Frank held my hand tightly.
I gently pulled away to kneel down, placing the bouquet at the foot of the gravestone. “Miss you, Mikey,” I whispered, running my fingers over the grass. Frank rubbed my back, kneeling down next to me and hugging me tightly. “I'm so sorry, Geebear,” he murmured, rocking me. I broke down and he held me, talking to me softly until the tears finally stopped coming. Frank nuzzled my cheek. “He was only eight..”
I nodded and took a deep breath, still only just holding it together. Frank stroked my hair and helped me to my feet. “Let's get donuts and go home.”

---

I curled up on the couch, Frank bustling around the kitchen industriously. “Frank, stop it,” I mumbled after a while. He walked over and kissed the side of my head. “What's wrong?”
I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. “I can't...it hurts..”
He sat down next to me, sighing softly. “How about we go take a nice bath?”
I nodded and he tugged me up, leading me down the hall. Frank turned the tap on and gently took my shirt off, then his own. “Come on. I know it hurts, sweetie. But I'm right here. I'm right here for you.”
He helped me undress and step into the bath, then climbed in himself and curled up against my chest. “I love you, Geebear.”
I looked down at his bare, tattooed chest, then ran a hand over it, my thumb catching on one of his nipples. He purred and shifted, and I felt him tense up. “Frankie, I wanna..” I trailed off, but he got the message, reaching down under the bubbles and starting to play with me as he kissed my lips. I moaned softly, rolling my head back and moving my hips into his hand. He climbed onto my hips and started to bounce, whimpering happily. I bucked up against him and he squealed, egging me on. I flipped Frank over and shoved him against the end of the tub, pinning his shoulders down as I pounded him. He moaned and screamed, clinging to anything he could hold onto as I felt him release under me. “Fuuuck yes..” I pulled out and frowned as I saw red billow out under the water. “Frankie? Baby?”
He scrambled up, trembling. “Crap. Too hard, Geebear.”
I sighed and pulled him into my lap, holding him tightly. Frank kissed my neck and shoulders happily. “It felt nice,” he murmured. “It's just cause we haven't been rough in a while.”
I sighed and Frank looked over towards the door. “Let's go do something on the bed. Come on.”

Frank laid down on his stomach, looking behind him and smiling. I rolled a condom on and spread his cheeks, pressing a quick kiss to his tailbone before plunging a lubed up finger inside him. He giggled happily and rocked back, moaning softly as I started to move the finger. Satisfied, I pulled it out and reached under the bed, producing a pair of padded handcuffs. I tugged his hands behind his back and cuffed them, grabbing onto the chain in between as I pushed into him. Frank whined and wriggled, not so used to doing it this way. I usually preferred to be more gentle with him, but today, I needed to hear the screams.
And I did.

Frank laid perfectly still, covered in sweat and panting softly. I’d made him cum eleven times.
I laid down next to him and stroked his back, kissing his cheek. He whined and I took the cuffs off his hands, checking for any damage.
“Again?” He managed to say, grabbing at me. My eyes widened. “You wanna go again?”
Frank nodded sheepishly, and I laughed, kissing him gently. “Alright. On your back.”
I spread his legs and dove in, licking, sucking, and biting expertly until his moans reached their climax and my mouth was filled with liquid. I drank it up eagerly and kissed the inside of his thighs, purring.
“I love you..”
Frank giggled happily and I scooped him up, carrying him back to the bathroom. I drained the bath and started the shower instead, helping him stand on his shaky legs as I washed him off. “I love you so so so much, and I love knowing I made you feel good,” I murmured, kissing him briefly. “You're everything to me..”
Frank grinned and buried his face in my neck. “Ditto. Oh god, I am so tired, Gee..”
I laughed and hugged him tightly. “Me too. Movie in bed?”
Frank nodded.

