Stay

I’m doing my afternoon leg lifts the next day when I hear a knock on the door. Jamia always barges in without knocking so it must be a nurse. Or Gerard. I tense and put my legs down. “Yeah?” I call, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Hey Frank, can I come in?” a male voice responds politely, but I sigh in relief because it’s not Gerard.

“Sure,” I say to the nurse.

The blonde teenager with glasses who opens the door is definitely not one of the staff, unless he’s the resident Doogie Howser, but even then he’s wearing ripped jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt rather than the usual nurse’s garb so I doubt it. He gives me a wary grin and steps into the room to drop a bag of Taco Bell on my lap. I raise my eyebrows. “Um, thanks?” I tell him awkwardly.

“Gerard had me bring this in for you,” he informs me cheekily.

I stiffen at the mention of Gerard. “What are you, his steward?” I say, realizing as I say it that I’ve completely mislabelled the position of steward.

The boy gives me a weird look but is kind enough not to mention my slip-up. “No, I’m his brother,” he contradicts, semi-condescendingly.

My mouth falls open just a little. “Gerard has a brother?” It seems like every conversation I have just incurs more questions about the black-haired bully.

“Yeah,” he says, like this should have been obvious, “me. I’m Mikey.”

“Hi,” I reply uncertainly, looking him up and down, trying to spot the similarities between him and Gerard. Mikey is far more gangly. He looks like the farthest thing from a bully, and I’m having a hard time reconciling their relation.

“So, uh,” Mikey begins haltingly, glancing around the room, “sorry, but Gerard wanted me to make sure you’re okay and that you’re eating, so, I guess, I’ll just…wait.” His eyes land on the chair by the door and he immediately slumps into it.

“He wants you to watch me eat?” I repeat incredulously. My emotions begin warring between furious and flattered. I’m definitely just furious.

Mikey shrugs, picking at his nails and avoiding my inquisitive gaze. “Yup,” he confirms, popping the ‘p’.

Maybe it’s poisoned, and he sent his brother to make sure the job gets done. But that sounds ridiculous even to me, after all the times now that Gerard has stopped me from dying, so I just open the bag grumpily and pull out a couple of tacos.

When I unwrap the first one, the aroma of cheap Mexican food fills the hospital room and my mouth starts to water. Just as I’m about to take my first bite, Mikey’s stomach growls loudly, and I roll my eyes as he pretends to be fascinated by his left hand. “Here,” I grumble, tossing the second taco at him and smirking when he startles and almost drops it.

Mikey smiles impishly. “Thanks. Uh, please don’t tell Gerard.”

I snort, because that implies I’ll ever even talk to Gerard. “I’ll take it to my grave,” I vow solemnly.

“And after that?” Mikey presses, just as serious.

Trying not to grin too widely—because this is Gerard’s brother after all—I tell him, “Sorry, can’t make any promises then.”

Mikey nods approvingly, suppressing his own smile, and commends, “Good answer.”

I do laugh now, as we both enjoy our tacos, and I let my guard down so much that by the time we finish eating, I chuckle, “Man, you’re not nearly as bad as your brother.”

Mikey, who has been laughing too, sobers immediately. Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.

He stands and gathers the trash, looking thoughtful. I’m about to take it back when he speaks. “I wanted to thank you about that actually.”

“You what?” Maybe he’s not as sane as I thought.

Mikey shrugs, still standing. “Yeah, I mean, you helped him a lot.” I gape at him so he continues, “Maybe not on purpose, but before he saved you from that woman he was kind of a shit-head, you know?” I nod emphatically because I do know. “Even to his friends, even to me. But I think you gave him the courage he needed to be himself.” Mikey runs a hand through his hair and glances at the door, lowering his voice as if he expects someone to burst in at any moment. “Look, it’s not my place to tell you all his secrets, but let’s just say that the reason he was so distant and angry was because he was afraid to let people know who he really was, and for some reason, seeing you in that much danger really changed his perspective. You know, he just needed a little help to see that it was better to let people in.”

I narrow my eyes at this eerily familiar line of dialogue and the way Mikey keeps raising his eyebrows like that’s a hint. Mikey continues to look at me as if his explanation was subtle.

“So he’s gay, right?” I surmise, and Mikey nearly does a backflip he’s so startled.

“What?” he splutters unconvincingly, “I didn’t—I did not say that—nothing I said was that. Why would you think that anything I just said had any sort of thing to do with that topic? I never said those words—I said nothing like it to you ever—”

“Jeez, calm down, Mikey,” I tell him, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. “He’s a textbook closet case, I get it. Whatever. He still treated me like shit, okay? That doesn’t get him off the hook.”

Mikey takes a deep breath and lets it out in a huff. “You took that well, I guess,” he mumbles, looking pained.

I roll my eyes at his apparent distress, because now I’m starting to get really angry. “Why don’t you tell your brother,” I growl, “to stop buying me food and checking up on me, because I’m sick of his attention. I didn’t want it in school, and I don’t want it now. And, you know what?” I add, my volume rising until I’m shouting. “You can tell Gerard to shove his sorry excuses up his ass because being gay doesn’t give him a free pass to be an asshole! You don’t see me going around making everyone’s lives miserable just because I like boys—”

I cut myself off abruptly as I realize what I’ve admitted. Mikey looks a little bit terrified and a little bit smug. “I’ll go tell him then,” he mutters, and backs out of the room as I sit there speechless.

Did I just come out to Gerard’s brother?

I groan as I think about Gerard finding out his years of speculation were on-point. And I haven’t even told my mom yet.

Notes

Okay there that's a bit longer :) Thanks for the comments, everyone!