On my walk home all I could think about was Gerard. I probably shouldn’t have even gone to detention and yeah I probably should’ve let him know that Mr. Raymond wasn’t going to show sooner, but I just couldn’t help myself. Plus I didn’t get the chance to land any punches before so the detention mishap was probably the best shot I’d get at revenge. Three cheers for me!
Okay, maybe revenge wasn’t the only reason I had for tricking him into staying late…
I know Gerard's an asshole and all but DAMN he’s just so fucking attractive. I don’t want to sound vain but seriously the guy is basically a demigod and I’m just Frank, the punk kid with basically no friends.
I know nothing serious will ever happen between the two of us, I’m not delusional, he’s WAY out of my league and apparently he’s got some hot new girlfriend. Me hanging in detention with him was probably the closest I’d ever get to spending any sort of time with him so yeah I took the opportunity, don’t judge.

Honestly he surprised me, I thought he’d be a lot more harsh toward me, especially since we were alone but he actually seemed to “break character” a few times. It’s nice to know that he’s actually human, he can be shy or flustered, not just angry and self-centered. God it was so fuckin cute* the way he tried to play-off the whole smashing into the table thing and the way he blushed when I was laughing at him.
Even when he was threatening me I couldn’t help but zone out on his gorgeous body, although I kind of wished I hadn’t because maybe then I could’ve avoided the whole “awkward boner, I have a girlfriend” conversation.
The whole school knows Gerard is bi, but I guess I just never really considered him having a girlfriend, from what I’ve seen and heard he seems to have a preference toward guys.
Is it ridiculous that for a slight second I actually let myself believe I was the cause of whatever was happening in his pants? Of course it’s ridiculous! No one likes me like that. I really need to not get my hopes up. Girlfriend, Frank. He has a girlfriend. Just gotta keep telling myself that. That and that he still seems to be quite a bit of an asshole. He threatened your life, for fucks sake Frank!
That’s it, I just need to keep him out of my mind. Yes, that’s perfect. I can do that! Gerard who? I don’t know a Gerard…
I still can’t help but feel jealous of his girlfriend though (whelp there goes the whole forgetting about him plan, which lasted all of about ten seconds) when he started talking about her I was actually kinda pissed off. I mean I obviously have no claims or attachments of any kind to the guy but it’s just one of those things when you have a crush, you feel like the person is yours and you can’t stand even the thought of them belonging to someone else.
Fuck me, of course I had to fall for the most unavailable guy ever. I’ve wished so many times that I could just let this dumb little crush go, but it’s been almost 2 years and I still can’t shake it. The only person I’ve told is Ray, although I guess I don’t have anyone else to tell anyway. Ray told me from the first time I mentioned my crush to him around a year ago that I should just try to put Gerard out of my mind, but you know what they say, the more you can’t have something, the more you want it, and of course there was NO WAY I could ever have him, so naturally I wanted him, bad.


By the time I got home I was mentally exhausted from overthinking everything that happened with Gerard and physically exhausted from the long-ass first day of school. I planned on heading straight up to my room to nap but as soon as I got through the front door I was greeted by my mom, sitting in the living room, a warm smile plastered to her face.
“Hey hun, sorry I wasn’t up to see you off. Come and sit, tell me how the first day went. Also, why’re you so late getting in?” she said, patting the spot on the couch next to her.
‘Oh shit.’ I think as I make my way over to the couch and plop myself down. Now I’ve gotta tell my beautiful mama that her dipshit of a son got into a fight and got detention on the first goddam day!

“Heyyy mama…” gosh I’m dreading this “the first day was umm alright I guess. Got to hang with Ray, which you know is basically the only thing I enjoy about school.” She let out a light laugh at my remark. Good, gotta get her in a good mood before I drop the disappointment bomb.

“Well I’m glad you at least enjoyed part of your day hun, but why were you late getting home? Were you with Ray?” she asked. Now is when I die…

“Well mama, the thing is, and I’m sure you’re gonna get a good laugh out of this but uhh… I sorta umm… gotinafightandgotdetentionafterschool!” I rush out, probably sounding like a lunatic.

“Frankie, please tell me I misheard you, because it almost sounded like you said you were in a fight, but that can’t be true can it?”

“I’m sorry mama. I swear it was an accident though and I didn’t lay a finger on the other guy. It was just, I don’t know, bad timing? Plus the dude was a jerk, he overreacted. He didn’t do much damage though.”

