Bad News From The Zones, Tumbleweeds

Original Characters POV

They walk inside leaving me alone with Jet and Kid. As they both spoke I could feel Kid’s eyes on me, I’m a fraud and he knows it’s my fault he’s dead. I spent part of the day talking to Jet in the car, begging him to ask Kid to forgive me, to explain my change of heart to him. But Jet was confused saying he didn’t know what I was talking about. I was going to tell them everything.

OC I don’t think I meant to stop taking the tablets when I did. Maybe I did, I don’t think so. Korse told me over and again not to underestimate the Killjoys; find them, kill them, by any means possible. Why me? I was colder than any Exterminator, faster, deadlier, and more vicious. The tablets don’t take all emotion, just the happy parts. Korse has anger he clings to, that’s how he functions. I didn’t have that. I was dead inside. Korse had killed me and turned me into a cold killer. Jet, you resurrected me. You gave me life, taught me love and belonging. In my joy and happiness, I let you both die. Kid you suspected I wasn’t what I said I was and you were right. But you have to know that by then I was already falling in love with Jet and I decided you weren’t going to die by my hand. I promised Jet I’d protect you three and I failed in protecting you. I am sorry. More than you will ever know. I will make this right. I have decided I’m going to tell your brothers what happened and the truth about me and then I’m going back to Battery City and kill Korse. But before I do, I’m going to blow up the tablet factories. I will keep your brothers safe.

The story I told in the car was true. When the Ritalin Rats had me they were going to sell me back to Korse, I bolted and ran but the Dracs found me. I was locked in a room with no windows, no furniture and no light. I was kept there for ages. Sometimes they brought food and water but in the beginning I didn't eat. Then I was to weak to eat, they played a recording over and over. It was Korse saying I belonged to him, I was going to be the best Exterminator ever, cold and meticulous, I was born to be a killer. When I was taken from the room I was moved to Korse's place, it was another locked room. He fed me three times a day; I wasn’t strapped down to the bed but I could hardly move. He – he was nice to me. He spoke softly and always complimenting me saying I was going to be his greatest creation, he couldn’t wait to teach me, he’d be my family. I never fully believed him but by then I couldn’t fight against it anymore. Once I had my strength back, training began. Hours and hours each day of hand to hand combat, BLI policy and procedure; I could recite the books verbatim. At night, Korse would sit on my bed and tell me his dream of cleansing the world, destroying all contraband, and bringing order. He really hates you guys, the few encounters he’s had with you really fuel his hatred. I don’t know why exactly but when it comes to you four, he is absolutely crazed. He said by removing the broken and unruly we’d be the saviors of the world. Together, he always said we’d be together – like I no longer was me, I was a we with him. He controlled my every move in the city. He always scheduled my days, packed them so full that I never had a moment to question him or anything. Everyone at BLI views me as his puppet, maybe I was. But I’m not now. He was the first person I saw when I woke up and the last before going to sleep. I had freedom within his parameters. Only a few knew that I was Cleric, oh everyone knew the name and was afraid of me. But few knew it was Cleric passing them in the halls. Even then they shied away from me, barely speaking to me out of fear of Korse; they assumed I was his play toy. While he was too free with hugs and always seemed to find a reason to have his hand on me; my shoulder, my arm, my waist he ne-never pushed it beyond that. But I knew he wanted to. I could see it in his eyes and it scared me.

I had a talent for weapons. Korse practically beamed when I took out all my targets on the range, it was my first time holding a gun. I had been trained on the how to’s and details for each one. Every weapon I touched, I knew instantly how to operate, how best to aim, how to destroy. I became the youngest and first girl in the S.C.A.R.E.C.R.O.W. program. To my knowledge no other girl has been tapped and no one younger then I was at the time.

When you guys came on the scene, I was Korse’s go to killer. He insisted I take every dangerous mission and target; I would’ve thought he was sending me out to die but each time I returned he was prouder. And more possessive; he was obsessed with you guys. Well is- he is obsessed with you guys. So many nights I’d wander into my room and collapse on my bed exhausted from the day and he’d come in babbling about Killjoys, troublesome teenagers, delinquents up to no good causing trouble. He said you were the evil in this world, everything that was wrong you represented. I fell asleep nightly to it. I finally asked him to give me leave to go out to the zones to find you. Hunt you, I think were my words. I’ve killed so many people; I don’t even know the number. From the night my parents died till I woke up in your arms Jet, I was numb. Half a person, hearing functioning and speaking but not living; not alive; I’ve killed friends of yours and I’ve killed Dracs. Some just because they pissed me off, some for being stupid; I killed your friend. The one who told me about your supply shack; I was crazed. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to give you up. He was loyal but when someone starts cutting body parts off, well loyalty goes out the window. By then the tablets were leaving my system and I wasn’t myself; hell I was never myself. I’m not sure who myself is anymore or whatever. The point is I’ve done really bad things, evil things. And Korse was the beginning of all that, he is the one that pushed me to you. And I love you so much. I want so badly to erase today and start over. My stupidity, naiveté, my eagerness to join your family and leave everything behind caused me to let my guard down and now you and Kid are dead. I won’t let it happen again. I can’t be Star Child, happy girlfriend/lover of Jet Star. And because of my promise to you I can’t be Cleric, evil ruthless killer of Killjoys. I don’t want to be Cleric anymore. I want to be Star Child. But I’m stuck in between Jet and I don’t know what to do. I want to kill Korse and I think I can strike a blow for your cause at the same time but that means leaving Poison and Ghoul. How do I protect them and leave them too? I have to tell all this to them and maybe I’m stalling. I’ve caused them so much pain today, how do I destroy them completely? I can’t. I think I’m rambling now guys. Am I making any sense? When they hear what happened they are going to know it was my fault. If they don’t kill me, I’ll go back to Battery City and end this one way or another.

