Don't say I'm better off dead

Gerard woke. A hole in his heart. He saw Mikey leaning over him as they lay on the pavement outside the house that they had just visited. They were alone. He tried to sit up but couldn't as the pain in his chest was too much. He felt numb. He couldn't feel anything. Frank was gone. And he wasn't coming back. Gerard didn't know what to do. Should he cry? He shouldn't just lay there and do nothing. That would be wrong. But the fact that Frank had ended it all was wrong too. The fact that he had had such awful, careless and abusive parents was wrong. He hadn't saved him and that was wrong. Everything was wrong. The world was wrong.

Frank had been his best friend. No, wait. Frank was his best friend. Frank was still there, wasn't he? He was still with him and he always would be. Frank would never leave.
But why would he do that to himself? Why would he just end it all like that? Gerard's mind began to wonder as he struggled to take in air, he gasped as his head began to twitch. What would drive him to do that? Were all those scars and bruises made by his parents? Or where some of them not made them? Could some of them have been made by himse..... He shook his head. No, Frank would have told him.

He looked to Mikey. He was crying too. His eyes were sad. He hated to see his brother sad like this. But he couldn't make him feel any better, because he felt even worse.
After about 15 minutes Mikey stood up. He brushed the dirt of his trousers offering Gerard a shaking hand. Gerard shook his head.
"Gee, we got to go home now. We can't stay here forever."
Gerard didn't say anything he just stood up and walked off down Cemetery drive the way that they had come. He didn't turn around. He didn't look back. He didn't want to. He just kept going. Marching on. Mikey ran to catch him up.
"We won't forget him, Gee. I promise. His parents might have. But we won't. We won't ever forget him!"
Gerard didn't reply. He didn't think that he could form the words in his mouth and spit them out. He just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to curl up in a corner by himself. He just wanted to be with Frank. Whatever that would take.

Eventually they reached their own street and headed to the door. Gerard pushed open the door with Mikey following behind and he tried to make his way up the stairs to their bedroom. But something was in his way. And that thing didn't care that he'd just found out that his best friend had just killed himself. He couldn't care less about that. But he cared that they were late.....
"YOU LITTLE WORTHLESS PIECES OF CRAP ARE LATE AGAIN!!!" His dad shouted, pushing Gerard back into Mikey.
"I know." Gerard replied regaining his balance.
"WHERE WERE YOU?!!" His dad asked whilst glaring into Gerard's eyes.
"Not here."
He grabbed Gerard's collar and threw him against the wall.
"Dad stop!" Cried Mikey trying to grab hold of his dad's fists.
"Get off you little SH*T!" He shouted throwing Mikey onto the floor. He held Gerard against the wall, he tried to break free by kicking and screaming and trying to move his arms; but nothing would release his dad's menacing grip.
"Okay, okay!" Gerard cried feeling the blood beginning to run down the side of his head. He started to feel dizzy as he faded in and out of consciousness. "We were at a friends house!"
"YOU'RE LYING!" He replied pushing him further into the wall.
"No dad. I promise I'm telling the truth! Forgive us dad! Please!" He whined.
"And why should I believe YOU?!"
"B-b-because...." He trailed off as he felt the punches hit his chest. Gerard's body shook with every single fist that hit his flimsy frame. He felt like he was going to throw up and he felt food and blood churning in his stomach. As he tried to take more air in his chest tightened but he could fee his heart thudding violently against his ribs; and then his head dropped down to his chest.
"We were dad! We were!" Mikey cried running over desperately. He threw himself in front of Gerard, wanting to help stop the pain, if only, for a minute.

His dad kicked Mikey to the floor again. Now he moved onto the head, listening for the crack of the nose and watching as Gerard's skin turned blue. He tasted blood in his mouth, the metallic taste rolling around his tongue. His mouth overfilled with the stuff and it rolled down his chin.
The drunken dad slammed his fist down on Gerard's arm.
"G-g-get off!!!" Yelled Mikey one last time, crouched on the floor. He swept his arms underneath his dads legs, watching as he crashed to the floor. His dad lay there. Nothing moving apart from the rise and fall of his chest. Mikey grabbed Gerard's hand and dragged him upstairs to their bedroom. He slammed the door shut behind him and locked it. He felt the tension in his stomach and sunk down to the floor......

Notes

So...yeah. Life's not going the best for Gerard. Thank you all for reading this fanfic! :) xxx