Life As We Know It

“So why is she such a big pothead?” Lyn-Z questions, eyes fixed on Scarlett who is sitting in the corner of the room, bong held between her knees.

I frown. Even though I’m sure Lyn-Z means nothing by it, I still don’t like it when people call Scarlett that. She’s had her ups and downs with a lot of things and if pot is what helps her, so be it. I’d much rather have a friend who is high all the time as opposed to one who is a raging alcoholic or a meth junkie. “When Scarlett was like fourteen or fifteen she fell into a pool and cracked one of her vertebra. She was in and out of the hospital for months and was put on a lot of super heavy painkillers. She, um, she got hooked pretty quickly. Pot has been the only thing that’s really helped keep her off the pills.”

“I’m so sorry Gerard, I didn’t know,” Lyn-Z says, her eyes wide.

I just shrug, “Exactly, so I’m not upset. A lot of people don’t know that story. Scarlett kind of gives off the vibe of someone who just does it cause they can. I totally understand.”

The dark haired girl in front of me smiles. I’d invited Lyn-z to come over and hang out after our Wednesday classes. I find her intriguing. Lyn-Z kind of has this don’t fuck with me attitude that keeps others at a distance. Yet, as soon as we’d started talking, she’d opened up to me, letting me into her life almost as if we’d known each other for years. Honestly, it is quite refreshing. Usually, if someone is too hard to read or doesn’t seem like they want to get to know me, I’ll back off for fear of trying to hard and looking like a fool. During high school I’d sit back and let my more outgoing friends meet new people. It was just more comfortable that way. When we all left for college I’d vowed I’d at least make one new friend for myself. Lyn-Z made that very easy for me.

“Did you get invited to that big start of school party?” Lyn-Z asks me, getting up off the living room floor to grab a soda out of the fridge, obviously taking Scarlett’s message of making herself at home seriously.

“Uh,” I scratch as a non-existent itch on my knee, “yeah. We’re all going. I think Josh is inviting his new friend Tyler. Are you going?”

“I wasn’t going to, but if I know all of you are going I might show up. Did you go to a lot of parties in high school?”

“Scarlett and Frank were the big partiers in our group. Josh doesn’t drink so he was usually the designated driver,” I explain as Lyn-Z rejoins me on the floor, picking up her x-box remote.

“So they just kind of drug you along?” the brunette jeers, a playful smile set on her cherry red lips.

I shrug, eyes focusing back onto the game. I’ve purposely been doing horrible, letting Lyn-Z stay about a hundred points ahead of me. I want her to think she’s doing well and not just quit and leave because she’s falling behind. “I guess. Lots of drunk people in a small room with loud music just doesn’t appeal to me.”

Scarlett pads through the room, stepping over the various cords that run across the living room floor, “Gerard’s got anxiety. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s been able to talk to you this long without vomiting.”

Lyn-Z bursts out laughing, shooting me a sympathetic look. Leave it to Scarlett to rat me out. I wanted my new friend to think I was normal at least for a little. Sure, she would eventually find out my quirks, but I wanted her to enjoy being around me and what not before I just came out and told her I was fucking terrified of everything.

“Fuck you, Scarlett.”

My burgundy haired friend rolls her light green eyes, sticking her tongue out at me; the pink standing out against the black lipstick she’s wearing, “Honestly, Gerard, she was going to find out eventually.”

Lyn-Z pauses our video game and turns to look at me, “It doesn’t matter. Everyone’s got quirks, yours just happen to involve everyone else. No big deal.”

I let out the breath I have been holding. Frank always told me that people who really want to be my friend wouldn’t give a fuck if I had anxiety. It took me a good four years to start believing him and even now I question it. People like Lyn-Z help put my fears to rest. “Thanks for not getting up and walking out.”

“Gerard, can I tell you a secret?” Lyn-Z questions, placing her hands on my knees, her body now completely turned in my direction.

I just shrug my response.

“I’ve got anxiety too, mine is just triggered by the idea that at any moment life could just end. I’ve got pills for it though, that helps a lot. So I’m not going to just not hang out with you.”

I smile at the girl in front of me, “Do you want to stay for dinner? Jenna, one of my friends from high school, is staying with us and makes the best vegan food.”