---

Frank was asleep when my phone rang, so I got up carefully and took it into the living room before I answered.
“Gerard here.”
I heard a loud laugh. “Hey, Gee. It's Jackson, from your cell block. I'm out!”
I grinned and ran a hand through my hair. “Awesome. How are ya?”
“Fuckin’ great. Are you still with that man chick?”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes, remembering the absolute lack of tact. “He's a trans man, Jackson, and his name is Frank.”
“Yeah, that's who I meant. Can I come over sometime?”
I glanced back at the bedroom door. “Sure. Tomorrow, for dinner?”

---

Frank smiled at me as I walked into the kitchen. “Hey babe.”
I kissed him softly and rubbed his back slowly. “Heya. Everything ready?”
He nodded and kissed me again, a little longer this time. “Mhm. So who exactly is coming over?”
I sighed. “It's this guy who was in my cell block. He was alright while I was inside, he showed me the ropes and helped me adjust. I don't particularly like him, but I owe him one dinner.”
Frank hugged me and nuzzled my jaw. “Next time one of your prison buddies shows up, you do the cooking.”
“Deal,” I chuckled, gently pulling away when I heard a knock on the door. I jogged over and opened it, smiling at Jackson. He tugged me into an unexpected hug, then barged past me and into the apartment. I heard him greet Frank and sighed, shutting the door before following Jackson into the kitchen.
Frank looked incredibly uncomfortable with Jackson towering over him. I walked over and wrapped an arm around my fiancé's waist quickly. “Why don't you go sit down, I've got to dish up.”
Jackson wandered off and Frank pulled a face at me. I kissed his forehead. “It's just a couple hours, baby, I'm sorry.”
He waved a hand reluctantly. "Go sit down, Gee."
I rushed off to sit down, taking a seat at the head of the table. Jackson grinned at me. “I can see why you like that little fag,” he commented. “On the chubby side, though.”
I felt sick, already realizing this had been a terrible idea. “He’s still losing weight from his pregnancy,” I defended quietly.
Jackson glanced around, looking confused. “So where is the brat?”
I swallowed hard. “Dead,” I snapped, looking up as Frank walked in with two plates. He kissed my cheek somewhat possessively as he set my plate in front of me, then dumped Jackson’s as an afterthought. Jackson rolled his eyes at me as Frank went to fetch his own plate from the kitchen.
Soon, Frank was sitting next to me, playing with the ring on his finger. I smiled at him lovingly, but got a blank stare in response. Worried, I tried to grab his hand under the table, but he moved it away.
I sighed and started to eat quietly. Jackson hummed. “This is really good, so well done, Gee.”
I cleared my throat awkwardly, seeing Frank tense up out of the corner of my eye. “Well, actually, Frank made it. He's a great cook, aren't you, sweetie? I'm so lucky.”
Frank shrugged and picked at his food unenthusiastically. Jackson leaned over and pawed at my shoulder. “So much better than that slop in prison, huh?”
I nodded slightly, paying no attention to him as I was too focused on Frank. Jackson giggled.
“I miss getting to see you sleeping. You're so cute all curled up like that.”
I was trying to catch Frank's eye, but at this point, he dropped his knife with a clatter and mumbled an apology.
Jackson purred, trying to get my attention. “If you ever need me...just call. Anytime, for anything. And I mean anything.”
Frank jumped up and shot off down the hall, startling me. I got up quickly. “I'm so sorry, but I think Frank is feeling ill. Could you..?”
“I can wait on the couch,” Jackson finished smoothly. I shook my head. “I'm sorry, but I think it would be better if you just went.”
Jackson scoffed and rolled his eyes, slamming the door on his way out. I hurried after Frank, knocking on the bedroom door.
“Baby boy? What's wrong, sweetie pie? You're all upset and I'm so worried.”
Something hit the door with a loud thud.
“Fuck off and go fuck Jackson!”
I blinked. “Babe...I think you have the wrong idea,” I said slowly.
“I saw the way he looked at you!” Frank snapped, a tiny sob punctuating the end of the sentence. “I'm not stupid. I know most guys get laid in prison, but I didn't think you'd shove it in my face!”
I rattled the doorknob desperately. “Frankie, please, I didn't do anything with him or anyone else, I swear! I missed you so so bad while I was away. All I wanted was to give you a big kiss and a nice cuddle.”
Frank started to sob softly, the noise hitting my heart hard enough to leave cracks. “You didn't defend me when he called me fat, you didn't stop him when he was flirting...what the fuck am I supposed to think?”
I sniffed and rubbed my eyes shakily, beginning to get overwhelmed. “I tried, baby. I'm sorry it wasn't enough. I don't think you're even chubby, sweetie. I think you're a perfect weight. And I didn't stop him flirting because I was worried about you. You looked so upset and I barely even knew what he was saying, cause I was focusing on you.”
There was a short, tense silence. “I'm still so scared. He seemed like you had a history.”
This tipped me over the edge. I couldn't handle any more accusations.
“Well, I can't tell you anything else, because you obviously don't trust your own fiancé,” I snapped, backing away from the door.

