Addiction

I had taken the day off to spend time with Gerard and address the food issue. It wasn't okay that my baby was starving himself because he thought I wouldn't like him if he ate. I would love him no matter what.
Waking up, I tried to detangle myself from the hold Gerard had on me, giving up occasionally in fits of silent giggles. Looking at him while the light was slowly filtering in and casting beautiful shadows over him, I felt so lucky. Thousands of particles of light formed together to light him up in the most glorious way possible, and if the shower wasn't calling for me, I'd stay here and just exist with him. Forget that I kill people, forget about how I got him, just forget everything that isn't him. But, alas, difficult conversation was ahead, and I smelled like sex, so eventually I had to tear myself away and get into the shower.
I thought about how I was going to approach it. Almost any time I tried to talk seriously with him he cried. He thought I was going to break up with him or something whenever I used a stern voice. It would have to be softly, doing whatever I could to stress that I wanted him to eat. Maybe if I told him how important it was to me. I sighed as I got out of the shower and dried off. This wasn't going to be easy.
When I got out I saw that he was already awake, but hiding under the covers.
"Frankie!" He jumped up and ran over to hug me, almost squeezing the life out of me. "You're home!"
“Yes baby, I’m still home. I took the day off.” I stopped to kiss him deeply, pressing my body against his. “We’re going to spend the whole day together, princess. We’ll get to do whatever you want- along with some of my own input, of course.”
He jumped excitedly, kissing the side of my mouth. "Daddy, thank you!" He squealed.
I smiled at how happy he seemed and leaned down to kiss him again, slowly running my hand down his side. “Mm… Baby, as ready as I am for this day to start, there is one thing we have to do first." I said quietly, trying to plan out how this will go, and half scared that he'll break down and start crying.
"What, daddy? Anything!" He smiled widely. Maybe he'll take it well since it's coming from a place of concern for him. I just couldn't let anything bad happen to him.
I sighed quietly and led him to sit down on the bed next to me, pulling a blanket across his lap before pulling him into me. I kissed his forehead, thinking over the words carefully.
"Sugar, we need to talk about something from last night."
“I… W-was it the flowers? I’m sorry Frankie, I thought since it was the backyard it was okay- I should have asked you first, I won’t do-” He started quickly, worry washing over his features.
"Princess." I said firmly, successfully cutting him off. "This isn't about that. This is something different."
Confusion and fear came next, changing his features and making his bottom lip pout out a little and his eyes glaze over in thought, processing what I had said.
“Kitten.” I said sharply, making him look up. “You need to listen to me, sugar. Last night, you made me a wonderful lasagna. It was delicious, and absolutely perfect. And yet, when you served yourself, there was only a tiny sliver of a slice on your plate. Can you tell me why that was, princess? Why did you take so little?” I wondered if I was too rough on him until I saw the confusion in his eyes.
“What do you mean, daddy? I took the right size. I need to stay pretty for you daddy, I always make sure I don’t eat too much so I stay pretty. Besides… I’ve got a little…” He started blushing. "I have some… some belly fat. I need to make it go away. I need to fix it, it’s ugly and… and I need to be pretty for you."
I was concerned. I wasn't sure how long it had been going on, admittedly not often paying attention to how much he eats, especially when I'm not home.
“Gee, baby…” I pulled his face up gently to look into his eyes. "You can’t do that, sugar. For one, you don’t have any belly fat. You’re so skinny I worry about you sometimes, like if I were to be just a little too rough you could snap in two. Second, doing that to yourself is dangerous, kitten. You need nutrients, you can’t get them if you don’t eat right. I want you to eat more, okay? I don’t want you doing something so potentially harmful. What would I do if I lost my princess?”
“You’re in danger every day for your job… Getting rid of my flab isn’t as bad as you going off and almost dying all the time!” I didn't know what to say to that. He rarely snapped. It made me upset. I felt like he took for granted everything I've done for him, for us, and it did frustrate me that he didn't understand. Before I realised what was happening, he was on the floor sobbing. The one thing I didn't want to happen, was now happening. He started talking quickly, choking out various words that I couldn’t make out, his voice breaking at almost every word.
