New York dreams and Comics - Music is still the core.

The week passed by uneventfully, school had been the same as usual, not even Matt was able to get Gerard cheered up. He seemed to have his midn wandering off all the time, but he didn't even knew the reason himself.

He feared himself slowly, not quite himself but his thoughts. They started to go into the wrong direction again. The fear of loosing his passion for art once again started to rise, sending shivers down his spine and making the air suddenly feel more cold than it actually was.

When he was still back in High School, drawing was his passion. He always wanted to publish his own comic, but suddenly the depression hit in, the stress feeling heavier than before and slowly he was loosing his mind, loosing the passion for the pen and the paper. It was terrifying how something so little could get so big. He had shut himself out from society, feared it, feared the communication and interactions he would have to make if he would leave his room. For weeks he just came out at night, eating a bit and pouring himself a new can of coffee to survive. But it was not enough. His family started to notice, worried, but not as much as Mikey did. Mikey missed his big brother, the cheerfull personality which would await him everytime he came home after his music lessons. It simply dissapeard and he thought he lost his brother.
Eventually he managed it to get back into Gerard's mind, helped his brother out of his suffocating depressions and pulled him back together.
Mikey didn't mind that Gerard started the first few days to just talk about art, what it was for him and how beautiful his brother would be if he would be covered in paint on a canvas.
It was okay for him. It was his brother, he was back, even if he changed, he was back. It made him happy to see Gerard finally back into his artistic mood, drawing like the next day doesn't exist and wanting to change the world. He wanted to mean something. He wanted to be something now. He became an inspiration for his brother and it made him proud of himself.

Soon enough, this feel of him loosing the passion for comics started to crawl back to him, but now it was while he was currently sitting on the floor in his house. All of his comic books and already finished pages for his own comic were lying around him, the pencil boxes just like their belongings and markers were thrown around in the room, building a chaotic and dramatic mess around the small figure sobbing in the middle.
He didn't know how it happened, he doesn't wanted to know, he just wanted it to go away and his creative mind to come back.
Shaking violently, he reached for his phone. Scrolling through the contact list, he finally found Mikey and touched the call button with no hesistation. It ringed once, twice, even a third time and just at the moment when Gerard figured that they would probably have band practice now, the familiar voice of his little brother came up.
"Hello? Gerard?" He heard him speaking.
"M-Mikey..." Was all he could say, the words suddenly catched in his throat, bringing him to choke on his words.
"Gerard? What's wrong? Hello?" Mikey started to panic, you could hear it in his voice.
"Mikey... I-I lost it... It's gone... It's all over.. Oh my god I-I can't-" And right there, his voice cracked, the tears flowing over his cheeks in streams, his body shaking hard from the sobbs which escaped his mouth.
"Hang on! I'll be right there, okay?! Don't to anything stupid!" Mikey nearly screamed into the Phone and then the sound wore off.

He didn't knew what he was supposed to tell his brother when he got here. "Hey, I lost my art thing again?" Would seem too weird. How about "Oh, I just lost all my hopes for my future. No big deal" Seemed too... well. y'know-

The door opened, crashing into the wall loudly and in the same moment, Gerard could feel his brother's arms around him.
"Gee.... Oh Gee..." Mikey knew what's wrong, he could see it. It was exactly like last time when it happened to his bigger brother.

"Come Gee, let's get you on the couch first and then you tell me what's wrong, okay?" He spoke softly, earning a slight nod in between the sobbs coming from his brother. Carefully he placed his arm under his brothers shoulder, helping him up and letting him rest on the couch again, pulling the blanket over the fragile, shaking man.
"Frank, could you bring me a glass of water? Ray, please tell Bob that this could take a while." he talked to the other two boys which were still standing in the doorway, shocked by what they saw.
Embarrassment shot through Gerard. He didn't thought that Mikey would bring Ray and Frank. Shame filled his body, making him crawl only further together and into the side of his brother.
Soon enough, Frank came with a glass of water, handing it to Gerard, smiling at him. He was confused for a moment, confused about how one human could make him feel so warm inside, all the shame and embarrassment gone in an instant. Eventually, he took the glass and emptied it in one swift move, putting the empty glass back on the table.

Mikey was still looking at him, noticing every little move his bigger brother made.
"Want to tell me now?" He asked the curled up figure next to him.
Before Gerard could answer, Ray came back into the room, informing Mikey that Bob would wait for them at their house.

Nodding at Ray, he shifted his glance back to Gerard, who was to his surprise, sleeping.
"This guy will be the death of me someday..." He muttered under his breath, but smiled at him. At least he calmed down again.
"Should we go back then? I will leave him a note." Mikey asked, looking at his friends. Ray nodded, already grabbing his jacket which was hung over the chair, while Frank shifted uncomfortable, eyes shifting around between Mikey and Gerard.
"Yeah." He said finally, grabbing his jacket, too, and heading out with the other two boys after Mikey had left a note for Gee.

Notes

Yaaaaaay another update which took me around years to finish, since I already got chapter 5 done but not this one. Ugh.
It's weird, I feel like Gerard in this chapter honestly.
It should've been up two days ago already, but I had to go to the doctor twice that day (hehe) after fainting when they were done with my anti-cancer-injection-thing. The word is too complicated, but you get what I mean.
Problem is, it's only 1/3, have to go in 4 weeks again and then in 6 weeks again.
Also I went to the eye doctor! I need glasses.... Yay... Can't look propperly at things which are more than 2 meters away :D
Worst thing, my grandma and my best friend who is living like 700km away from me got into hospital yesterday.
My grandma is fine, the operation went by without any problems, but my best friend - I dont know.
He was supposed to get the operation next week, but he fainted and the hospital doc said its an emergency. He got the operation at his heart, which is making me worrying hardly now. Haven't heard from him over 24 hours now and I really hope he's fine..
Anyways, have fun with the chapter, comment and stuff to let me know what you think :D much love as usual, killjoys. ♥
(Sorry for missspellings and grammar things, I'm unfocused and on new meds at the time x'D)