Don't say I'm better off dead

Gerard and Mikey set off to visit Frank as soon as the bell had rung. Gerard wasn't taking either of his parents. They wouldn't care about his friend. They probably wouldn't even let him go...but that was if they found out that they went. And Gerard hoped that they wouldn't. He was nervous as him and Mikey turned the opposite direction when they reached the school gates. He hadn't been in this area much but he knew enough to be able to find Frank's house, he just hoped that it wasn't like the house that was in his dreams the night before.
"You okay?" asked Mikey as they took a left hand turn off the main road. They would be there in a minute.
"Yeah. I'm okay, thanks. Just a bit worried about Frank. I mean, what if he isn't okay? What if he isn't there?"
"He will be." Mikey sighed, "Frank will be there."
They turned left onto Cemetery drive and counted the door numbers. One, three, five, seven, nine, eleven and then there it was. Number 13. Gerard looked to the scrap of paper and then up to the house again. Back and forth checking that this was the right house. It was.
Thankfully, it didn't look like what Gerard had imagined in his dream. It was a small bungalow with a messy overgrown garden. But no windows were bordered up and no shouting could be heard inside. Was this definitely the right house? He checked once more. Yes. This was it.
Him and Mikey walked up the path and to the side door after squeezing past an old rusting Mini.
"Don't be scared Gee. I'm here" said Mikey checking the time.
Gerard took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
There was no reply. He expected Frank to come running down the stairs, rip open the door and jump on him, saying how much he missed him. But that didn't happen.
He knocked again waiting for a reply.
They waited a minute. Two minutes. No reply.
"They must've gone out Gee, let's go. We'll come back another day." Mikey said tugging at Gerard's arm.
"No!" he cried and he knocked once more.

A woman appeared at the door. She opened it forcefully allowing the ash from her cigarette to spill on to their shoes. Underneath a yellow-stained dressing gown she wore a pair of rough pyjamas. Her hair was in a messy bun so that the brothers could see the lines and wrinkles of her face. As she talked her cigarette moved around her mouth.

"What da you want?" She asked, looking down on the boys. Her voice was coarse and definitely not friendly.
"Um. Hello Ma'm" Gerard began, "Um, m-my names Gerard and t-this is my brother Mikey and I-I'm Frank's friend a-and I wondered how he was doing 'c-cause he was unwell. And I wondered if we could, um, could come and see him...." Gerard trailed off.
"You hear that!" she yelled, turning her head away from the boys and back into the house, "Frank had a Friend!"
A deeper voice laughed. That must be his dad, thought Gerard.
"Frank had Friends?!" He laughed, "No way did he have friends!"
"Well, they're here at the door" She replied. The man laughed some more.
"Well do they know?" He asked turning the TV up and munching on some Doritos.

The women turned back to the boys.
"Please can we come see him Ma'm. We won't be long and I promise that we won't cause you any trouble. We just want to know that he's okay and when he'll be coming back to school." Mikey said, looking into the women's stern eyes.
"Oh, Frank won't be coming back to school." She said. A small smile creeping onto her face.
"What? Why? Will we still get to see him, though?" Gerard asked, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. But he wasn't going to cry. Not in front of her.

"You won't be seeing Frank again, boys." she said. Mikey's mouth dropped open.
"W-W-Why?" he spluttered.
"Because he's f*cking DEAD!" his dad cried out from the living room, "Killed himself 'cause he couldn't take it anymore. Ended it all like a wimp. Found him yesterday all strung up with slits in his wrists. HE'S GONE BOYS!!! AND HE AIN'T COMING BACK!!!"

Gerard felt the world swim in front of his eyes. The darkness crept in from the sides and he blacked out.....

Notes