“I’m s-so sorry d-daddy!” He was whimpering around his hands, hiding his face and sniffling loudly. “I’m sorry, I w-was bad, I was very b-bad! I d-deserve to be p-punished, however you want daddy, I d-deserve it. I deserve the worst p-punishment, I’m bad and I’m s-supposed to be perfect, I want to be p-perfect! B-but all I do is s-screw up, and I’m s-sorry daddy, I’m so s-sorry. P-punish me, punish me like- like I deserve. I deserve it, I wasn’t p-perfect.” He was at my feet, shaking slightly in fear. I sighed and grabbed him up softly, pulling him into my lap and stroking through his hair, trying to comb through the raven mess. He started hiccupping, making me smile and kiss his head and his body reacted with the noise. “I just want you to be safe.”
He looked up at me, and I kissed him, trying my hardest to assure him with actions, rather than words, though I knew that wouldn’t be enough. “It’s okay, princess. You didn’t mean to, it was an accident. I’m not upset, everything is okay. You’re okay, baby.” I wiped the tears from under his eyes with my thumb. “Stop crying, sugar. You’re okay.”
“I’m sorry, daddy…” He cuddled into my chest. Still on edge, I suppose. I wish he could understand how much he and his safety means to me.
“Princess. It’s okay. I love you, remember? You made a mistake, it’s okay. I’m not mad.”
He cuddled even deeper into me, which I thought was impossible but apparently not.
“Thank you… I love you too, daddy. I love you so much.”
“I know, princess.” I smirked. Maybe there was a way to get his mind off of this. “But, you were right… You should be punished for what you did.”
Before he had time to get worried again, I tangled my fingers through his hair and used it to pull his head up to crash my lips into his, roughly, and filled with something I hoped came off as love, though probably turned into pure lust as soon as he moaned into my mouth. He tried to press up against me, causing me to push him back down. “Now, now, you know better than that kitten. How many spanks do you think you’ve earned?”
“H-however many you say, daddy…”
I hummed in agreement. I love when he just submits to me. “I think you’ve attained 50 today, kitten. Such a bad kitten… C’mere.” He was bent over my leg as soon as I demanded it. I rubbed my hand over his ass soothingly, electricity filling me as I slowly let myself slip deeper into the dominance.
“Are you ready for your punishment, sugar?”
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I was so happy I had stayed home to spend time with Gerard. It wasn't often I got to see my kitten being so good and going about his chores, but I loved it. I hated leaving him during the day. I know it's for the best, and I have to, but he gets so scared when I'm gone and always seems to think it's his fault that I have to go, that I want to go, despite me assuring him that I had been doing this long before I met him.
I felt bad about leaving him for so long. I've been the only contact he's had besides my guards for months upon months, and it really draws out his neediness. He's expressed his fears to me in the past, post orgasm, when he's far too tired to ever filter anything out. He told me about how scared he is that I'm off finding someone else during the day, that I just won't come home, that someone else is going to catch my eye and draw me away from him. I try my best to reassure him and be home on time, but I still get texts from the guards informing me that he's broken down and crying again when I'm late.
I wouldn't leave him. I know that, everyone who's ever had general conversation with me knows that. I went through too much to get him to just throw him away. My babydoll still gets worried though, and it just seems like more of a reason to get him a phone. He can keep contact with me and I can do my best to promise him that we're okay, and I'm not going to leave him.
At least, that's what I tell myself on the way to the mall. I was extremely nervous as I looked over at Gerard, who was blindfolded and holding onto my arm like he'd float away without me. He's been hidden for too long. What if someone recognized him? What if he ran?
It was too late to worry about that, I suppose. I had already promised him I'd get him one, and he seemed so excited. I couldn't disappoint my princess.
