×This chapter has a Trigger Warning!×

Frank's POV

Gerard was having a really hard time at the moment.
It was like one minute he was hyperactive and wouldn't shut up, then he would be screaming at everyone to leave him alone and throwing things at everyone, then he would just sit on the floor and zone out and wouldn't move or talk to anyone.
It confused the living hell out of me.
Like one minute he was my friend and the next it was like me being around was hurting him or something.
I noticed that I was feeling less paranoid when Gerard was around, which was really nice because it gave me a break from worrying all the time.

Gerard must be having a good day as he was sat on my bed with me.
"I'm sorry for how I've been the last few weeks. Guess I'm not coping as well as what I thought I would." He said quietly.
"Its fine. I get like it when everything gets too much for me." I said and smiled at him.
He smiled a sad smile in return.
"Let's go outside." I said and got off my bed.
"I thought we weren't trusted to go outside." Gerard said and looked at me.
"That's why we get a nurse, more like Jamie, as he'll let us outside but he has to watch us that's all." I said.
Gerard looked down and sighed.
"If you stay in here you'll drive yourself insane and end up down in the padded cells on your own with no one but yourself. I'm not letting you do that to yourself." I said and sat down next to him.
"Maybe its just for the best." He said quietly.
"This is so against the rules." I muttered and got up and poked my head outside the door to check if there was any nurses which there wasn't and I walked back into the room and went under my bed and felt round until I found one of the many sharpeners I had stolen and crawled back out and went over to my wash bag and got the treasers.

"Frank what you doing?" Gerard asked.
"Shush. Keep an eye out." I said and looked at him.
"Frank. Tell me what you're doing." Gerard said and looked at me.
"You are annoyed with yourself aren't you?" I asked.
Gerard looked down and nodded.
"And you need something to get it out your system?" I said.
"Yeah." Gerard said quietly.
I looked at what I needed to do with the sharpener but I didn't have to do anything so I took the blade out.
"Give me your hand." I said and Gerard gave me his hand.
I put the blade in his hand and closed his hand.
I looked at Gerard and he was looking down at his hand.
"Gee look at me." I said and he looked at me.
"You can't say a word to anyone. Promise me you won't say anything." I said.
"I promise." He said quietly.
"Don't go too deep. Please, I feel bad enough as it is giving you a blade." I said quietly.
"Have it back. I've been clean for nearly 6 months I don't want to break it." He said and put the blade back in my hand.
I looked at him.
"I'm going for a walk. Do you want to come with me?" He said.
I shook my head.
"Don't do anything stupid." He said and got up and walked out the door.

"Don't leave." I whispered and looked at the blade in my hand.
If I cut I would be kissing 4 months clean.
Wish I was just as strong minded as Gerard but I was weak and needed the pain and I needed to see the blood leave my body.
It was more than need I craved the pain and the blood.
I looked at the door and got up and shut it quietly as we weren't allowed to shut our doors.
I went back over to my bed and sat on it and looked at the blade and just started to cut myself.

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Gerard's POV

I had to leave the room before I snatched that blade out his hand and break being 6 months clean.
I was so fucking tempted but I stopped myself, I don't know how but I stopped myself. Whether I can stop myself next time is a different story.

I walked back to mine and Frank room and the door was shut.
Which wasn't allowed as the rules was we weren't allowed to shut our doors unless it was night and we was all in bed.
Something didn't feel right so I opened the door and saw frank slumped on his bed.
"Frank?" I said quietly as I walked over to him.
He didn't respond which wasn't like Frank.
"Frank." I squeaked quietly and sat on his bed and shook him.
He just fell on his side.
I looked at him in horror.
"Oh my god! Frank!" I said loudly and shook him hard.
I looked and saw his arm had 2 deep cuts which was bleeding badly.
"Wake up." I said quietly and gently shook him and sniffed when he didn't wake up.
I didn't know I was cry until I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"Don't die on me please don't die." I said and quickly ran out the room.

I knew I had to look for Jamie.
Trouble was I didn't know which nurse was Jamie.
I ran to the first nurse I got to.
"Jamie?" I panted and looked at him.
"Yeah that's me. Gerard what's wrong?" He said and looked at me.
"F..Frank." I said quietly and got hold of his wrist and dragged him to mine and Franks room.
"Oh shit." Jamie said and ran out the room.
I was confused on what was happening.
Jamie came back with a load of other nurses.
"What's going to happen to Frank." I said and Jamie came over to me and made me sit on my bed.
"Gerard what happened?" Jamie asked seriously.
I made a promise and I wasn't going to break it.
"I don't know. I went for a walk to clear my head and I came back and he was like that." I said and sniffed.
"Gerard we need to know the truth on what has happened. Otherwise Frank can't get better." Jamie said.
"I don't know what happened!" I said loudly and looked at Jamie.
"Its okay." Jamie said quietly.
"Is he going to die?" I sniffed.
"Frank will be fine." Jamie said and got up and walked over to the nurses and they took Frank to the medical ward they had.

I just sat on my bed and watched the nurses came and go to clean the room.
One nurse got the picture what I drew Frank which he put above his bed.
"Put the picture back." I growled at them.
" This is a hazard to him." They said.
"It helps him sleep at night. It helps him feel less paranoid about everything!" I said loudly and walked over and took the picture off them.
" It makes him feel safe." I said.
"Its a hazard to him." The nurse argued.
"Its not! He feels safe with it above his bed. The whole room is safe for him." I said loudly again.
Someone else came into room.
"Gerard calm down." Jamie said.
"Their saying that this is a hazard. But its not, it makes him feel safe. Its the one thing which keeps him safe!" I said and looked at Jamie.
"I know which is why its allowed to stay in the room." Jamie said.
"I told you to only touch the bedding. And to make his bed ready for Frank for the end of the week." Jamie said seriously.
The nurse nodded and got the bedding and walked out.
"You going to be okay Gerard?" Jamie asked.
I nodded and climbed into bed.
"See you at breakfast Gerard. Don't do nothing stupid." Jamie said and shut the door leaving me in the darkness.

Normally me and Frank would just talk until one of us fell asleep and it would be frank most of the time.
I sighed and got comfy and just waited for sleep to come to me.

Notes

oh dear...