Jilted generation

I felt my older brother's arm sweep around my back and hold my shoulders reassuringly and I allowed him to remove the razor from my trembling hands. He sat me down in the corner joining me on the floor after bringing me a glass of cool water. I tried to take a sip but I could feel it already clogging up my throat. I put the glass down next to me, listening as it hit the tiles, and then buried my head into his chest to hide the tears that were streaming down my face. He pulled me in closer stroking through my hair.
"No more Mikes." He repeated over and over again. I tried to form a reply in my mouth so that I could spit it out, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Gerard knew about it. He knew that I used to, you know? He was the only person that knew actually. I hadn't meant for him to know, I hadn't wanted to trouble anyone with the thought of what I was doing to my own wrists. But he'd noticed the scars sketched neatly into my skin and I couldn't lie. I had to tell him. He just looked worried but he promised not to tell mum or dad. God, imagine if they found out.
After a while I managed to moan a reply to Gerard's soothing words.
"T-thank you" I mumbled turning to face him. I could see the worry stressed onto his face and I knew that he truly cared.
"It's okay Mikey....it's okay" he whispered back into my ears.
"You w-won't tell, w-will you?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat.
"Tell who?" He asked sounding confused.
"Mum and dad" I replied. I didn't notice that my hands were starting to shake. Showing the fear that had been caused by the fact that I had come so close to hurting myself again.
"I won't tell" Gee began. I breathed a sigh of relief. "You ever feel like this again. You come straight to me, okay? I'm only 2 doors away. Always remember that, eh?"
"Yeah...okay. Thanks Gee. You're only across the landing. I know."

Gerard didn't normally ask question as he knew that some made me feel uncomfortable but he did now.
"I thought we'd stopped this Mikes. Why did you want to?"
"I-I-I" I tried to speak but my words were swallowed up by my own tears.
"Is somebody saying things to you?! Are you being bullied?! Is it something that I've done?!" Gerard asked concerned, his hands also began to shake. I held them in mine and hugged him.
"No...." I murmured back, "it's just.... You know. It's not helping, the um...."
"The... Eating problem? The disorder?" He asked pointing to the sick that leaked down the side of the toilet and into a small pool on the floor.
I nodded my head.

There was nothing much else to say. He stood me up and sent me back to bed placing the glass of water on my desk. Gerard cleaned up in the bathroom and tucked me in, placing a teddy bear next to me.
"Gerard..." I whispered, "I'm not 5"
"I know." He smiled walking out the door.
"Hey, Gee" I said. He stopped turning around to glance at me, "thanks"
"It's okay. I'll always be here" he replied pointing to his room across the landing. "Always here."
And with that he closed the door behind him and left me to go to sleep. I let the shadows creep in around me, watching as the darkness edged into my eyes.....

Notes

Hey. Hope this chapter was okay. How you all doing? Thank you for reading. :) Xx