We were about two minutes away from the mall when I decided it was okay to take off the blindfold. He shook his head slightly and readjusted his hair before curling back into me, apparently uninterested about looking outside to see the cars or where we were pulling into. When we finally found a parking spot and stepped out, his eyes went as big as saucers, only increased when we stepped into the mall. He kept tugging my arm and pointing at various things that caught his attention. Which was almost everything. A couple times he would get so excited that he would tug me in the direction until I let him go, laughing when he found things he liked. He'd leave the store without asking me for anything, but I'd send a text to our driver and tell him to go buy it. Whatever it was that he wanted, he got. I made sure of all of it.
We eventually arrived at the electronic store, and I told him to pick whichever one he wanted. I laughed when he picked it out, but had expected it all the same when he pointed to the light pink one.
“That one? That’s a great choice, sugar.” He seemed pleased and hugged my arm into his chest while I tried to draw the attention of the cashier over.
“We’ll take this one.” I pointed to the pink one and she quickly walked off to retrieve one. Once she came back and saw that I was paying in cash she got suspicious. Understanding why, I waved my hand to tell her to check that they’re valid, and once satisfied she bagged up my phone and wished us a good day.
We walked back out the way we came and the car soon pulled up. I took care of blindfolding him, and before I knew it, we were back at the house. I sent him in while I talked with the guards about his phone.
“I need some way to protect it, right? I can’t have him freaking out that I’m not home by 6;30 and calling 911 and alerting the world to what I’ve done. What should I do?”
The taller one, Tom, I think, spoke up, almost sounding afraid of having the wrong answer. “You could… try blocking the number? Block any number you’re scared he’d contact, block websites that he might find stuff on, and then block words and stuff, like editing the speech and what he’s able to see. You could take out his ability to see ‘Gerard Way’ in things and switch it to something generic and that way he just won’t realise.”
“That’s a brilliant idea. Tom, right?” He nodded sheepishly. “You’re getting a raise, buddy. Thank you.”
I walked back inside and smiled at Gerard. “Princess, I’m going to set it up and fix it so that the bad people won’t be able to trace it, okay?” I squeezed his hand lightly and went to my study to begin disabling the tracking and everything else that needed to be fixed.
By the time I was done and out of the study, he was cleaning again. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing the phone box into his stomach to give to him. “Ever my little housewife, aren’t you kitten?”
He blushed and let me kiss him before realizing I was giving the phone back to him. He opened it and slowly turned it over in his hands, admiring it. “It’s all fixed up, princess, and I’ve added my number to it. I’ll let you choose what to put as the contact name.” I winked. It’d probably be daddy or Frankie, but it was adorable. “I’ve also added the collective number for the men outside, in case something ever goes wrong, okay? Now sugar… I’m going to go upstairs now. Join me once you put in my contact name, yeah?” I leaned in so my breath would hit right beside his ear. “It’s time for you to… get what’s yours.” I smirked at his reaction before kissing him and walking upstairs, thinking about how I was going to reward him. He might be too sore from this morning to really have fun, but I’m going to make sure he still feels good. My kitten deserved it after being so good today.
It wasn’t long before he came up, excited and a bit shy. “Babydoll.” I beckoned for him to come to me, and when he was within reach I grabbed him and pulled him against me, kissing him softly and letting him decide when to get rougher. I tangled my fingers through his hair and yanked sharply as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, earning an incredibly slutty moan in appreciation.
“Get on the bed. Now.” I growled against his lips, smirking when he obeyed quickly, sitting on top of his knees with his hands behind his back.
“Such a good kitten.” I purred, looking him over. I reached forward to pull his shirt off and groaned at the sight. The bruises I left last night were now maddeningly beautiful, made darker by his pale skin and his incessant need to dig his fingers into them. “How do you want to be rewarded?” I asked, grinning when his eyes went full with possibilities.
“C-can I make you feel good, daddy?” He asked, peering up at me through his eyelashes.
“Baby, I’m offering you anything at all, and you pick making me feel good? Why?” I’m flattered, but I expected him to ask for a rimjob, or his vibrator, or something that we didn’t do often.
“Yes. I-is that not okay Frankie?” Worry had found its way into his voice again.
“Shh. It’s fine baby. Is there anything else daddy can do to make you feel good though?”
“Well. Maybe one thing?” Here it comes. “Can I ride you?” Oh. That’s not at all close to what I expected.
