Wicked Little Town

The bathroom door slammed in his face and Frank stood in front of it for a few seconds, staring as if he was trying to see through it to the other side. Inside the bathroom was his girlfriend, Jamia, barely 17 years old, just a couple of months younger than him, and she was the one who shut the door in his face.

After a few moments, Frank finally gave up on trying to develop the x-ray vision he didn’t have, and just sat on the floor resting his head on the door. They were in his house and Linda, Frank’s mom, was at work leaving them all alone. So, being there on the other side of that door without Jamia made him feel lonely.

“What are we gonna do?” he he heard from inside the bathroom finally. The voice was right next to his ear on the other side of the door, where he could tell Jamia was sitting opposite him.

He didn’t have an answer to her question. He had no idea what they were going to do now. The strip on the pregnancy test turned pick just about 5 minutes earlier, and he could feel himself change. Change into a father. That’s the only thing he was sure of.

“We’ll figure it out,” he finally said, as sure as he could.

“My dad’s gonna straight up murder you.”

“I know…” he let himself laugh although he was secretly hoping he actually didn’t know that was true. “My mom’s gonna flip.”

“What are we gonna do about college?”

“You can go to college,” Frank said without hesitation.

“I am going to go to college? What about you?”

“I never wanted to go to college. You go, I’ll get a job.”

“Frank…” Jamia said in an earnest tone. “Don’t be ridiculous. You do great at school, you’re about to get a scholarship to get into Rutgers!”

“I do that for my mom. I don’t want to go to college, you know that. I want to be in a band. If I go to college I won’t do that either so I might as well do something useful and raise our baby while you go to college.”

Frank didn’t hear anything from Jamia but a click from the door, and it finally opened. He stood up to face his girlfriend, who, he could tell from the redness in her eyes, had been crying.

“You’re serious,” Jamia said, not asking but as a statement because she realized Frank wasn’t just throwing ideas in the air. He was more serious than ever. More serious than that time he decided to be a vegetarian or a musician. Those were the only two choices Jamia saw him make without hesitation, and she knew they were for life so he was going to do everything to see them through. But now this new choice was against one of those two things and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to take that away from him.

Still, it took a quick look into Frank’s eyes to see what he did as soon as she opened that door. It took only a moment for her to see that Frank wasn’t wrong about this choice. He wasn’t doing her any favors. He wasn’t sacrificing himself for her. Jamia watched Frank turn into a father as soon as that door opened and his first move was to put his hands on her belly and stare at it, as if he could actually see and feel the tiny human inside of her that was part of him. And she felt the instant connection.

“I don’t see what else we could do,” Frank said, still looking at Jamia’s belly.

“There are other options…” Jamia said this and Frank looked up at her, eyes big as the world.

“Oh… I didn’t think… I guess you could…” Frank looked down at his shoes like they could save him. He really didn’t even considered about that option and he didn’t think Jamia would. It did make sense but it wasn’t what he wanted. It really wasn’t.

“I won’t do that to you, Frank.”

“It’s your body. I would never force you to-”

“Frank…” She interrupted him. “I could never take your baby from you.”

“It’s our baby.”

“Look at you Frank. You’re already a dad. I’m not ready to be a mom, but I will love this baby because I love you. I’m just not ready to be its mom. Not the mom it deserves. But you will be the best dad in the world and it deserves you.” Jamia lifted Frank’s chin with a finger and made him look at her. “Do you wanna do this?”

Jamia asked and Frank was sure of his answer, even though he never thought about fatherhood before simply because he was almost 18 years old, he was sure he wanted to do this. Was he scared? Yes, scared to death and absolutely not ready for it but he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do and he was sure he would never ever regret it. He wanted to be the dad of that baby now, that’s what he wanted to do now.

Frank nodded. “I never thought I did, not like this. But I do.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“You just took off! Your mom is worried sick. I looked for you in like six small towns, Frank!”

Gerard couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, just the woman’s voice, but he didn’t think Frank was saying much in between the screams. He was looking at the kitchen arch that connected the hall to the door, but the door was out of sight around the corner so he couldn’t see anything. He looked down and saw that Lily had dropped her book and was clinging to the fabric of his jeans, and Cherry was looking up at him like she was expecting some sort of explanation.

He shrugged and pulled Lily closer to him, then whispered, “It’s okay, everything’s fine.”

“I can’t believe you did this Frank, I really can’t…” At the door, Jamia was still screaming at Frank while he was looking down, feeling a bit ashamed because he knew Jamia was right and it was an ass move of him to leave without telling anyone, but if he had, he wouldn’t have been able to leave.

