A Life in Hell

I sat at the dining room table, surrounded by posters, cigarette butts, and empty bottles of whatever kind of alcohol you could think of. Another cigarette shook in my hands. Rather, I was shaking, and the cigarette shook with me. I sighed, and put my head in my hands. Gerard had been gone for 2 months. I know he didn't just leave. He wouldn't do that . I know my brother. I reached over to my glass of whiskey, the third this hour. I drained it, and as I went to refill, the doorbell rang.

"Hey Mikey." Ray took one glance at my unshaven face, my dead eyes. "Shit man, you look really fucked up. Let's get you cleaned up."

"No. Fuck you, Ray. I thought you were coming over to help me find Gerard. Who, need I remind you, is still missing. One of your best friends, you fucker. So either help me, or leave." I went to shut the door, but Ray put his foot in it.

"I know, I know. I'm just trying to help you out man. What can I do."

I stumbled into the dining room, and my array of pain. "We, uh, we need to hang these posters up. And also head to the police station to see if their was any progress. And, I, uh, I need some more cigarettes."

"And a shower. Look dude, I'll do whatever you need. You just gotta get clean first. I swear, the 5 minutes it will take won't make a difference. You'll feel better."

"Ok, Ok."

30 minutes later we were at the police station, having hung up all the posters.

"Hey, Officer."

He grimaced, and a look of pity came over his face. "Hey Mikey. I told you, call me Jimmy. You're hear about Gerard, aren't you."

"Yes Officer. Er, Jimmy."

"I'm really sorry. Really really sorry. No progress yet."

"Ok. Thank you for trying."

"I'm call you as soon as we find something."

I nodded, and Ray guided me out of the station. I was shaking the whole ride home. We went inside, and I finally lost it. I started breaking shit, throwing bottles everywhere, before Ray grabbed my wrists and forced me to stop. We sat down on the couch, broken glass cutting into my hands.

"Fuck, Ray. I just miss him so much. So damn much."

Notes

I'm back again, at least for a while lmao