“Sure, maybe we can work on our room drawing afterwards. There’s this really cool place, a library about a block from here, that I’d love to show you,” Lyn-Z answers.

“Yeah, totally.”

Two hours later I find myself walking down the street next to Lyn-Z. She’s got her black jacket pulled tightly around her, despite it not being that cold yet. I’m convinced that the library isn’t going to be open at eight o’clock at night, but the brunette has assured me that it’s open late, just like everything else in the city. Everything in New Jersey closed down around eight and if it wasn’t closed you probably didn’t want to be involved in whatever was going on.

“Are you ready to see the most amazing thing in the entire world?” Lyn-Z questions. She’s wearing a big smile, her fingers curled around the golden handle of the library door.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” I answer back, raising an eyebrow. I’ve seen some pretty cool shit in my short life. It isn’t that it takes a lot to impress me, but I’m still skeptical. This place is honestly just a hole in the wall between two shiny office buildings.

Lyn-Z pulls the doors open, ushering me inside. Shelves upon shelves of books circle the room. There is a fire pit in the center of the circular room, and although the fire inside is fake, it sets a nice atmosphere. Oversized leather chairs are scattered throughout the space. A few people sit off to one side, talking quietly over coffee. Glancing upwards, I notice that the ceiling of the building is covered in glass, allowing the light from the surrounding buildings to filter through. The smell of old books fills my nose and I can’t help but smile. My new friend was right; this place is absolutely amazing.

“I sincerely apologize for doubting you. How did you find this place? It’s incredible.” My eyes continue to dart around the room, finding new aspects of the library design to take in.

“I’ve lived in the city for like a year now, or something like that. Don’t get me wrong I love the activity, but sometimes I just need to get away from it. I used to just kind of wander around and the front of this building caught my eye. It’s so different from the structure of the glass office buildings.” Lyn-Z answers, leading us over to a worn down red couch towards the back of the building.

“Wow,” is all I can manage. I could probably live in the city for the next twenty years of my life and never find something like this.

Lyn-Z and I draw for a few hours before she decides to call it a night. Although I offer to walk her home, she declines, insisting that she’s a tough girl and that she only lives about ten minutes away. Not wanting to push my luck, I wave goodbye to the brunette and walk the block and a half home.

Almost immediately after I unlock the door my phone chimes. I jump a little, still not entirely used to the stupid device going off. I’d only just updated to one of those fancy smartphones after Mikey insisted he was going to video chat with me when he had the time. Sprawling out on the couch I accept the call, my little brother’s face popping up on my screen seconds later.

“Hey! You figured out how to use your phone!” Mikey laughs. As usual, he’s wearing a ratty grey beanie that Scarlett had gotten him for his birthday a few years, glasses perched at the end of his nose.

“I guess I did.”

“How’s college. Enjoying being an adult?”

“It’s like high school, but you can eat ice cream for breakfast and no one bitches at you,” I answer back with a smile.

“No bro, high school sucks. At least in college gym isn’t a requirement. I have it second period. Do you know how shitty that is? We had our fitness test thing today. I purposely did terrible so that when I actually try at the end of the school year it’ll look like I improved,” Mikey babbles on, occasionally bringing a black coffee mug up to his lips.

“Are you ever just going to turn in that note the doctor wrote to excuse you from gym?” I question. Mikey has severe asthma, which is brought on by excess physical activity. Mom had brought him to the doctor about a year ago, after he’d passed out in P.E. for the hundredth time. The doctor had written him a note, excusing him from gym class. He’s honestly an idiot for not turning the damn thing in.

“One day. How are Josh and Scarlett? Bob got me from school today and let me do my homework in the workshop. He’s working on this really cool art piece that he’s hoping to sell.”

“Scarlett is her normal self, but she did go to all her classes today so maybe she’s turning over a new leaf,” I answer back with a laugh, not believing a word I’m saying.

Scarlett has always been kind of a rebel. She likes to push the envelope and see just how much she can get away with without getting into too much trouble. Just my luck that both of the people I’m closest to have a taste for danger. I’m honestly surprised Scarlett has made it this far without being arrested.

“Josh seems to be adjusting pretty well, though he has taken to sleeping in Scarlett’s bed. Don’t ask me why because he does has his own. The first few days we where here he didn’t sleep at all, just sat up on his computer. He’s weird about noise and stuff when he sleeps though.”

