Jilted generation

I was sat in the bathroom again, watching as the beams of moonlight sneaked through the window and onto the smooth tiles. I sat with my head in my hands trying to keep what I could down. The smell of sick began to rise and it made me feel even sicker. Why did this have to happen to me? Out of all the millions of people in the world it had to be me?
I could feel my body begin to shake as I closed my eyes, trying to just focus on one thing. To just sit there. Just sit there by myself. All alone. I began to hum a song to myself. The sounds bouncing gently off the walls and back into my ears. I looked at my watch to see that it was about 12:30 at night. I sighed. Would I ever get chance to sleep. Obviously not, I said to myself as I let more green liquid leak out of my mouth. I watched it swirl down into the water and mix turning it an ugly green colour. Not the nice kind of green like fresh green grass or well, grass seemed to be the only thing that I could think of at that particular moment in time. I couldn't really think that much as my head was throbbing trying to ignore my screaming throat. My stomach began to dance again and I felt the spines pushing against my throat. ugh. I don't really wanna describe what it feels like to be throwing up your own insides much more but let me tell you that it's not very pleasant. Not pleasant at all.
I began to cry because that's all that I could think to do. The sobs racked my body from which bones looked like they were trying to break through and the tears began to roll down my face. My light brown hair seemed to stick to my face and I combed it behind my ears as they ran down my face. This was it I told myself. I didn't think that I could carry on much longer. With school? With home? no. Just everything. I wasn't sure if I could keep going. I could just.....
And then that would be it. No worries. No nothing.
Would people even care? Maybe... But not many. I'd probably just be better of dead. Yeah. That would definitely be better. I'd have more use if I was dead, wouldn't I?
My mind drifted as I began to think about what it would be like. Would there even be anything? Would I see any god? What does it matter, anyway? I'd probably go to hell anyway. Since as I throw away what people spend to much time and money making. I do feel guilty. All the time. Guilty that I can't even keep a meal down. Scared that someone will see the old scars on my critical veins, viciously criss-crossed into my pale flesh. But that was the past. That wasn't me. Not anymore. I was different now. I had a friend. A friend that cared. A friend that actually liked me and wanted to spend time with me. I'd never had that before. And I had my older brother who had wavy black hair and a smile plastered to his face most of the time. He had got lucky. Well, no. He was a nice and funny and kind and people liked him and then there was me. Little kid with round glasses and hardly any friends. Yep, that was me summed up in 9 words.
I slumped back against the wall staring at the razor that stood against the glass in the cupboard. It seemed to entice me towards it. It told me that I would feel comfortable. I would feel numb. All my problems would disappear. I wouldn't have to worry. I tried to shake the images out of my head. Not today. I told myself. But it seemed to drag me closer, tugging at my arms, at my legs, at my mind. And I couldn't do anything. Apart from hope. Hope that something could stop me from it.....

I looked at myself in the mirror. Eyes sunken deep into my head, my cheek bones standing out against the rest of my face from which round Harry Potter style glasses were placed. I took them off wiping the tears from my sore eyes before rolling up my sleeve.

There was a soft tap at the door. I quickly put my glasses back on and turned around to see him stood there. His eyes staring at the razor that dangled from my hand.
"No more Mikes" he whispered, "No more....."

Notes

Hi guys. Hope you're all having a good day or night. I apologise for the long wait between chapters, first week back at school and I'm absolutely shattered. But on the plus side I got a Nirvana and Rage against the machine albums. So that's always great. I'm still not sure where this story's gunna go but thank you for reading. :) Xxx