Bound By A Chair

4.
I wake up to the morning sun pouring through the windows and into the room. I could feel Frank’s body curled into mine and the heat radiating off him. I felt relaxed knowing that he was off the streets and back here with me. Frank looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, the sun was making his skin glow and I could see the small trace of a smile on his pink lips. I had a strange feeling rising in my stomach and I couldn’t recognise what it was, I then realised that it was the feeling of arousal, how strange? I hadn’t been aroused much but it was most unusual for me to be aroused, especially as I generally can’t feel the lower half of my body. As much as I was curious as to why I was aroused I decided it was quite inappropriate for me to be close to Frank like this, so I peeled myself away from him, careful not to disturb him and then I made my way back onto my own bed. I got my sketch book and decided that I would sketch Frank while he was peaceful and undisturbed.

An hour passes and I have almost completed my sketch when Frank starts to stir with a dopey smile on his face.
“Hey” he says softly, brushing the hair out of his eyes. All of a sudden he looked very confused and he went very red in the face.
“W-what?” I asked worriedly, wondering if he was upset that he was back in this dump with me.
“N-nothing, just had a strange dream” He shakes off and shuffles awkwardly out of bed to the bathroom. I didn’t really pay attention and went back to finishing my sketch. I could hear the shower running.
15 minutes later Frank came back out the bathroom drying his damp hair with a towel.
“What are you drawing?” He asks, coming over to sit next to me, I hide the drawing close to me to stop him from seeing.
“You can’t see” The confusion appears on his face as he tries to make a grab for the sketch.
“Why not?” He gives me his best puppy dog eyes but I start laughing and shake my head, I swear that this boy will be the death of me.
“You’ll think it’s weird...” He grins and starts tickling me to try and get it. He gives up after many failed attempts.
“Please....I promise I won’t think it’s weird” I bite my lip and nod and give him the sketch. He stares at it for ages making me nervous.
“What do you think? You think it’s weird don’t you? I’m not a creep I-“
“Gerard it’s beautiful” He breathes out still not tearing his eyes away from the paper.
“Really? You think so?”
“Yeah, I do. How can you draw it so beautiful though?”
“It’s because you’re beau-“
“BOYS, LUNCH IS READY!” Greenford shouts for us through the door. I’m glad she interrupted me because I only just realised what I almost said. I blush staring down at the floor before wheeling myself to get lunch with Frank.

We eat in silence, remembering that the only person that I am breaking my silence to is Frank. This means that I’m alone with my thoughts. I started thinking about Frank. Was I really going to call him beautiful? I don’t think guys are beautiful do I? Thinking about it, I’ve never really thought a girl was beautiful, I’ve never had a girlfriend. But I’m not gay....or am I? I start trying to list all the celebrities I think are attractive...but none of them are girls. Why haven’t I ever realised this before? I guess I’ve just never had a crush on someone- wait....so does that mean I have a crush on Frank?