I can spend the rest of my life apologizing to you both. I can spend the rest of my life wishing you were here. I know I’ll spend the rest of my life missing you Jet and my heart is broken. I love you. I’m so sorry. Kid was right; you should have never met me. You’d be alive and safe. Safe from me.

I spoke to Kid and Jet till I couldn’t talk anymore. It’s been dark for some time now. I’m going inside to talk to Poison and Ghoul. I’m going to tell them everything and then I’ll leave. They are on the couch cuddled together when I walk in. Poison sits up straighter expecting me to start talking. Ghoul looks at me with – pity? Is that what that emotion is? Sadness? I’m not sure.

OC We got to the building way ahead of you guys. We’d been laughing and joking in the car and then I took a nap. When Kid woke me up, we were there. Both of them said something was off and I made fun of them for it. Kid led the way in, with Jet behind him and me last. The Dracs were waiting inside; they shot Kid before I was in the door. Jet yelled to duck for cover. We killed them. Kid told Jet he loved him and Jet said it back but – but I’m not sure if Kid heard him. I scoped the interior and we’d killed them all. We heard a car and assumed it was you two. We carried Kid outside; Jet took a shot to the chest and collapsed. I killed the others and then you arrived.

They looked stunned.

PP That’s it?
FG Babe.
PP NO! We’ve waited all day wondering what happened and that’s it? Stupid bad luck? Bad timing? The fact that we had let our guard down and had fun we are punished for it by their deaths!?
FG Poison, calm down.
PP NO, FUCK THAT! I WANT MY BROTHERS BACK.
FG I do too baby but nothing is going to make that happen.
PP So Mikey walks in the door and bam, dead. How many Dracs were inside?
FG What does it matter baby?
OC Three. There were three inside.
PP Did Mikey get a shot off?
FG Babe,
OC No, he was looking at Jet when Jet screamed to duck. It was too late.
PP How many did Jet kill?
FG Poison.
OC One. He shot one and then I pushed him to the floor to help Kid.
PP You shot the other two?
FG Why does –?
PP BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW FRANK!
Ghoul sighs and raises his hands in surrender.
PP So then what?
OC I watched Jet and Kid say goodbye. Kid said to tell you he loves you. He told me he was sorry he wouldn’t be around to harass me. Jet begged him to hang on till you arrived but he couldn't.
PP Then?
OC Then I searched the building looking for YOUR friends, the DJ and whatever. No one there.
FG what happened to Dr. D?
PP I don’t know.
FG Wait, the four outside. Just Dracs?
PP No one was an Exterminator.
I cringe inside. I’m telling them the truth and they still haven’t blamed me. How can they not see?
PP How many did Jet kill?
OC Two.
FG Who killed the Exterminator?
Poison looks to Ghoul then to me waiting for my answer.
OC I did. I killed him and the other.
PP Was it Cleric?
FG Oh God, was it?
OC No.
PP How do you know?
FG Fuck Poison how did we not even check his ID? Star did you check it.
OC No.
PP Then it could’ve been.
I look at them and see the desperate hope in their eyes. Their brothers are dead but if Cleric was dead too; then it wasn’t in vain. I think of Jet and how much I changed in this time together. I decide to lie.
OC It could’ve been Cleric. I don’t know. But I’m really tired now. I’d like to take a shower.
FG Oh yeah of course. We should all clean up and get some rest. It’s been a lifetime in one day.
He reaches over and hugs Poison to him.
OC I want you both to know I am truly sorry.
Poison looks at me with a questioning look and stands from the couch. He holds his hand out to Ghoul and Ghoul stands too. They walk to me and I flinch without realizing it. Poison drops Ghoul’s hand and pulls me into his arms and a tight embrace. Ghoul wraps his arms around us both and we three stand in the living room alone and cry.

Notes