I groaned, throwing my head back, and unable to resist rubbing my hand against my boner, still trapped in my jeans. “Yes princess. That would be amazing. Come down here first though and choke on my cock. Be a good little slut for daddy.”
He nodded excitedly and got down on his knees, trying to get my jeans open. I decided to help him out and take them off, throwing them across the room along with my boxers, making my erection bob up and down in front of his face. He leaned forward and licked a thick stripe up my dick, swirling his tongue around the head before slowly sinking down, pulling off in an obscene pop after he got about halfway down.
I started thrusting my hips up, fucking his throat in earnest now, letting him gag and hum against it until I grabbed his hard and tugged, letting him know I was about to cum.
“Okay baby. Come ride daddy like the good little whore you are.” He looked up at me through his eyelashes, his flushed cheeks and red, swollen lips standing out beautifully against his pale skin, before he giggled and skipped over to the bed.
“Be a good kitten for me and make as much noise as you want, okay Gee?”
He moaned loudly, almost testing out if I meant it, as I slowly rubbed a finger over his hole.
“Yes baby, I mean it. Daddy wants you to be loud.”
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Afterwards, I carried him to the bath and helped him clean off all of the sins and memories we had made, not being able to help laughing when he kept looking over the hickies and handprints I left over him with something I could only describe as awe.
“Daddy?” Gerard asked as he was scrubbing himself clean.
“Yes, princess?”
“I didn’t make dinner, I’m so sorry.” I could already see the worry spreading across his face, so I interrupted him quickly. “No, don’t worry sugar, I texted Tom and asked him to go pick up some pizza for us.”
That was a lie, but he seemed incredibly pleased and much more relaxed, so I sent a quick text asking Tom, to which he said yes, and he’d be back in twenty.
My babydoll took great pride in decorating, and the bathroom wasn’t any exception, by any means. There were candles lining almost every open space, and diffusers for oils laying around the handmade soap that he got to order when he was good. We had a lot more soap than either of us could ever use, but it made him happy, and I owed him a lot more than a couple soaps.
“I’m ready to get out, Frankie. Can you hand me a towel please?” He asked as he started to get up, draining the water and shaking himself to get off the excess water while I tried to locate the fluffiest towel we owned before handing it to him.
By the time we got out, the pizza was downstairs with a smiley face on the post-it note.
We curled up on the couch covered in blankets, while the Misfits played softly in the background, another request I asked from Tom.
“Dig in, baby. I want you to eat at least two slices, okay? Please? For daddy?” He looked disappointed but did as I asked, even eating a third piece while he went on about how good the oregano in it was.
“That was so good! I wonder if I could make pizza that good.”
“I’m sure you could baby. Probably better.” I kissed the tip of his nose, slowly getting up and pulling his arms with me until he was up too.
“Sir? What are we doing?” He looked around amusedly while I fished for the remote to the stereo to turn it up.
“Shh. Come on.” I pulled him against me and started moving slowly in tune with the music. Slow dancing to the Misfits might not be the best thing, but as he stifled his giggles against the crook of my neck I realised it probably didn’t matter to him.
We continued like that for about an hour, until the music ran out and he started yawning.
“Do you want to you to bed now?” I asked him, grinning as he shook him head, obviously very sleepy. “Why not baby?”
“I wanna spend more time with you.”
“Come on. There’s always tomorrow, okay? Let’s go.”
He tried to feign disappointment, but the small squeak he let out was proof that he was pleased. I got in bed and held out my arms until he got in and cuddled into me, letting me tug the covers over him.
“I love you, Frankie.” He whispered into my chest.
I kissed the top of his head, rubbing circles into his back. “I love you more, kitten. I promise.”

Notes

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy I procrastinate a lot. My fault. Hate me instead of her. I suck. Also this is 3,000 words shorter than it was meant to be because the original draft got deleted ! I also got glass stuck in my nipple and have the soft palate of my mouth bruised because, like Gerard in the story, I'm kinky. And dumb. Super dumb. A nyways.
-thnksfrthmdln