I Can't Choose

Gigi's POV-

I wake up to my alarm, blasting misfits.

First day of school for senior year..... Fuck one more year.

I drag myself out of bed, and decide what to wear.
I get that horrible feeling that something doesn't feel right about my body....
Fuck body dysphoria is a bitch :/

I walk over to the mirror, shave my face, and start putting heaps of foundation on, winged eyeliner, black and white smokey eye shadow, mascara, contour, blush etc as well as black lipstick.

Next, for my hair I brush it over to the side, and add in my long red extensions, to match my fiery red hair.
I tease my hair and hairspray it, and make the extensions look natural and bled in with my real hair.

I then put on way too small boxers, and try to conceal down there as much as possible to make it look like nothing is there, and then I put on my black ripped skinny jeans. I get a padded bra out of my drawer and put it on, then putting on a Motley Crüe tank top shirt, as well as a cute leather jacket over the top. Lastly, I put on my black combat boots with a slight heel, but not unbearable.

I glance at myself in the mirror, adding a bit of perfume, and then look satisfied with my appearance, and grab my bag, plugging my earphones in, and go downstairs.

I tip toe past my mom, who is half naked, sleeping on the couch, and James (her boyfriend) is no where to be seen thank god.

I wait for the bus, messing with my phone, and once I get to school I get really self conscious.
I feel like everyone knows that I don't fit it with the other girls....

I sigh, and try to ignore that and look for my friend Ray.
As I'm looking for him, a crowd tramples over me, and i tense up and start shaking, shutting my eyes.

"Gerar-Gigi? Hey! It's okay, I got ya" I think I hear Ray say, and he gently takes my shoulder and rescues me from the crowd.
"You okay?" He asks, as I open my eyes, sighing in relief that I'm out of there.
I nod, "how was your break?" I ask.
He shrugs, "boring as usual, better than school though, what about you?"
Now it was my turn to shrug, "same"
He nods, "well, I have to go to class, see you at recess?"
I nod, "as always"
"Love your outfit today, pretty as always Gi"
I smile, and look down, "thanks Ray. Cya later"
He waves, and we part.

Just one more year... Then this will be over...

Notes

Hey guys, I know I'm sorry for taking so long :/ you deserve an explanation... I just really haven't been going okay lately tbh, I attempted suicide.... I know, I completely regret it I can't believe I tried to etc etc but I didn't succeed obviously, so I'm here with a fresh new fic to apologise... I'm still going to be writing my other ones too it's just going to take a long time and I feel so fucking bad about it but I just haven't been motivated to do anything, I'm a piece of shit lol I'm not surprised if none of you read any of my stuff anymore, but thanks to the people that do.