“Who hasn’t slept in Scarlett’s bed? I think even Jenna has spent a few nights with the moon child. Is she still spacing out?” Mikey questions.

“If Scarlett stopped spacing out I’d be concerned,” I answer with a laugh. “How’s our little slice of hell?”

“Boring. Someone got shot the other day. There was police everywhere. They still don’t know who did it.”

I frown. I worry about my brother still being in Belleville. The town is pretty dangerous. It’s not uncommon for people to get held at gunpoint. In the last month of my senior year the school was on lockdown four different times because of people bringing various weapons to school. Mikey keeps to himself though and doesn’t have many enemies, which probably means he’s pretty safe. Well, as safe as you can be in a town where people getting shot is just a normal thing.

“Oh,” the camera shifts views and suddenly, I’m looking out into my little brother’s room. He’s got CD cases all over the floor and his second hand bass is sitting on it’s stand, the case left open, filled with an assortment of sheet music. “Mom got me a goldfish. I named him Billie. He’s got a black fin.”

The small fish flashes across my screen. Mikey gets a new goldfish every couple months. Usually they die because my little brother insists on picking the wimpiest one in the tank. Mom thinks the responsibility is a good thing for Mikey. I don’t understand why a kid who often forgets to bathe and feed himself needs the responsibility of trying to keep a fish alive, but it seems to make him happy.

“Did you and Bob go for ice cream?”

“Do you have Mikey on the phone?” Scarlett questions, walking into the living room. She walks over to the couch, sitting down on the armrest, waving at my little brother. “Hey, Mikes. How’s it hanging?”

“Yeah we did Gee. Just chilling like a villain, Scar. How’s the city treating you,” Mikey answers back with a smile before taking another drink from his coffee mug.

“Like fucking royalty little dude. When are you coming to visit us?” Scarlett answers back.

“As soon as I can. Not this weekend though, Bob and I are going to a show in Newark. I’ve got Labor Day off, I could take the train in then.”

“Rad. I’m going out, but I’ll catch you later Mikey.”

Mikey smiles, “I should actually go. I’ve got a little homework. It was nice talking to you. Bye Gerard.”

I nod my goodbye seconds before the screen goes black. I’m glad that Mikey is doing just a well as he always is. It makes me feel better to know that my little brother still has someone he’s close to in New Jersey. Sure, I’m not that far away, but he can’t just walk one room over if he wants to talk.

“Where are you going out to?”

“No where, I just didn’t want to blatantly tell your little brother I was going to go get high,” Scarlett answers before getting up and pulling her bong out from the kitchen cabinet. “Want any?”

“Naw, I’m good. I’m gonna head to bed. Enjoy your smoke Scarlett.”

“Sweet dreams, Gerard,” Scarlett answers with a salute.

Thursday flies by. I sit in classes for what feels like two minutes before the teacher dismisses us. Before I know it, I’m standing at the corner store, waiting for Scarlett and Josh to meet me. Josh made most of Scarlett’s schedule for her so I’m not at all surprised that they have three out of their five classes together. Anymore those two are attached at the hip. Sometimes I wonder if Scarlett is using Josh to replace her closeness with Frank.

Before I can think too much on it, a slender body is thrown at mine, arms wrapping around my neck, as a set of lips press to my nose. Scarlett’s wind chime giggle fills my ears, “Boo.”

“So scared,” I laugh back, slipping my fingers between Scarlett’s. Today is one of those rare occasions when the burgundy haired girl is wearing short sleeves so I don’t have to fight with any kind of fabric to find her hand.

“I knew it,” my friends answers back, smiling up at me. “Guess what we get to do tonight.”

I grin at Scarlett, “I haven’t the slightest clue.”

The girl punches me lightly in the arm, rolling her pale green eyes, “We’re going to that house party you dummy.”

“Hey, we’ve got to talk about Scarlett’s make out buddy for tonight,” Josh voices as we enter the apartment.

Jenna has got food going again, a bottle of wine sitting open on the table. Scarlett snatches it up and takes a long drink. Suddenly, she hurries over to the sink, spitting the dark red liquid into the shiny basin. Her nose is scrunched up, her tongue stuck out under the steady flow of water from the faucet.

