Don't say I'm better off dead

Gerard felt surprisingly full after Mikey had managed to scrape together some stale bread and old noodles for tea. His head was still throbbing a little bit from the fall and he could feel it shaking his skull. A light bulb swung above his head, the only source of light that would keep him awake and stop him from drifting off. His eyes began droop as he sat in the corner.
'No! Stay awake' his mind shouted to him and his eyes snapped back open. He looked at Mikey, all snug and warm in his bed. Fast asleep without a care in the world or so it seemed. 'It must be late now' he thought to himself. He watched as his younger brother began to stir before his eyes creeped open. He sat up and looked to his side knowing that Gee should be there, except he wasn't, he was hiding in the corner.
"Hey, Gee, go to bed. " he murmured.
"Um, I'd rather stay here thanks" Gerard whispered back, forcing his eyes to stay open.
"Come on. Please. Just go to bed and turn that light off."
"Don't you understand Mikey? I can't. I can't face my own thoughts. They scare me Mikey, they honestly do. But if I'm awake then they can't get me can they? If my eyes are open then I'm fine. "
"But this isn't the way forward Gerard. You will have to sleep sometime, you can't go forever without sleeping, I think you'd like die or something. And if they do come for you, I mean the nightmares and hallucinations and the paralysis then know that I'm here okay. You know that if I see you struggling then I will help all you have to do is tell me."
"That's the thing though. I can't tell you. When I'm trapped in my thoughts I'm helpless and if you ever find me struggling then I've probably already succumbed to the pressure. You can't help, nobody can... I'm all alone" Gerard said, hugging his knees.
Mikey got out of bed and tiptoed towards Gerard, he sat next to him pulling his knees up to his chest and putting his arm around him.
"I'll always be here for you and you can......"
The front door squeaked open as they returned. Gerard and Mikey heard the stumbling, the shouting, the crying and scrambled up from the corner racing to their beds. They quickly turned out the light and lay motionless, breathing slowly with their eyes closed. Just in time. Their dad burst through the door, with no respect that they might be asleep. He moved towards them, breathing heavily so that Mikey could smell the alcohol on his breath which was leaking out of his mouth.
"Hmmm, seems like the little sh*tbags are asleep!" He called downstairs, slamming the door as he left to just have one more glass.
The younger brother breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god he was gone. He didn't notice that Gerard's eyes were still closed.

Notes