Brother (Frerard)

I sit, waiting in the dull room. Busy footsteps past the window behind me, people between rooms visiting friends, doctors checking patients, and myself, waiting for Jamia to wake. I don't know the time or how long I've been waiting. I don't care I need her to wake.

The door creaks open slowly and Gerard steps in returning from his trip to the bathroom, resting his hand on my shoulder and takes the uncomfortable final covered chair beside me.
"They've arrived Frank, it's time," Gerard whispers. I shake my head and don't dare to wipe my tears. I don't give a fuck. I can't do this. I'm not leaving.
"Frank, come on. Let's go see them. It's been a week since you've left here. Let me take you home, for some clean clothes, a shower. I'll shower with you baby. It will be fine. Please, I'll do anything," he pleads.
A week. It feels longer. I've lost count of the seconds, minutes, hours and days. I don't care for them. It is unimportant time.

And so, for the very first time in that week I decide to speak to Gee, who I am sure is dying to hear my voice.
"Please, hold me."
Gerard doesn't hesitate for a split second and hugs me with an almost tackling force. I grip on to him until I can feel the burn in my fingers from just how tight I am holding him. My cries are loud, broken. Gerard joins me in the loud sobs and I feel a piece of my heart break a little more. We stay like that for what length of time, I do not know.

~xoxoxoxo~

"Frankie, come on. Let's see them,"
I shake my head again and stay stubborn. His artistic hands cradle my face and I close my eyes at the smell cigarettes and paint. Cigarettes, even that is something I haven't even left for."
"Have you been painting?" I ask curiously.
"No," Gerard smirks as he leans forward, closing the gap between us before pressing his lips to my own. There is no force, no tongue, just sweetness.
"I love you Frank, please."
"I...I l-love you too, G-Gerard."

Gerard stands and stretches his hand towards me and I reluctantly lock fingers.
"Smoke?" I whisper. He smiles and leads me outside Jamia's room. I am a little shocked to walk out and discover my parents but I don't make any physical reactions to prove that.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry," my mom murmurs, hugging me. I don't take my hand from Gerard's to hug her and I don't give two fucks on what my parents think. I nod at my moms words and dad places a hand on my shoulder.
"She'll be okay son. Are you okay?"
I nod and point to Gerard, avoiding eye contact with either of my parents.
"Hey, Mr Iero, sir," Gerard greets, shaking my fathers hand firmly.
"Gerard, looking after Frankie here I hope,"
"Yes sir," Gee responds, squeezing his grip of my hand.
"It's so nice of you to look after him. We really do appreciate it," my mom thanks, hugging Gee. "It just means so much that you can do this for us and I do hope she makes it. It would -"
"Mom fucking stop!" I yell. I look up, my moms mouth agape and my dads eyebrows furrow. I let go and storm off towards the elevator and almost make it when Gerard catches up, stepping into the empty elevator with me.
"Fucking come here," he orders, wrapping his arms around me. "For fuck sake baby. You poor thing. Hey, it's going to be alright," he soothes.
We step from the elevator and in the fresh breeze. The sky is covered in a blanket of clouds but the air is refreshing, but still the tears fall, only much less now. Gerard pulls me to a nice spot on the grass and brings me to sit next to him. I stare off into the open gardens of the hospital and areas for kids to play. I miss the girls. I wish they were here. I don't know how they will be without their mom, nor how I will be. But she might make it.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I mumble to myself.
"Frankie, take this," Gee offers a lit cigarette to me and I take it happily, placing it between my lips and I watch as Gerard takes a drag of his own and shuffles closing, his arm slipping around my waist and pulling me a couple inches closer, so my head leans on his shoulder as I smoke.
~xoxoxoxo~
One. Two. Three. Four. Five! Five smokes, blown away into the air.
"We should take a trip home Frankie, come on. Come see the girls. Get clean."

I don't say anything or give any type of subtle response. But I feel his hold tighten and his lips against my cheek. "Lets go baby."
~xoxoxoxo~
The pebbles crunch beneath my feet and it occurs to me that I haven't noticed the sounds of my shoes upon the rough surface since the beginning of my stay. 10 Days. I should have stayed in Jersey.
I reach down to grab the largest pebble I see first and toss it aimlessly, but hard at the house.
"Fuck!" A voice exclaims, followed by the sound of the pebble colliding with wood. I look up to see a shocked Mikey ducking for cover.
"Sorry," I whisper. Mikey comes to car, ignoring my apology and hugs me and then Gerard.
"How have the girls been, Mikes? A handful?" Gerard questions.
"Nope, not at all. Bandit is her usual self and Cherry and Lily are just the cutest girls," Mikey replies.
"Do you want to see them Frank?" Gerard turns to me. I stay silent and look away.
"Mikey, do you wanna take them into the games room and maybe put a movie on. I need to take care of him."
Mikey nods and gives a small smile. "Of course, anything for Frank."
"Thankyou, Mikey," I tell him.
We watch awkwardly as Mikey turns away and heads inside shutting the door behind him. I pull a cigarette from my pocket and light it to waste time. Best I give Mikey time to set up so I don't run into the girls. I miss them but I can't.
"This is wrong," I spit out as I'm almost at the end of my smoke.
"What do you mean?" Gerard asks, a look of worry over his face.
"Us. Can this even work? Who fucking knows?"
"Yes, stop it Frank. You're upset."
"How the fuck can you even love me when i'm like this. I'm a fucking disgusting mess."
"I love you Frank and I always fucking will. I go through all this effort because I want you and you need me and I fucking love you. So stop it!"
That shut me up

Notes