Surrender The Night (Frerard)

Gerard didn't know exactly what he was doing, lying in his bathtub at eight in the evening reeking of alcohol when he should have been downstairs marking papers. He didn't remember, but it wasn't hard to guess. He'd come home from work - sad, because his Frankie had to go straight home - and got hammered straight away. He'd somehow ended up in the bathroom, in the bathtub - probably having gone in there to throw up and tripped over his own feet - having forgotten all about the papers lying abandoned on his kitchen table and the fact that his annoying little brother was supposed to be visiting him tonight.

It also wasn't hard to guess whose fist was angrily thumping at his bathroom door and making his skull feel like it was being squashed underneath a fucking house. Somehow, somehow, he'd managed to lock the door in his drunken stupor and was therefore protected from Mikey's judgemental glare.

"Hold on!" Gerard yelled grouchily, and sighing in relief when the rhythmic banging sound ceased altogether. It didn't stop the painful thumping inside his head, but Gerard thought that had more to do with him downing a six pack of beer, half a bottle of wine and a glass of rum and Coke in the space of three hours than his brother's insistency to enter the room. It was a wonder he hadn't developed liver problems by now - or maybe he had and he just didn't know.

Maybe that was why he felt so bad all the time.

Well, almost all the time. Whenever he was with Frank he felt marginally better. It had been the same with his last boyfriend, and the girlfriend before that, and before her it was Bert. Whenever Gerard developed feelings for a person - whether those feelings were love, lust or infatuation - he liked to cling onto them and never let go. If a person distracted him from his otherwise empty life then the man never wanted to let them go. That was Gerard's problem.

Somehow, somehow, somehow, Gerard pulled himself to his feet and gripped onto the edge of the bath for dear life. The room swayed dangerously and the effects of the alcohol had obviously not worn off yet - he could hear Mikey yelling but his words were unintelligible: slow and slurred and amusing to listen to. Gerard giggled through the throbbing pain in his temples and lurched towards the door, just barely able to unlock it and swing it open without smashing himself in the face with it before he collapsed to the floor. Thankfully Mikey was there to catch him, and instead of hitting the cold tiles of his bathroom like he was expecting to, they both fell back onto the landing and Gerard's fall was cushioned by his baby brother.

"Ow! Motherfucker, get off!" Mikey screeched, wriggling around in the hopes of kicking Gerard's limp body off his own. "Get off me! Off!"

Gerard groaned and struggled to pull himself into a sitting position, despite all his senses telling him to remain where he was; Mikey was comfortable, Mikey was warm, Mikey loved him. Those traits were hard to find and even harder to keep.

When Mikey was free to shuffle out from underneath his brother, he sighed deeply and rested his head in his hands, his legs crossed as Gerard slouched against the nearest wall which happened to be opposite Mikey. They sat in silence for a while, Mikey thinking too concentratedly to speak and Gerard too smashed to form a sentence, before the older of the two giggled quietly, breaking the spell of silence.

"Gerard," Mikey said lowly, not bothering to ask why he was laughing or what he could possibly find so damn funny right now, but his brother was known to be a happy drunk and happy was much, much better than depressed. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Gerard just frowned at him, shook his head and started giggling again. He looked as if he was trying to keep his laughs under control but that just made it more noticeable when his shoulders started shaking.

"I thought you were over this, Gee." Mikey said sadly and something in his tone must have registered with Gerard, because he stopped laughing almost immediately.

"Mikey? Why are you sad?" He asked plaintively, rather like a small child that didn't understand why their parent was upset but wanting to cheer them up all the same. Gerard knew there wasn't much he could do to make Mikey happier right now, especially if he had been the one to upset him in the first place, but he couldn't stand to see his baby brother miserable.
God, what had he been thinking? Why had he gotten drunk on a school night? Why did he persist in doing this when he knew it just hurt the people he cared about, not to mention himself! Imagine if Frank found out! The boy would realise he shouldn't be seeing someone like Gerard! Frank would see how pathetic and weak he was; would see how easily he gave into temptation, and realise that he deserved so much better than a dumb, alcoholic, screw up. God, he was such a fucking screw up!

But in the other hand... his life was hard right now. He was battling his morals and his feelings, his emotions and what he knew to be right and wrong. He'd just wanted a drink! He'd just got carried away!- his little brother knew how hard it was to stop when you get started so he should understand! Gerard deserved a little understanding, at least.

"Gerard?" Mikey asked again, and continued when he only received a hum in response. "I don't like the plan."

It took a while for Gerard to remember what the hell Mikey was talking about, and when he did he groaned. Why did he have to bring that up now? If there was one time Gerard could have done with not feeling guilty, it was now.

