran her fingers through my hair and tucked it behind my ears. "Gerard, you need to stop this. Please.", she said in a soft whisper. I noticed I immediately stopped crying and sat up.

"I can't, Ri.", my voice sounded as cold as ice, "Why would I stop the one thing that makes me feel at ease again?" The vibe swiftly changed from sympathetic to infuriated.

"Because you're doing nothing but fucking hurting yourself and everyone around you, Gerard! That's fucking why! God are you really that selfish? Frank was right, you are a fucking idiot.", she said as she slammed my door. I threw my head against my wheel and screamed in frustration. Her words felt like a jagged edge dagger that went straight through my chest and as she cried, it just twisted itself deeper into me. She sounded just like Frank and it killed me.

***time lapse***

I yawned as I opened my eyes, shocked to realize I was still in my car, much less still in the school parking lot. I must've fallen asleep after my last hit, I was surprised that the security guard hadn't bothered me at all. It was three o'clock in the morning and I was starving. I started my car and drove to the nearest Waffle House. I sat down at the table farthest from everyone, studying them as I drank my coffee.

"What can I get you sir?", the waitress asked. I ordered my usual vegan waffle and sausage combo with a side of hash browns. After she left, I stared down into my mug and twirled my stirrer in my coffee to make a picture.

"Wow, you're really talented."

I shot my head up to see who was admiring my sloppy work. It was a dark haired woman, not any older than twenty five, with a familiar face but I couldn't pinpoint it. "This? It's nothing. Just a product of boredom." She raised her eyebrow as she pointed to the seat across from me, I figured she wanted to sit down so I nodded in response to her gesture.

"Well anyone who can successfully draw a portrait of Batman in the bubbles of their coffee is more than talented, they're a genius.", she said as she giggled, "I'm sorry, I'm Rosaline." She stuck her hand out and I joined her in a short lived handshake.

"Do you normally come to Waffle House and join random people's tables?", I said slyly with my signature smirk. She started blushing and shook her head. I was never into older women, but she was stunning.

"You stood out to me for some reason. You looked like you needed someone to talk to." She placed her hand on top of mine. I lifted my head to her level, she had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, but by just looking in them you could tell she had some stories to tell about her life. Any simple minded person would say she was happy, but as I studied her face, I could see the hurt she had been through and she was living in the recovery of it.

"Why thank you, but you should be more careful. I could've been a serial killer stalking his next victim." She was starting to make a witty comment, but the waitress had ruined the moment bringing out my food and Rosaline another pitcher of coffee. She giggled to herself as she poured her fifth cup since she had sat down. "You really like coffee, huh?" I felt a small smile creep upon my face when she told me it was like her new addiction. Why was I so comfortable with this stranger?

Five o'clock crept around on us, we had gone through four pitchers of coffee and were half way through our fifth. "You know, you're a very interesting person, Mr. Way. There aren't many people who prefer Dungeons and Dragons over Magic, despite the fact that they're two totally different games.", she laughed and looked at the time, "Oh god, I have to go or I'll be late for work." She got up in a rush and I grabbed her hand.

"Thank you Rosaline. I really needed that." She looked at me with hope filled eyes and gave me a hug. I walked her out to her car because it was still a little dark outside, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and in a flash she was gone. I leaned against my car as I smoked my life away thinking over the night I just had.

Who was this women and why did I feel like I knew her already?