Don't say I'm better off dead

Gerard lay paralyzed. Unable to move. Unable to speak. His shrieks turned into whispers. His hands gripped the flimsy camp bed. When would it end? This happened all the time and then all the teachers would wonder why he would turn up to school with dark circles around his eyes, barely awake. But it was because of this. It was all the fault of his own mind. His own mind making up things to scare him until he would hold his breath pleading for it to stop, for him to just wake up because even the hell that he lived in wasn't as bad as the things his brain created.
He felt his heart beat stronger as it shook his ribcage and rattled to his mind. The pressure on his chest increased now squeezing every last breath from him like a kid wrangling a toothpaste tube, squeezing every last drop of life out of him. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, he couldn't call for help.
"Mikey!!! Please, Get me out of this!" He screamed, but it only escaped his mouth as a whisper. He knew MIkey was at his side in the other camp bed probably fast asleep but he couldn't turn his head to look. He screamed one last time:
"Make it end!"

He woke, his forehead dripping with sweat, his hands shaking, his consciousness slowly gaining control over him. He looked to his side and there was his brother who was calmly asleep, his breathing quiet and constant. Gerard immediately got up and walked to the clock to check the time, 5:49 AM. It was early, but this was the usual.
He walked to the mirror and peered at his own reflection in the dim light, tracing his bruises and dark circles with his finger and paying close attention to the redness that crept around his tired eyes. His hair was a mess, he was a mess. BUt his hair wasn't the much of a problem compared to his others.

He woke MIKey, gently shaking him until his eyes slowly peered open. As soon as MIkey saw him he knew that it had happened again, he reached forward pulling him into a hug, reassuring him that these things weren't real, that they weren't going to hurt him. Gerard knew this but still the images and the feelings rose back to him causing him to start crying. The tears streamed down his face but he tried to ignore them, hiding his face from MIkey.
THey both changed into their school clothes, their rugged 'hand me downs' that drowned Gerard's flimsy frame and set off to school. Yes it was early and they'd have to wait around a bit but it was better than staying at home.... anything was better than staying at home.

Notes

hi, so this is the first chapter. Hope its okay. :) Thank you for reading.