A Chemical Christmas (Frerard)

Surprisingly, the sun was up and shining brightly through the window, but the air was still cold and Gerard and I were still as perfect as we were last night. I couldn’t see his face but I guessed he was still sleeping. I pulled away my arm slowly when he gripped it tighter. “Where do you think you’re going?” Gerard laughed. “I’m only joking, here’s your arm back.” “I’m just going to get coffee for us, now that I know you’re awake. Just stay, I’ll be back,” I replied, getting out of bed. Gerard smiled at me as I walked out of the room and down to the kitchen. Thoughts began to fill my mind as I stood in the kitchen pouring two coffees. Last night was perfect. Sure, I only slept with my arm around him, but, he was holding my hand and I know for a fact that he likes me. He kissed me. I didn’t want to pull away because I knew it would hurt his feelings. I picked up the coffees and turned around to see Mikey there. “Why are you so happy Frank? What’s with the smile?” he asked. I didn’t even know that I was smiling. I made a straight face and lied.
“Was I smiling? I didn’t notice. I don’t have anything to smile about. That’s weird. Anyway I’m fine.”
Mikey nodded and he watched me as I walked to into Gerard’s room. He was already sitting up and staring at the door waiting for my return. A big smile was plastered across his face at the sight of fresh coffee.
“Thankyou Frankie,” Gerard said in a sing-song voice.
"You’re welcome,” I smiled, handing him his coffee and sitting down next to him.
"You didn’t have to stay last night. I could kind of see that in your eyes that you didn’t want to when I asked you,” Gerard pointed out. I was surprised by Gerard’s observation and I felt a little guilty now.
"It wasn’t that I didn’t want to stay with you. In fact, I wanted to stay, I was just unsure if you really wanted me to. I would’ve thought you wanted space after that argument with Mikey,” I answered truthfully. I was nervous now and I knew all too well that the wrong words could open up my little secret. I was in love with Gerard. I have been for a long time. Gerard was just always there when I needed him. I could tell him things I couldn’t tell anyone else, not even Paul. Gerard was there for me at the end of every fight, when I needed someone he was there. I loved Paul too, but now that he’s gone, all my feelings for Gerard have taken over. I think Gerard sensed I liked him when I kissed him back.

~xoxoxoxo~

The city was busy, there were only a few days left until Christmas and we didn’t have a Christmas tree.
“You don’t need to get a Christmas tree just because I’m here,” I said.
"Yes I do.” Gerard blushed, shoving me playfully.
"No, you don’t.”
"Yes.”
"I’m not going to win this, am I?”
"Nope,” Gerard smiled as we walked into a stall. There were so many trees, of different sizes and colours. It was different being out today; it was just me and Gerard.
"I want a green tree,” Gerard said.
"White.”
"Green.”
"White.”
"Green”
"What about the black tree?” I asked, pointing to a medium sized black tree.
"Okay,” Gerard agreed picking up a box. We walked down the aisle towards the decorations. We decided on blue decorations, grabbed some snacks and headed home.

Mikey helped us set the tree up but they still weren’t talking. I wanted to ask what was wrong, even though I already knew. I just wanted to know if they would tell me the truth. So, I decided to take my chances.
"Are you two okay?” I asked. Mikey looked at me blankly.
"We’re fine,” he stated. Gerard looked at him and walked swiftly to his room.
"Gerard!” I called out after him. He walked into his room and I grabbed his shoulders from behind and spun him around.
"Gerard, I didn’t mean to bring it up. I’m sorry,” I apologised.
"It’s fine.”
"Gerard, I know when you’re lying, but I’m not going to force it out of you. You can tell me when you’re ready or not at all. I don’t mind. If you need me though, you know where to find me.” I headed out the door and thought it was about time I should go talk to Mikey, who was in the lounge watching Dawn of the Dead.
"Cool, I love this movie. Do you mind if I watch it too, Mikey.”
"Nah, of course not,” he smiled.

~xoxoxoxo~

There was only five minutes left to go, and I had managed to keep all my questions bundled up inside. “Hey Mikey,” I finally said.
“Yes,”
"What’s wrong with you and Gerard? What happened?”
"We’re fine, I’m sorry Frank, but, it’s not my place to tell you. Can you tell him I’m sorry?” Mikey asked.
"Even better, come and tell him yourself,” I suggested.
"He’ll kick me out.”
"Trust me, it will be fine,” I promised. Mikey nodded and followed me to Gerard’s room. Gerard was quietly sitting on his bed. He took one look at Mikey and we both knew he wasn’t happy.
"Shit! Get out; get the fuck out of my room! How could you? I told you not to tell Frank! ” He yelled.
"Gerard, just listen. Mikey didn’t tell me anything,” I added.
"I’m here to say sorry. I really mean it. I think that what you said is great and I’m here to tell you I accept your choice,” Mikey explained.
"S-s-so you d-didn’t tell him anything, Mikey?”
"Tell me what?” I asked.
"I’ll l-leave you too a-a-alone,” Mikey uttered as he left.
"Tell me what!?” I shouted.
"Nothing,” Gerard snapped back. I stormed out and in to my room, slamming my door loudly behind me.

~xoxoxoxo~

Notes

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