"Mikey! Mikey it's okay! Mikey you'll be fine! Just wake up!" Gerard yelled to my twitching body. He ran towards me. Well, no. Two Gerard's ran towards me but they merged into one crying mess as he crashed into the side of the hospital bed. I looked down to my wrist to see it wrapped up in this cushioned thing to keep it still. A splint or something like that.

"Where is he?" I cried, sitting up suddenly, an oxygen mask pulled over my mouth.
"Who?" Asked a confused Gerard.
"H-him. Ma-athew..."I whispered, yanking the mask off my face.
"No-ones going to get you Mikes." My mum said comfortingly, her hand entwined in mine.

My dad stood next to her.

"It's okay." He grunted, leaning over to pat my shoulder. I shrugged away from him.
"Don't come near me!" I screamed in his face, "y-y-you said...."
"Hey, calm it Mikes!" He said, moving closer to me.
"No!" I said yanking off the white sheets, "you said that you didn't want me as your own f*cking son, dad!" I swung my legs over the edge and jumped out the bed. My dad grabbed my shoulders and tried to sit me back down, "no! Mikey I'd never say that!" He cried.
"Get off me! You'd rather have 'it' dead wouldn't you?" I screamed through my sore throat.
"Mikey, please!"
"Get off me! You never loved me anyway!"

I ripped the tubes that connected to my arms and threw myself out of bed. I stumbled shakily to my feet and began to run down the ward. My lungs began to ache as I watched my dad run after me. I could see the door, I was almost out when she came rushing in front of me.

I fell to the floor and watched as her notes and clipboard clattered along the floor. She looked at me with a smile behind a veil of ginger hair.

"I'm so sorry!" My dad shouted, catching up to me.
"Hey. It's okay..." She replied collecting her stuff off the floor.
My dad tried to pick me up by my waist. I screamed in pain as his hands pressed against my stomach. He let go of me and left me curled up on the floor crying.
"I'm so sorry, Mikes." He whispered. "I didn't know..."

I lifted up my shirt to see the blue and purple splodges painted onto my skin, stitched onto my body, wrapping around my stomach.


After a while a group of nurses surrounded me, trying to persuade me to stand.
"Mikey, you're seriously hurt." one whispered to me, sitting next to me on the floor.
"I don't understand..." I whimpered back.
"Right Mikey, we need to get you back to your bed."
"I don't want to."

"Please Mikey!" My dad chimed in.
"Piss off!" I glared at him.
The nurse sat next to me continued:" you were injured at school, Mikey. And now you are in hospital, okay?"
I nodded.
"Okay. And you are very injured and we want you to be well and to do that we need to get you back into your bed..."
I continued shaking my head as she spoke, hiding my tears behind my hands.

"Oh! For gods sake Mikey! Please do what they tell you! You were in a right state when you came in. They had to remove glass from your neck, stitch it back up again. They had to pull your wrist back into place, they've taped your nose up. They kept you alive Mikey!"

I looked up through the brown hair that dangled in front of my puffed up face.
"And that's why your'e so angry?" I asked.
"What?"
"Because you wanted me dead!"
"I don't want you dead, Mikey! That was a dream, a dream!" He pleaded.
"Well, it seemed pretty f*cking real to me!" I yelled back, my spit flicking onto his face.
"Mikey, I-I-I....." He stuttered.
"Oh! For f*cks sake dad! Stop acting like you want a worthless piece of sh*t like me in your life! You don't! And why would anybody love me! You'd replace me in a heartbeat!!!"

"Hey, hey calm down" the ginger nurse said, patting me on my back. She asked my dad to leave for a moment and waited until I had calmed down.
"You want to go back and see your mum and brother now? Do you want to go to your bed?"
"Um, yes..." I muttered, feeling embarrassed. She helped me stand up and we started to walk back towards them. I twisted my non-broken-wrist arm from her grasp and fled to the door, avoiding the other people on the ward. I burst through the doors and stumbled down the stairs. Away from the hospital, by myself.

And that is why I am sat here now. Writing in this bloody book that Abby told me to write my feelings and what happens down in. Just waiting for someone to come home and walk into my room shouting at me because of my behaviour. And it wasn't long until I heard a soft tap at the door.

Notes

:) thanks. Xx