The ghost of you
A different drug
"Gerard Way. Don't you dare walk away from me!"
He stops in his tracks.
"How could you turn your back to me. You gave me a name, a place, a purpose. Now? Now you are going to run away with her? just because she promised to make it up to you? Just because your demons tell you to?
Damit Gerard. Why don't you ever fight, Why don't you ever fight for me. Did I mean so little to you?. How could you. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?"
Gerard's shoulders stiffened his hair now black with teal roots, greasy. He turns to face me, pale... So pale, lips chapped, circles under his eyes, those hazel orbes lost in a bloodshot sea that was once white and pure.
He isn't who he used to be. I was gone for a week... And she did this to him... He did this to himself.
He's crying, he's on his knees and crying... I'm crying.. There's a smile on my face... But I'm crying.. Oh my god, what his happening.
Screaming... He's screaming and I'm laughing.. It's like I'm watching this happen outside of myself, everything is spinning.
" I'M SO SORRY FRANK."
" Heh... Heh.. You? Sorry..? I HATE YOU.. 1 week.... 1 week and she RUINED EVERYTHING... How could you.. Huh? Gerard? HOW COULD YOU?"
He stands. Looking at the ground, doesn't even have the nerve to look me in the eyes.
"Look at me.... Look at me and tell me I don't mean a single thing. Tell me you don't love me. Tell me that the past 7 months mean nothing to you. And walk away."
He stays silent.
" Gerard Way, what a nice guy I thought you were. God.. haha.... I can't believe I let you in... after all the shit I went through.. I can believe I let you get to me. I was raped, abused, a drug addict. And fuck I was sober.. and I left for just a week.. hoping that when I got back I could fall into your arms and forget the trail, forget what that man did to me.. but no... I left you alone for one fucking week and you just... got mixed up with her. And now? You can even look me in the eyes and tell me.... tell me that it was nothing..."
" F-FRANK". His voice trembles " Frank... it's not like that." His voice is so shaky.
I.. I HATE HIM!
The tears start again. I don't want to do this. I just wanna sleep forever and not deal with this. God I just wanna go home... have a cig.. I just want to go away from here, from him.
"Tell. Me... Honestly tell me. Not your voices. Fucking tell me... Did you fuck her?" A part of me wants him to say yes, because then it would be easier to let this, us go. But the other part in me want him to say no, it was nothing more than a kiss. And that I could forgive him...
"It didn't get that far, I let her sleep in my bed... I went out to drink... and when I came home... god frank... She looked just like you. But after I kissed her.. I realized she was nothing close to you... she kept going. But I pushed her away and left through the window. I made the mistake. I just wanted to run.. not from you to her. Just away from all of it. I didn't want to see you cry.. I knew you'd feel better without me. I just didn't want to get in the way. God I'm so fucking sorry." He's him again... But I don't know if I can believe those bloodshot eyes.
He looks like a ghost. A ghost of someone I love.