“It’s cooking wine. Maybe read before you drink Scarlett,” Jenna says with an eye roll, grabbing the bottle and putting it back in the cabinet above the fridge. “Also, I wasn’t joking about sitting this party out. I’ve got way to much to do for this trip to Greece because the guy who was supposed to coordinate everything is in the hospital with Zika.”

“Jenna, no,” Scarlett whines, pouting at the blonde who just shrugs.

“So that leaves you and I for Scarlett’s party buddy,” Josh says.

He’s always been big on Scarlett having someone to pal around with. Our friend tends to drink a little too much, which makes her more than willing to make out or hook up with anyone who she finds mildly attractive. We’d started the make out buddy system in our junior year of high school after Scarlett had sex with this seedy college guy who always hung around at house parties. Usually it rotates, but because most of our group isn’t around the responsibility falls on Josh and I.

“I’ll do it,” I offer.

In all honestly I don’t really mind. Scarlett is a good kisser and it’s kind of fun to see the looks on the guy’s faces when I’m the one taking her home at the end of the night, even though it’s just to put her to bed. We’d also made that a rule, no matter how much she asks for it, none of us are to sleep with Scarlett when she’s under the influence of alcohol. Only one of us has broken that rule and thankfully Scarlett just laughed it off.

“Dude, aren’t you bringing Lyn-Z to the party? Won’t that be weird,” Josh voices his concern.

I just shrug, “Might as well completely submerge her into the interworking’s of our friend group.”

“I’d make out with Lyn-Z,” Scarlett muses before popping a grape into her mouth.

“Who wouldn’t you make out with Scarlett?” Josh questions with a smile.

“You.” Scarlett answers back with a wink, running a finger along Josh’s jaw before disappearing into her bedroom, probably to start getting ready for tonight. She takes forever to get ready when we’re going out.

“Did you invite Tyler?”

“Yeah, I texted him earlier today. He hasn’t answered so I’m assuming he’s not going to come. He didn’t really strike me as someone who parties,” Josh answers with a shrug. “I told him if he wanted to come he could just show up at the apartment before nine.”

I raise an eyebrow at Josh, “You gave some dude you barely know the address to our apartment?”

“Gerard, it’s fine.” Josh assures me as Keys N Krates starts playing from the back bedroom. “Loosen up a little.”

I just nod to my friend before flopping down on the couch next to Jenna, “Are they ever going to grow up?”

The blonde raises an eyebrow at me, “Are you getting tired of going out every weekend?”

“I just, I don’t know. It’s exhausting, ya know. I don’t like the loud music and all the people. Everyone acts like they love you so much, but it’s just the fucking alcohol talking, ya know? I mean I knew that Scarlett wasn’t going to change; she’s addicted to the attention and everything that comes along with being a pretty girl at a party. I was just hoping that maybe Josh would stop enabling her so much,” I answer back, trying to explain how I feel, but, as usual, the words get all jumbled up.

Jenna just shrugs back, “You have to learn to accept them for who they are; a bunch of young adults who don’t want to have to face the reality that they’re getting older and will soon have too much to do and not enough time to do it. They’re living their lives like they’re stuck inside a shitty punk music video. It’ll catch up with them.”

As I go to answer back, Scarlett shoots out of her room in black shorts and a bright red bra. Josh appears in the doorway, wrapping his arms around the barely clothed girl. Scarlett lets out a high-pitched squeal, twisting around to run her tongue along Josh’s cheek. He grimaces before letting Scarlett go. She runs into the kitchen, grabs the bottle of Fireball off the top of the refrigerator before heading back down the hall, dancing to the song pouring from her room as she does.

“You can either fight them or join them Gerard, both have consequences.” Jenna says before turning her attention back to the laptop resting on her legs.

“Sure thing.”

About two hours later, Scarlett reemerges from her room. She’s wearing black highwaisted shorts, a mesh top with a black bra under it, and bright red heels. Her burgundy hair hangs in lose curls around her face, part of it pulled up into a loose bun. She’s got some kind of glittery shit on her eyes and her lips are blood red. Josh links elbows with her, clad in red skinny jeans and a black button down. He’s got on a light blue bowtie. They look like a couple out of a magazine.