---

I woke up in the morning with Frank curled up against my chest. We were both on the couch, snuggled up with very little spare space. I sighed and kissed him softly, then gently shook his shoulder. “Frankie. I gotta go to work, baby.”
He groaned, but got up and wandered into the bathroom, leaving me to get dressed.
I knocked on the bathroom door as I left.
“I gotta go, Frankie. Bye, baby. I love you!”
I heard a faint ‘I love you too,’ and smiled to myself before kicking my shoes on and heading out the door. I got into my car and turned the key. The engine spluttered and died. It did this almost ten times before I gave up. I was going to be late if I didn't get walking.

I strode down the pavement, cutting across backstreets to make the journey shorter. I glanced down at my watch and was grabbed, a hand over my mouth as I was dragged into an open doorway in the alley. The place reeked of cat piss and old beer, but it was too gloomy for me to make out any more useful details. I heard a door slam and I was thrown onto my back on a hard linoleum floor. I tried to scramble away from the mystery assailant, but found myself up against a wall; the room was tiny. The man's hands went to my jeans and I tried to scream, but a rag was shoved in my mouth, tied at the back of my head. Then the cold handcuffs were clamped around my wrists.
I was undressed fairly slowly, the man taking his time to caress each area of my skin.
I shook under his touch, too terrified to even move, let alone shake him off in this room that was too small even to kick out. The man flipped me onto my stomach and yanked me up on my hands and knees, shoving himself into me roughly.
“How do ya like me now?” Jackson growled in my ear. “Embarrassing me. Turning me down. For that stupid fag? I'll show you what a real man is.”
He gripped my hips and slammed into me over and over and over. I was soon sobbing silently, both from the pain and the intense guilt and revulsion. I tried to hold it back, but found myself cumming, not once, but twice. As soon as he released me, I curled up on the cold tiled floor and sobbed my heart out.

I stayed in that tiny room for a while, rocking myself back and forth and trying to process what had happened. After a while, I scrambled out into the alley and threw up a couple times behind a bin. I had four options; go to Frank, go to Angelo, go to the police, or go to work. I wasn't sure about Frank, considering our fight the night before. I couldn't tell Angelo, not yet. He wouldn't judge and he would comfort me, but I knew I'd break down and I needed to hold it together right now. A similar problem presented itself with going to work. I couldn't answer questions about why I was late. That left the police. They'd be able to help me prove what had happened, not just to convince my fiancé, but also to put Jackson back where he belonged.

---

It took hours of paperwork, crying, questions, and tests before I finally got to leave. I was given a change of clothes and a recommendation for counseling sessions and sent on my way. The results of the test would take a day or two to come in. I went to a coffee shop and sat outside for a while, my coffee going cold as I simply stared at the ground.
How will I tell Frank? Will he believe me? Will anyone believe me? I didn't go to work and I'm wearing new clothes, he's going to jump to conclusions. I can't go home tonight.
I grabbed at my phone and called Angelo.
“Hey Gee. Everything alright?”
“No,” I managed, the sound of his voice making me tear up instantly.
“What's wrong?” He asked softly, obviously noticing the tone of my voice.
I covered my eyes with my spare hand, trying not to start sobbing again. “S-something really bad happened, and I c-can't tell Frank.”
There was a pause and Angelo sighed. “Where are you, Gee? I don't have any more appointments, I can pick you up in ten minutes.”
I gave him the address shakily and hung up, knowing I couldn't hold the tears back for much longer.