“Whose house is this anyway?” she asked, looking around like she had only just noticed where she was. “Are you a squatter? Please don’t say yes.” She looked back at him then away again, frustrated, her eyes couldn’t fix still at one point. “You have to call your mom right now. And get the fuck back while you’re at it.”

“I’m not coming back, Jamia,” Frank finally said, and it was the first full sentence he managed to form since Jamia rang the bell at the house.

“Are you insane, is that it? Please, tell me, did you lose your fucking mind? What are you gonna do here alone? You have two babies. Cherry counts as five at least.”

“I’ll manage,” Frank shrugged and Jamia saw red out of fury.

“I really want to punch you in the face right now.”

“I know,” Frank chuckled. “I can’t believe you haven’t already.”

“Don’t get funny on me, Iero!” Jamia pointed a finger at his face and Frank backed down a little.

“I’m not, I really can’t believe it.”

She sighed and changed her tone to one a little bit more preoccupied than angry, “What are you gonna do when you get sick during the winter?”

“I won’t get sick.”

“Yes, you will, it’s your thing.”

“I’ll figure it out…” He made a pause and looked up at her in a voice that said this was just as hard for him as it was for her. “Jamia, I can’t come back. I can’t do this to my mom.”

“Are you kidding me right now, Frank?” Jamia went back to her exasperated tone again. “She’s going to die from worry.”

“No, she won’t. She knows I can manage by myself but she can’t stand this, Jamia. I saw her every day, the look in her eyes like I was throwing all this potential on the trash. And I know she loves the girls but she would look at them like it was their fault her son was good for nothing now. I can’t stand that,” Frank’s voice broke a little. He hadn’t talked about this with anybody until that moment and as much as it was killing him, it also felt good to get it off his chest. “I love my mom, you know I do, but if I stayed we would’ve ended up hating and resenting each other. It wasn’t right.”

Jamia took a long look at Frank as he paused. She nodded, because she knew he wasn’t wrong and knew there was no way she could convince him to go back home.

“I hate you,” she finally said.

“I know you do. I can take that. I can take everyone hating me, but I can’t take everyone blaming them for everything, I can’t. They are my babies, my little girls and they didn’t ask to be born, but still, we brought them to this stupid fucking world which is shit as it is, and that’s my responsibility. I can’t make them endure that too. It wasn’t their fault, it was mine, let them hate me.”

Jamia made a sound of frustration again and punched Frank in the shoulder, and then hugged him tight to her chest. Frank hugged her back. Jamia only stepped back when she saw someone with one of her babies coming out from behind the wall.

“Umm… there’s a guy in the house you’re usurping,” she stated as she let go of Frank.

Frank turned around and saw Gerard holding Cherry In his arms, who was clinging to the collar of his t-shirt tightly, looking a little scared.

“I didn’t hear screams for a while, I was afraid you might have killed each other. Lily was too scared to come out,” he looked to his side at the kitchen where Lily was, just a few steps away.

“Oh baby…” Frank said, and rushed back to the kitchen to pick her up.

“Hey, Cherry!” Jamia said sweetly, and Cherry loosened up and threw her arms towards her. “I missed you, my little punk baby.” She said grabbing her and kissing her cheek.

Frank joined them now, with Lily in his arms, who was hiding her face in his neck and hugging him tightly. “It’s okay, it’s just mom.” He told her, she turned around to peek, but went back to hide in Frank’s neck again.

Gerard was standing there in front of them, all uncomfortable with his hands in his pockets, until Frank suddenly remembered he was there.

“I’m so sorry!” he said guiltily. “Jamia, this is Gerard. He runs a diner in town and he’s been helping me since I got here, we became friends instantly. He’s kind of amazing.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gerard said and saw that Jamia squinted her eyes at him.

“He even bought a couple of baby chairs for the diner for the girls; that was really cool,” Frank added so Jamia would ease up on Gerard.

Gerard turned all kinds of crimson when Frank said that, because he was hoping it wasn’t too obvious it was especially for the twins that he bought those chairs, so he couldn’t look up, he just shrugged. “It was nothing.”

Jamia was looking at him intensely like she was trying to figure him out and she kind of did when she noticed how brightly red he turned as Frank talked about him. She was picking up at something not even Gerard was aware of and even less so than Frank.

“Oh…” She said, almost to herself, but out loud.

“Oh?” Gerard looked up confused.

“Oh?” Frank also asked and turned to her.

