The Only Hope For Me Is You

I was drawing for what felt like ten seconds before the bell rang for second lunch. As the first “ding!” went off I looked up and over to Mr. Way. He was staring directly at me. Like, I’m not even sure I could make out a blink. It made me uncomfortable. I tried to shift my focus on something else like the color of the walls, or the font of the words on the posters above Mr. Way’s desk, but no matter how hard I tried my focus always ended up shifting back to Mr. Way.
It wasn’t until the first student walked in that Mr. Way’s eyes moved to another direction. I didn’t realize that I was holding my breath until I let out a big breath of air when Mr. Way stopped staring. My lungs probably hated me right now. I put my drawings that I was working on before the bell rang, away and sat rather impatiently while the students started migrating over to their seats. Mr. Way cut in over the voices of every-one. “Choose whatever seats you would like today and it can be yours for the trimester.”I heard some kids squeal at the new information.
It was loud in here, almost too loud. The temptation to pull out my music and lose myself in it is getting stronger every time another student walks into class. Eventually the bell rings again and all the students are in their chosen seats. No one chose to take the seat to my right, or in front of me. It didn’t surprise me, but it did make me happy.
“Alrighty! Let’s get started here.” Mr. Way sort of shouts. Everyone’s attention snaps in his direction, especially mine. For some reason every move he made, every word he spoke, it was the most beautiful thing to me. I could see his mouth moving and I knew he was talking but I wasn’t actually listening or comprehending.I watch as he slowly walks over to the front of his desk and takes a seat on the top of it. He continues talking. Nothing really happens for, like, fifteen minutes. A student will raise his/her hand every now and then to ask the occasional question referring to whatever Mr. Way was talking about up front.I don’t know what though, I’m not listening, just observing each and every one of his movements carefully. Like a cat stalking a mouse only waayyyy less creepy.
My focus shifts from his legs (which are criss-crossed over one another) to his hands, (which are folded and resting on top of one knee) to his eyes, (which are, oh holy crap! They’re looking right at me!)
All the sudden everything begins to cave in and embarrassment crashes over me in waves. He saw me staring at him. I look away at the students around me, trying to distract myself and see that they’re all writing stuff down into notebooks. Well fuck! Maybe I should’ve listened. I felt like crying and can fell my face getting hot.
Mr. Way hops down off his desk and I try to hide the fact that I’m watching him again. But instead of going back behind his desk like I was expected him to do, he heads in my direction combing his hair over with his fingers. Jesus Christ he’s too adorable. At the same time though….oh no…. I look up when he’s about two feet from me and he’s got this huge smile plastered across his face. Right now he kind of reminds me of the Cheshire cat. I want to say something but I couldn’t find words. Nothing was coming out.
“Do you know what we are working on today Iero?” He asks out of nowhere. The entire class turns around and watches me, waiting for an answer. But my anxiety takes over and I freeze up. “Iero, is every-“ He notices the class not paying attention to their work and insterts, “Hey! Back to work! And while you’re at it, learn to mind your own damn business.”
A couple kids rolled their eyes, a few here and there said things like, “What side of the bed did he wake up on?” and “What’s his problem?” And I’m pretty sure it scared a few people because they seemed to do everything possible in their power not to turn in my direction.
But what Mr. Way said only made me like him more…..babies…
Unfortunately like every good moment, there’s always an ending. Mine came too soon. He turned back around, facing me. This time crossing his arms. Out of no-where I got this sudden urge to scream and kick and cry and hurt myself. I was getting quite frustrated at this constant nagging. So what I got distracted. It’s not my fault my art teacher is so damn attractive.
“Is everything okay?” He asks. His tone surprisingly sympathetic. I nod my head “yes” microscopically, my face was burning like fuck and I just want go get the hell outta here.
“Do you know what we’re doing today?” He asks again. Shame drags me under. “No….” I whisper just about so quiet even I had a hard time hearing it. “Can you do me a favor and stay after class today?” He asks. ‘Oh no…’ I thought. I have to lie and tell him I’m busy or that I’m needed back at the orphanage. But of course, like the fuck I am, I screwed it up.
“Um….I have to run to my locker after class so I can’t.” He chuckled. Curse him. It was irresistible.“Well…. Let’s compromise, can you meet me in class after you run to your locker? I’ll still be here…..It’ll give you plenty of time to go over the assignment that you didn’t listen to today.”
I rolled my eyes and the “sass queen” in me urged to say that I can’t even though I can but screw it. “Okkkaaayyyy I guess I can make that work.” I made it sound like I was sacrificing A LOT to make this work. “Great! I’ll hold you to it.” And just before he walked away, I caught glimpse of a wink. HE JUST WINKED AT ME OH MY GOD NO WAY WHATIS THIS?‼ IS HE FLIRTING WITH ME OR WHAT THE HELL!? It felt like alarms going off in mybrain.
Every second from that moment on seemed to drag on FOREVER. I watched the clock and I swear to Jesus Christ himself that the long hand was mocking me because every five minutes it would glitch out.
I’ve all the sudden never been so excited to stay after class before. Curious and confusing feelings crawled all over inside me and it only made my anxiety worse, but something tell me that every minute with Mr. Way will be worth this awful time torture….

Notes

Yay!! I finally did it!! a new chapter!!!