Angelo’s truck pulled up and I ran to it, climbing into the passenger seat quickly. He frowned and rubbed my shoulder. “What’s going on, Gee?”
I ran a hand through my hair, then hugged myself tightly. “I got raped,” I said in a tiny voice.
Angelo’s eyes went wide and he leaned over, hugging me. “Oh Gee…let’s go to my place.” The car ride was silent and awkward. I curled up in as small a ball as possible, sniffling occasionally.

When we finally arrived, Angelo helped me out of the car and into the house, rubbing my back slowly. “It’s gonna be alright.”
I laughed quietly. “Yeah. Frank is gonna kill me.” He sighed and sat me down on the couch, sitting down next to me. He started cleaning my cut up and bruised wrists, rubbing cream onto the torn skin before bandaging it. “No, he’s not. He’ll understand, Gee.”
I shook my head. “Last night, one of my friends from my cell block came over for dinner. Frank threw a fit because he was flirting with me and I didn’t stop him cause I was too focused on why Frank was upset. Jackson was really annoyed when I kicked him out to check on Frank. He grabbed me on my way to work this morning..”
Angelo nodded. “Frank tends to assume he knows what happened...he’s gonna think you were with Jackson all day..” I sighed and rubbed my eyes, still only just holding back tears. “I went to the police and they ran tests, y’know? But it’s gonna take a day or two for the results..”
He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my side slowly. “Do you want me to ask Frank to come over here? Maybe if I sat down with you guys, it would help.” I shrugged. “You could try it,” I mumbled, not entirely convinced anything would help at this point.

---

Frank walked into the living room, staring at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I tugged my sleeves down over the bandages self consciously. Angelo hurried in behind him and touched his shoulder lightly. “Something really upsetting and scary happened to Gee today, and he really needs you to be open-minded, okay?”
Frank nodded slightly and sat down next to me, a few inches away. I reached out for his hand and he jerked it away quickly. I folded my own hands in my lap and stared at the floor. Angelo took a seat across from the couch. “Gee, why don’t you try and explain what happened, hmm? And Frank, please try not to interrupt.”
I took a deep breath and didn’t look at Frank, knowing I would break down completely if I did. “Jackson...he had no reason to think I wanted anything from him other than friendship. I never gave him any signs, nothing ever happened. But uhm...he got kind of upset last night when I threw him out cause you were crying..I think he was angry.” I paused and rubbed my eyes, starting to tremble slightly. “My car wouldn’t start and I had to walk to work this morning...and...on the way, he grabbed me. And um...forced me to…” I trailed off and wiped the tears away quickly. “He raped me.”
Frank exploded. “You expect me to believe that shit? Huh? What the actual fuck, Gerard? You know I was raped, right? Like a hundred fucking times! Do you think that’s fucking funny? Is that a fucking joke to you?”
I shook my head quickly, the tears flowing freely now as I tried to interrupt.
“And seriously, do you think I’m fucking stupid? He looked at you like there was a history! He looked at you the way I do! That’s not fucking okay!”
Frank broke down sobbing and I tried to hug him, but he shoved me away roughly, then stormed off down the hall. Angelo leaned over and rubbed my shoulder. “Stay put, I’ll go talk to him.”

For a few minutes, I could hear muffled shouting, then Frank strode out of the bedroom and over to me. “I don’t want you in the house until those results come back from the police,” He snapped, then slammed the door on his way out.
I sat completely still, staring straight ahead. Angelo walked over and hugged me carefully. “He’ll be okay. He’s hurt and scared and he’s lashing out. He doesn’t want to believe it because he cares about you too much. He wants it all to be wrong so he gets hurt and you don’t.”

Notes