“I’m glad he didn’t hurt you too seriously baby and it’s not that I don’t want you to defend yourself, of course I do, but Frankie, I don’t like you fighting, even if the other person deserves it, and detention on the first day? That’s a new record for you!” she says.

“I know ma, I know, and I swear no more fights for the rest of the year. I can’t promise on detention though...” She seems to be handling this better than I thought…


“Alright baby, I suppose I can live with that, but I mean it no more trouble, can’t have my lil’ peanuts face all beat up! Now how about you go rest up before dinner.” she giggles at the face I made at her little nickname for me before turning and heading toward the kitchen.

I head up the stairs quick and into my room, kicking my shoes off before flinging myself onto the bed. “I’ve missed you.” I mutter into my blankets before dozing off.

A few hours later I’ve woken up, eaten dinner and am now sat crossed-legged on my bed trying to complete the worksheet Ms. Jackson decided to assign us. Bitch just can’t keep her own misery to herself, no she’s gotta spread the misery, make us all suffer. Thanks.
Just as I’m seriously contemplating building a pair of giant wings and flying straight into the sun so I don’t have to complete this atrocious worksheet my phone buzzes. I don’t even need to look to see who it is, Ray is the only person besides my mom to actually bother calling me. I pick up and immediately Ray is questioning me about how detention went.
“Hey man, how was it?” he asks.

“Oh you know, the same as always.” I respond.

“Same as always huh? So you always get detention with the guy of your dreams then? And wasn’t it Mr. Raymond who enforced it? You of all people know he never shows, so why’d you even go?” Shit, it’s not gonna take much for him to figure out why I actually went now…

“Well I uhh I wa-”

“Oh my gosh, dude! You went just to see him, didn’t you?!” Ray cuts me off before I even have time to make up an excuse. Well I might as well be honest now.

“So what if I did?! I really don’t see the harm.” Why do I feel sort of defensive?

“Dude I thought you we’re tryin’ to let your little crush on him go though. I mean he tried to beat you up today! How are you still into him??” He’s got a good point, but I can’t help the way I feel.

“I know dude. I know he’s an asshole and I should probably hate him. I know it’s never gonna happen but there is just something about him. I mean, if he tries messing with me at all I won’t hesitate to give him a piece of my mind, but I’m still gonna feel the way I do. Ya’ know?”

“Alright dude, alright. I’ll keep off your back about this but just don’t do anything "Frank-like trying" to get his attention. You were doin’ a great job up until today of going unnoticed by him.” Well ouch, thanks for pointing out how invisible I am buddy.

“Okay man, I swear on my favorite band tees well-being that I won’t go out of my way to get noticed by Gerard. Now let’s drop it, I’ve gotta finish this shitty worksheet for Ms. Bitchicus and since I’m assuming you’ve already finished maybe you should be workin’ on band stuff. We’re still a few members short after all.” I say, in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Alrighty, good luck, seeya tomorrow.”

“See ya.” I say, before hearing Ray hang up. I toss my phone aside and get back to my homework.

By the time I finish I can barely keep my eyes open, so I settle down into my blankets, not even bothering to change into my pajamas. The last thoughts I have before drifting off are of, you guessed it, Gerard…



__________________________________




The next day at lunch, Ray and I are sitting back at our table in the corner of the cafeteria, chatting about what we’re going to do in regards to our band. We’ve decided to hold auditions in Ray’s garage this weekend. Today we’re planning on staying after school to print some flyers and hang them up around the building. Hopefully at least a few people will see them and show up, this is pretty much our only hope of filling up the open spots in our band.

Halfway through the lunch period we’ve got our plan for the weekend all worked out and are just sitting relaxing when I feel ray nudge my arm. When I turn to look at him he is subtly motioning to across the lunchroom. ‘What the hell is he pointing at?’ I think to myself as I turn to face whatever seems to have captured Rays attention. My jaw drops when I realize that Ray and I are being watched, and my eyes widen slightly at the realization of just exactly who is staring at us.
Gerard and his two main minions Mikey (his tall and lanky, glasses wearing brother ) and Bob Bryar (his big and burly best friend) are watching us from across the room, whispering things to each other that I have no hope of making out from this distance. Before they can realize we’ve caught on to them Ray is pulling me up and away from the table, dragging me toward our next class. “What do you think they were saying?” Ray finally pipes up as we make our way. “I honestly have no clue.”

Notes