“Gee do you want to go back to our room? I’m not allowed to go out anywhere” I nod, blushing at the cute nickname he used for me. We go back to our room and sit on my bed. Frank pulls out his laptop and starts searching up random things that I’m not really paying attention to.
“I like the nickname you gave me” I whisper to Frank, he blushes.
“S-sorry I didn’t mean to-“
“I like it. Don’t worry” I smile and he returns to emailing people? I don’t really know what he’s doing. But when he’s done he turns to face me and we sit there for a while. I decide to test the waters and ask him questions that I’m too scared to ask anyone else.
“F-Frankie?”
“Yeah Gee?” He smiles comfortingly.
“Can I ask you some questions? I just- I just can’t really ask anyone else them...”
“Gee you can ask me anything, I won’t judge you, I promise.” I think about my wordings before asking Frank questions that I’ve wanted to be answered for a long time.
“You see...I don’t really know much about love or anything. And I was wondering....is it weird to like boys?” I cringed as the words left my mouth.
“Wow...ummm...okay...I wasn’t expecting this kind of question.” Frank coughed nervously, “Not at all. Some boys like girls, some girls like boys, and some girls like girls, and some boys like boys. Not everyone is accepting of it but no I wouldn’t say that it’s weird” I nodded taking in the information, “Why do you ask?”
“Ummmm, I think that I like boys...maybe...I’m not sure, I’ve never liked girls, but I mean...have you seen young Leonardo Vicario?!” Frank laughed nodding.
“Yeah, I think he was my first crush” I looked up in shock and he was blushing.
“So you’re gay too?” He nodded.
“Yeah I am” He smiles gazing at me. I could feel tension between us but I’m not sure what kind it was. We both started laughing and pushing each other over, this eventually turned into a pillow fight, until we were rudely interrupted by Greenford.
“Frank, you have a visitor” He looked just as confused as I was. I looked at him for an answer but he just shrugged.
“I guess we better go and see who it is, come with me?” I blushed and then nodded eagerly and followed him out the room. He stopped when he came face to face with a man, of similar height to him, black hair, dark clothes, quite tanned skin.
“No fucking way! Pete?!” He exclaimed excitedly before being pulled into a hug.
“Yeah buddy, I said that I’d find you” I sat there awkwardly, could this be his boyfriend? Surely he’d have mentioned it if he had one.
“You have 2 hours Frank, then you have to be back” Greenford said sternly. Great, so I guess I’m being left on my own. I turned myself around and was wheeling myself back to my room when I felt my chair being pulled back and spun around.
“Gee do you want to come with us?”I smiled and nodded. Why was Frank inviting me out with him?

We left the house and I let Frank push my chair as I had no idea where we were going. We ended up at where I assumed Pete lived. We gathered around a table and chairs and I half listened to what Pete and Frank were talking about.
“Gerard what do you do for a living?” I heard Pete ask me. I looked at Frank for help.
“Ummm, Pete, he’s mute and-“
“I’m a comic book artist” I announce quietly, Frank looked at me with shock, “Well I’ve got to start talking somewhere...”
“That’s awesome, I’m a tattoo artist. Do you like tattoos?” I could feel myself shiver at the thought of needles.
“Well, I have a phobia of needles, but I like tattoos on people.”
“That’s a shame, they’d look good on you” I could hear the smirk in Frank’s voice as he spoke.
We laughed for the rest of the time. Frank smoked, I didn’t feel like trying it right now so I passed on it. Pete and I got on really well, talking about music, artists and films. Frank got up to go to the toilet and left me alone with Pete for a while and I decided to ask him if he was dating Frank.
“Pete? How do you and Frank know each other...are you like, dating or something?”
“No, no, no. Frank and I go way back, he was my best friend through high school. We’re not dating, I just got out of a very serious relationship with my ex girlfriend, she had an affair but I felt like it was ending soon anyway...” I relaxed finding out this information, apparently Pete noticed this.
“Why....do you like him?” I blushed at the comment.
“What no?! I’m not gay!”
“Yes you are.” I heard Frank state as he came back outside. I gave Pete pleading eyes as if to not say anything to Frank. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Oh nothing, just my new boyfriend.” I was thankful that Pete changed the conversation and talked about his love life. I found out that he is bisexual and is dating a tall, lanky guy with glasses, he wouldn’t reveal the identity of him yet though because he’s not sure how serious they are.

The night drew to a close and we had to return back to Fairfield. We had eaten so we went straight back to our room.
“You got on well with Pete then?” I nodded.
“Yeah, he’s a nice guy. Why did you invite me out with you?”
“Well, thought it would be nice to get out of this place for a bit” I smiled, turning the lights off and staring up into the night sky. The possibility of Frank liking me back is very slim, I have nothing to offer him. I’m just a slowly rotting sack of potatoes. I have no skill, I’m not even attractive. I’m hardly going to ever be able to offer him a future and there are way better people out there for him than me.
“Gee?” I heard Frank whimper.
“Yes Frankie?” I heard him muffle a cry.
“Please hold me” I got out of my bed and slowly made my way over to his. Space already made for me next to him. Without saying anything I wrapped my arms around him, pulling hi close to me and holding him close until he stopped crying. When I felt his body relax in my arms I lay still hoping that more of my days can end like this.
“Things will get better my beautiful Frankie” I whisper into his ear before drifting off into the darkness called sleep.

Notes