"The plan is the plan." He said, his earlier good mood dissipating - although God only knew how he'd managed to feel happy after he'd fallen into his fucking bathtub! "We can't change it
now."

"We could." He argued weakly, sounding like he didn't even believe himself.

"No."

"We could!"

"No!" Gerard yelled, anger clouding his already irrational mind. "No! We've been through this. It works fine! The plan is fine and we can't change it now! Do you understand?!"

"Gerard -"

"Do. You. Understand?" The man enunciated each word with a precise coldness that Mikey hadn't seen since Bert left. It scared him. It fucking terrified him.
It was quiet for a long time before Mikey worked up the courage to speak. He was regretting coming over at all, but he knew if he hadn't Gerard would probably have slipped in the bath and cracked his head open on the hard, unforgiving bathroom floor. He'd probably have died by now...

"You're going to hurt him." Mikey whispered sadly.

"It was never my intention to hurt him." Gerard said bitterly in that all-too-familiar 'Gerard' way that he always used when they were kids. It was his way of apologising without ever actually apologising. He would trick whoever he was speaking with into thinking he'd apologised, but then they would realise too late that he never had. It was smart, and sneaky and a totally Gerard thing to do, and Mikey hated him for it.

"Well you're going to hurt him anyway." Mikey snapped, irritatedly. "Whether it's your intention or not, you're going to hurt him. He's just a kid, Gerard. Why couldn't you have picked someone a little older, a little more stable, to fuck with, huh?"

That got to him, of all things. At that, he started to look guilty, biting the inside of his cheek and casting his eyes down to the ground. Mikey wondered how long he would have to stay before the alcohol wore off and his brother would no longer be a danger to himself.

"I'm not- Mikey, I'm not just doing this to... to fuck with him. I'm not trying to hurt him. I'm not doing this just to fulfil some sick, perverted desires with a little kid if that's what you mean. I like Frank. I've liked him for a long time, a-and I know that makes me sound disgusting but that proves I'm not trying to hurt him!"

Mikey chose to stay silent, knowing that not answering would be worse to Gerard than hearing something he didn't want to hear. He was right, and the man started sounding desperate.

"Mikey, you know I'm not a bad person, right?! You know I wouldn't deliberately hurt someone like - like that, right?!"

It was too much for Mikey to bear; he couldn't just sit there and listen to his brother tear himself apart with guilt and desperation for affection. He had to step in and assure Gerard that no, he wasn't a bad person and yes, Mikey knew he'd never deliberately hurt someone like that. He had to comfort him, even if that meant lying to him.

"Yes Gerard! I know that, okay? You're not a bad person. Besides, if... if the plan goes well, Frank won't even get hurt. Right? That's how it's supposed to go, right?"
Gerard nodded quickly, eager to agree that he was not, in fact, a terrible person for seducing and fucking and hurting one of his students.

"Good." Mikey sighed, crawling over to his brother and wrapping a hand around his shoulders. They stayed like that until Mikey really had to go home. At first he was worried about his brother, panicking about what might happen if he left him on his own when he was still drunk, but when he heard a ping from Gerard's phone - and knew immidiately that it was Frank - he felt calmed. Fuck the plan, he thought. He knew Gerard liked Frank more than he was letting on, and that was most definitely a good thing, for everyone involved.

Except maybe Daniel.

***

Frank: Hey you there?

Gerard: yeah heyyyy Babe!!!!

Frank: hey...

Gerard: hi there

Frank: Are you okay?

Gerard: im fabulousss my dead

Gerard: *dear

Gerard: fuck im so fckin drink

Gerard: DRUNK damn

Frank: Really? On a Monday?

Gerard: hey!! monday is as goood a day as any!!

Frank: How much did you even drink? Are you okay?

Gerard: yeah baby I'm finnee.

Frank: If you can't spell 'fine' then you're not fine.

Gerard: Frankie!!! :(

Gerard: dont be meen!

Gerard: *mean. See I can spell!

Gerard: r u proud of me??

Frank: Yes, very proud. -_-

Gerard: baby!!' You shud take your clothes off!!

Gerard: you shud send me pics!!

Frank: No. You should go to bed and get some sleep.

Gerard: why nottt?? I won't show anyone!!

Frank: Honey, you're amazing and I like you a lot, but I'm not sending you naked pictures when you're drunk.

Gerard: but..but..I won't show anyone!! I'd be the only one to use them!!

Frank: ...

Frank: Okay I'm going now. Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow.xx

Gerard: frankieee!! Don't leave meeee! :'(

Gerard: goodnight baby x

Notes

Sorry if it got confusing at the end. That was just me doing some weird texty thing...
Please go read my new fic Runaways on AO3 (FantasySwap). You might like it! *wink wink*
Enjoy! <3