Before I can comment, there is a knock on the door. Assuming it is Lyn-Z, who agreed to meet up with us here before we all left for the party, I answer it. Standing in front of me is a thin man with short brown hair. He’s in black pants that look like they might be a little big for him and a black tank top that looks like it’s seen better days. “Can I help you?”

“Uh….” The man standing in front of me shift his weight from foot to foot, shaking his head before looking back up at me. “Is Josh here?”

“Tyler! You decided to come!” Josh exclaims, pushing me out of the way so that he can pull the male into our apartment.

“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t text back. I decided to come ten minutes ago.”

“No problem man, I’m glad you could make it. Want anything to drink?”

“Water?” Tyler answers back, his voice rising at the end as if he’s not entirely sure of his response.

Scarlett rolls her eyes, grabbing out three shot glasses, pouring a little of the cinnamon whiskey into each, “What you meant to say was you’d like a shot.”

My friend hands a glass to both Tyler and I, lifting hers to her lips and swallowing hard. I follow suit. If I’m going to be spending all night with her I’m going to need to be at least somewhat drunk. Tyler stares at the golden liquid for a second before tipping the shot back, sticking his tongue out a little as he sets his glass back down on the counter.

“Are you the sober one for the night?” Tyler questions, looking over at Josh.

“Oh, no, Josh is lame and doesn’t drink,” Scarlett answers back, shooting the blue haired boy a dirty look.

Josh simply shrugs, “I prefer to be drunk on life.”

“Gag me with a fucking spoon,” Scarlett answers back as the door swings open.

Everyone jumps. Josh pulls Scarlett behind him as I pull a kitchen knife out of the drawer by my hip. Even Tyler takes up a defensive stance. In front of us stands a girl in a plaid skirt, a cut off yellow shirt and pig tails; Lyn-Z.

“Goddamn, are all of you expecting the mob?” the girl laughs, shutting our front door behind her. “Put the fucking knife away Gerard. I’m not gonna attack any of you.”

Scarlett laughs, stepping around Josh to pull Lyn-Z into a hug. Although the dark haired girl looks confused she hugs my friend back, “We’re from New Jersey. People typically knock. If they don’t we have to assume we’re about to get robbed.”

“New Jersey sounds like a fucking rough place,” Lyn-Z responds, looking over Scarlett’s shoulder at me, the corners of her lips pulled up into a smile. “You smell like straight alcohol, Scarlett.”

“I know. Want a shot?”

Lyn-Z shrugs, “Why the fuck not?”

Loud music can be heard up the street, multicolored lights flashing out onto the sidewalk. There are people standing out on the front porch of the townhouse, most smoking cigarettes others simply sitting on the steps, probably enjoying being able to talk at a normal octave. Scarlett, who has been handed off to me, pulls me forward a little, eager to get inside.

“So what exactly are you tonight? Like a babysitter?” Lyn-Z questions. On the walk I’d tried to explain to her what exactly a make out buddy was. The whole concept had kind of just confused the brunette, who is now pretty tipsy from the shots Scarlett had given her.

“Yeah, like a babysitter that makes out with the kid they’re watching.” The second the words leave my lips I regret them. That just sounds fucked up. Shit.

Lyn-Z giggles a little as we walk up the steps, pushing the door open. “Will she make out with anyone?”

“If you get her drunk enough,” I shout back over the music pumping from two large speakers set up to my left.

“Interesting,” Lyn-Z answers with a wink before letting Scarlett drag her towards the back of the house.

Josh and Tyler have also disappeared, leaving me to perch atop on of the couch armrests, watching the party unfold. I spot Scarlett and Lyn-Z over by the beer bong table, the two of them passing a red solo cup back and forth. They’ve got their foreheads pressed together, swaying to the music. A guy with greasy black hair hangs on the edge of the two girl’s conversation. As Scarlett hands him their red solo cup I quickly get up off the couch and push my way towards them.

“Hey, man,” I stop the guy I’d seen with Scarlett and Lyn-Z, “did they ask you to get them another drink?”

“What of it?”

“Why don’t you let me get it?”

“Fuck off dude. Find your own sluts.”