“Nice to meet you, Gerard,” she said quickly, to divert their wondering looks. “It’s good to know he’s not all alone out here.” Jamia offered her hand for a handshake, and Gerard took it.

“I should probably go and leave you two alone,” Gerard said.

“Don’t leave on my account. I’m probably the one who should go anyways, I have to head back. And tell Linda you’re alive,” Jamia said and shot a murderous look at Frank. “Do you wanna…?” Jamia offered Cherry to Gerard.

“Sure…” he said and grabbed Cherry back from her. Jamia kissed her head and then Lily’s, who was in Frank’s arms.

“I’ll be back, Iero, you better be all alive. And for God’s sake, call your mother. I’ll talk to her, but please call her.”

“I will, I promise.” Frank said, rocking Lily who was about to fall asleep, unlike Cherry whose eyes were opened big and she was paying attention to everything that was happening around her.

“Again, nice to meet you, Gerard,” Jamia offered a smile at him and then turned to Frank and put a small kiss on his lips. “Call me, keep me informed, please. I know I said I wasn’t ready, but I still worry, okay?”

“I know,” Frank nodded. “I’m sorry I freaked you out.”

“It’s fine. For now. Next time you won’t find your balls.”

Frank nodded at her and Jamia waved, leaving out the door. Frank closed it behind her and sighed deeply. “Well… that was mom.”

“I figured, yeah,” Gerard looked at Frank while playing with Cherry’s hand. Frank was distracted, still rocking Lily, not looking anywhere in particular. “Are you okay?”

Frank turned his eyes back at Gerard and suddenly felt relieved that he was there and he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t good at being alone when he was feeling like shit, like right at that moment. He sighed once again like no air could stay inside his lungs for long.

“Not at all,” he finally said.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“Not really. I mean, unless you want to leave. This must have been fucking awkward for you, I’m such an asshole.”

“You’re not and I can stay. Isn’t pizza on the way? I could totally eat.”

“Yeah, it is. I almost forgot,” Frank pointed with his head to the kitchen, signaling Gerard to follow him as he walked back to the kitchen. He went over to the room next to the kitchen and put Lily down in her cradle.

“I just noticed you’ve been carrying Cherry since you arrived. You don’t have to do that, really,” he said coming out of the room.

“I really like her,” Gerard smiled at Cherry who was still playing with his hand, completely mesmerized. “I don’t mind. I’m not doing it because I feel obligated.”

“You’re really great, you know?” Frank walked past Gerard and went on to grab some dishes and paper towels.

Gerard just shook his head with a shy smile; he wasn’t very good at compliments. He still had a million questions which the conversation between Jamia and Frank didn’t answer but he didn’t want to make Frank go back to that again.

Instead, he opted to just change the subject altogether to something lighter to entertain Frank with stupid rants about how much he loved this or that comic book artist and style. Frank seemed to be enjoying that and he let go of what happened earlier, little by little.

The pizza came and went, and the time went by quickly. It got pretty late really soon, and Cherry had fallen asleep on Gerard’s shoulder. He could see Frank was also very tired so he decided to call it a night.

“I had a great time,” He finally said at the door, after putting Cherry down next to Lily. “Maybe you could come hang out with me and Ray some time?”

“I don’t think I can go to too many places with two babies, but you are both welcome to come here anytime you want.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out,” Gerard smiled and waved, and as he was about to turn to leave he turned back again to look at Frank. “Hey, Frank, don’t work yourself up about it too much, okay? You did what you thought was best, and I think that’s fucking brave.”

Frank’s eyes filled with tears that he was saving for probably crying himself to sleep that night, but he couldn’t hold them back any longer. He took two steps forward and hesitated a second, then hugged Gerard, almost throwing himself at him, resting his face on his chest for a second. It had been a very long time since someone said anything remotely encouraging to him, and Gerard didn’t make him feel like he was making one mistake after another, judging every decision he made. Gerard made him feel quite the opposite.

Gerard, on the other hand, kind of froze for a second there, because he wasn’t used to spontaneous shows of affection. He wasn’t like that with almost anyone he knew, so it kind of shook him, but he quickly responded and hugged him back, rubbing Frank’s back.

Frank stepped back again pulling himself together, or a little bit anyway. “I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.” He rubbed his eyes.

“No need to apologize,” Gerard smiled at him. “Will you be okay?”

Frank took a deep breath. “Yeah… I think I will.”

Notes

Happy new year you guys!!
Hope you liked this one, I cry half way through writing it.