When you go

Chapter 15
Frank p.o.v
“What do you mean? He was fine yesterday!” Gerard shouted into the phone. The hospital had called about ten minutes ago and Gee had been on the phone since. We were sitting outside of the school, with Mikey, Ray, and Bob, despite the cold air. We were dead silent as Gee screamed into the phone.
We all knew it was about Bert, but no one said a thing.
“Then someone at the hospital fucked up! He can't die!” He said desperately into the phone. His voice was softer now, but still had an edge of panic in it. I knew he felt this was his fault, but fuck, it really wasn’t. It never was with Gerard; he just always blamed himself.
“Okay….Thank you.” He says quietly, all the hysteria gone from his sad voice.
“Gee, baby? You okay?” I asked quietly, walking the two steps over to him. I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist, looking intently into his hazel eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine honey.” He says, his voice unusually hollow. Worried me how empty it actually sounded. Pain is better than nothing at all.
I just shake my head, wrapping him up in my arms. We stand there for a second, the only sound being our breathing.
“We have to go to the hospital.” He announces. I nod into his shoulder, hearing Mikey and Ray make sounds of agreement. He pulls away from me, grabbing a cigarette out of his pocket. He lights it up, taking a long drag and exhaling.
“Should we go now? Or after school?” Ray asks.
“After school. MIkey needs to get his education.” Gerard says protectively.
“Your such a big brother.” Mikey says grinning. Gee smirks back at him, shrugging a little.
“It’s what i'm best out.” Gerard says, smiling slightly.
“Alright let's go, class starts in two minutes.”
*******
“No! Please, no don’t give up!” Gerard shouted. The doctor was already walking away, his face apologetic. The only thing stopping Gerrard from running after him were my arms wrapped tightly around him.
He struggled against me, begging to let him go. Mikey tried to calm him, whispering things inaudible to me.
“Gee, please! Baby, it’s going to be okay!” I shout over his desperate begging.
“No it’s not!” He shouts, his voice cracking.
“Don’t you trust me?” I say, my voice sounding more hurt than i actually was. At that, he stops struggling, going limp in my arms.
I huff, sitting down on the cold hospital floor, dragging him with me. I cradle his limp, cold body as he silently sobbs. Mikey and Ray sit next to us, hand in hand.
“Gee…” Mikey says softly. “Your...I’m not going to tell you you're going to be okay, because i don’t know if you are. That's up to you, not me. You decide on your future, you decide on how you live. I know this isn't about Bert, not in the grand scheme of things. This is you trying to make amends, amends with our past and the the fuck up things you’ve endured. But you can’t. And Gee, it’s okay, you don't have to right now; just please be happy. Or try, at least.” Mikey begs sadly. Gerard seems to consider this a moment, his face crumpled in pain.
He climbs out of my lap and hugs Mikey tightly. I just sit for a moment, the sting of Mikey’s words were more than i could take right then.
I didn’t want Gee to be depressed; it made me even more depressed. I had always been depressed, i suppose, due to my father or lack of one. But Gee kept me happy….so why wasn’t i doing the same for him?
“Frank, you have to get home soon.” Ray says sadly.
“What time is it?” I asked, confused.
“Nine. They had been trying to save his life for a while.” Ray says quietly. I sigh, silently agreeing.
Berts lungs collapsed, the result being death. We got here at 3, right as he went into shock and they had to undergo an emergency surgery.
“My head snapped up to a figure standing over. I see a familiar guy, dark hair and bright eyes.
“Jayden!” Ray says in delight. I just then recognized him; the guy who saved us.
“Hey,” He says softly, sitting with us on the ground. It was quite odd actually, the fact no one made us move.
“I heard about Bert,” Jayden says frowning.
“Yeah…..” Mikey says nodding.
“Wait, how did you know about that?” I asked. He look over at me, his eyes warm.
“The nurse Lindsay, told me. She was really worried about it, so she kept some tabs on it.” He says softly. I nod silently. It kinda annoyed me how perfect he seemed to be.
“Frankie, honey, we have to get you home.” Gerard says suddenly, going back into his protective manner.
“I’ll see you guys around.” Jayden says smiling softly.
“Do you want my number? I could text you about the funeral.” Mikey offered kindly.
“Yeah, sure, that'd be great.” Jayden said smiling. Mikey quietly exchanged numbers with him, leaving me bewildered. Why did this guy care so much?
“Bye guys.” He says softly. Mikey waves and Ray says bye, but me and Gee are silent. We walk out to the car, me holding up most of Gerards weight. He sniffled a little, but mostly stayed silent. It made me worry.
I tucked Gerad away. Safely in the passenger's seat, my jacket securely over his frail body. Mikey and Ray climb in the back, cuddled against each other, ignoring their seat belts.
I start the car up, slowly backing up. ‘Sing me to sleep’ by the smiths comes on, a perfect song for Gee right now. I hope he can get decent sleep.
I drive to my house, parking out front. Mikey gets the message and moves off of Ray, who protested, but gets in the driver's seat.
“Make sure he...he doesn’t do anything stupid, ‘kay?” I ask Mikey. He nods.
“You got it. Bye, love you, see you tomorrow.” He says smiling.
“Love you too Mikes. Bye.” I said.
Me, Mikes, Ray, and Gee had always said i love you before this year. Something happened though, things got serious. Ray and Mikey started dating, so ‘i love you’ was suddenly to much.
I walk inside fearing the worst. The house is silent, but the lights are still on.
“Frank!”
Well, fuck.

Notes