Jilted generation

I woke up to the sound of my alarm beeping so I allowed my arm to crash onto the top of it in order to shut it up. I reached over for my glasses and planted them on my face. Great, I could see now. After a while I managed to drag myself out of bed. Like literally drag. I didn't want to go to school. Well, I know that lots of people don't want to go to school. But I just really really really didn't want to go to school. I was so tired and just didn't feel that great at all.

I wondered over to the door, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror as I walked past. I looked like a zombie. Maybe I was a zombie. I had the dark circles painted under my bloodshot eyes and my hair looked like I'd just stuck my finger in a plug socket and decided to wear it as a 'hairstyle'. My lips were dry and cracked and my cheek bones were sticking out from my face, which cast dark shadows onto my pale skin. I sighed. Why did I have to look like this? Why did I have to be me? Couldn't I just be someone else?
I opened the door and headed to the bathroom. I had a piss. 'Cause you know. You gotta take a piss every now and then and rinsed my hands under the cool water. I splashed some onto my face and felt it hit it, causing me to start shivering. I kinda just let the water drip down my face before partially drying it with the corse towel.

And then a thought momentarily took a hold of my mind. 'Was it still there?' Had last night really happened or had it all been a bad dream? Well. There was only one way to find out. I inched towards the cabinet and opened the cool mirrored door. I wasn't going to. No. I wouldn't. But I said that last night and I almost did. If it wasn't for Gerard then.... I shivered.
But it wasn't there. It had gone. Phew! I felt glad but could also feel a little bit of disappointment creeping up my spine.

I got changed and made my way down the stairs with my backpack. I was about to head out of the door when I heard someone call my name:
"Mikey!" Said the voice, "breakfast?!" It asked.
I wondered back over towards where the voice was coming from. I ended up in the kitchen. The smell of the toast already making me feel a little sick.
My mum turned back around, a smile on her face. But it quickly disappeared when she saw the sadness stuck onto mine and my hollowed out cheeks. I smiled, trying to reassure her that everything was okay.
"Breakfast?" She asked again, pointing to Gerard who sat munching on his fruit loops at the table.
I shook my head, "um, I'm okay thank you Ma"
She came over to me and hugged me. Allowing her warmth to soak through me and she combed her hands through my messy hair. I hugged her back, thanking her for the support and the hugs. But I wasn't hungry that morning.
"You never are though. And that's what I'm worried about."
"I'm sorry Ma. I'm sorry for letting you down. I don't wanna be like this."
"Hey," she cooed, " I love you for who you are and I just want to see you happy and healthy. That is my job after all."

I pulled away from her hug and smiled back at her. She had helped me through so much. But I still couldn't tell her about last night and how I wanted to... No. It would ruin her. And I didn't want to do that. I had to keep her safe and make sure that she didn't find out.
Gerard finished his breakfast and walked over towards me. He looked at me. Sort reassuringly. Sorta not. I knew what he meant. 'Eat something' I could hear his mind screaming at me. I shook my head.
"You okay hunny?" My mum asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine thanks." I replied. Gerard glanced at me again. Those eyes telling me to 'eat something. Even if it was only a bit'. The words rattled around my brain until I eventually succumbed to the pressure.
"Okay then mum. Could I, um, have a bit of toast, please?"
She looked delighted and that smile crept back onto her round face.
"Of course!" She replied with, "but you'll have to eat it on your way as you two are running a bit late."

We set off out the door. Half a slice of nibbled toast in my hand. My backpack pulling me down towards the ground. We smiled and waved back to her as she closed the door. I looked to Gerard. He looked to me then the toast and back again.
"Good" he relied with. "Just fabulous!"

Notes

So hi. I think that you've already guessed that I'm pretty crap when it comes to updating chapters regularly. Yeah, sorry about that. But anyway, thanks for reading and all that jazz. :) Xx