His words infuriate me. I don’t care how promiscuous a girl is, you don’t call her a slut. It’s derogatory and rude and shameful. As I ball up my fist, ready to punch this sleaze ball right in his oversized nose, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Spinning around, I catch Scarlett just as she’s about to hit the floor. Standing next to her is Lyn-Z, giggling like a mad man.

“I almost fell Gee,” Scarlet laughs, her eyes locking on mine.

Before I can stop her, her lips crash against mine, hungry. I’m pushed up against a wall, finger’s tangling in my hair. I feel Scarlett’s teeth nibble on my lower lip and I respond how I always do, I run my tongue against my friend’s top lip. Scarlett grins against my lips, her soft pink tongue flicking out to meet mine. As I continue to make out with one of my best friend’s I feel lips on my neck. Pulling away from Scarlett I look over to see Lyn-Z leaving big red lipstick marks on the side of my neck. She smirks at me, placing a tentative kiss on my lips before pulling away and crashing her lips on Scarlett’s. I’m left pressed up against the wall watching two of my friends just go at it. This is insane.

After a few seconds the girls pull away from each other, both of them wearing big lopsided grins. “I told you I’d make out with Lyn-Z. I’m going to go find Josh.”

With that Scarlett disappears into the crowd.

“Sorry about her,” I mumble as Lyn-Z and I head towards the front door. I really need a cigarette. Scarlett will be fine for the few minutes I’m outside. I’m sure she’ll find Josh and Tyler.

The brunette just shrugs, pulling on the ends of her pigtails to tighten them, “I don’t mind. It isn’t like she forced me to do it. She did give me the courage to do this though.”

Lyn-Z’s cherry red lips press against mine. They’re soft and taste like orange juice. I gently place my hand on the side of her face, thumb rubbing over the smooth skin of her cheek. I’m not sure if Lyn-Z is kissing me because she’s drunk or because she actually wants to, but I don’t really mind. Right now I just enjoy her lips moving against mine, not even caring who sees.

“Dude, where’s Scarlett?” Josh’s voice pulls me out of my trance.

Whipping around I see my blue haired friend, Tyler standing next to him. Both of them are drenched in sweat, no longer wearing their shirts. “I thought she was with you. She told me she was going to find you.”

“There’s like a hundred people in that house Gerard! There’s no way she was going to find me. If you didn’t want to watch her you should have made her my responsibility!” Josh’s face is red, that little vein in his forehead that you can only see when he’s pissed popping out. Now, I’ve never been scared of Josh, but when he’s angry he can lose it. His usually docile nature shuts off and he’s a ragging bull; that’s one of the reasons he doesn’t drink.

“Look, we’ll just go back in and look for her, okay? Come on Lyn-Z,” I answer back, helping the girl up off the step and leading her back inside. “I’m going to check upstairs. Josh, Tyler, you guys should look around down here.”

We all split. Lyn-Z holds onto my hand as we force our way up the stairs. We part to start opening doors. There are various people sitting and talking or fucking each other’s brains out. Lyn-Z is a few doors in front of me, when she stops, hand held on the gold doorknob. “Gerard.”

I instantly get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn’t right. I try and shake it off as I walk the few paces down the hallway. Everything feels like it’s slowed down, like I’m walking through a pool of molasses. The scene in front of me makes bile come up my throat. I reach for the small garbage can sitting just inside the door and hurl. That sleaze ball from downstairs is poised over Scarlett, his dick out, her pants pulled down around her ankles. The burgundy haired girl has her head flopped off to one side, eyes shut.

Disgust turns to rage as I pull the greasy haired dude away from my friend. My fist makes contact with his face, only stopping when I feel bones crunch under my knuckles. Blood spills down the dude’s face, “She’s fucking passed out!”

“She asked for it, she drug me upstairs.”

“I don’t give a fuck! You should’ve stopped when she passed out!” I let my fist make contact with the guy’s face one last time before turning back to Scarlett.

Lyn-Z has gotten her re-dressed, trying to get the thin girl up off the bed. Brushing off the brunette’s attempts, I hoist the limp body of my friend over my shoulder, heading back down the stairs. I spot Josh easily and head right towards him. His eyes grow wide as he see’s Scarlett tossed over my shoulder, completely unresponsive.

“We need to go. Now.”

Notes