The Only Hope For Me Is You

Mr. Castro started the period by passing out yeserday's vocab quiz. When I got mine, an A didn't suprize me at all. I studied my ass off for this. But the only thing i'm naturally good at in schoo is art. The only thing that peaks my interest in schoool is art. I take my I-pod, earbuds, and Biology notebook out and coninue "Love Isn't Always Fair" Mr. Casro has never told me to take out my music. He's just that kind of teacher and I love it. We could be studying for a state test and he wouldn't say a damn thing.
Even though i'm copying down what the teacher is writing on the board, my mind is in another world. I loose myself in the song that i'm lisening to. The lyrics, the beat of the drums, just everything. I drown in the meaning of the song. Music is my passion. My burning passion. Without music my existance would cease. The genres of music I lisen to vary from deathcore, death metal, black metal, goregrind, heavy metal, speed metal, screamo, rock, punk rock, and grunge. Black Veil Brides is (obviously) one of my favorite bands. they saved my life through their music.
FLASHBACK..........
I'm sitting on the floor by my bed in my room. It's pouring rain outside, grey and black are the only colors around me for miles. I was just informed by the police that my parents were killed in a collision an hour ago and that someone from CPS will be at the house in an hour to pick me up. I was told to pack only a single suitcase for the time being.
But I don't pack, I cry uncontrollably. I never thought I would cry this much over anybody especially my parents because at the time I was being very teenagery and hating their guts for grounding me. I ge up from where i'm sitting on the ground and slowly walk over to a small wooden box on my dresser. I let the tears continue streaming down my face. My world became strained at the seams. I open the box. Six small barely rusty razors lay just inside. I watched myself reach in and grab one. It didn't hurt much, infact, not at all. But I wanted it to hurt so I cut deeper, harder, slashing away. I screamed so loud my ears rung. I felt vulnerable covered in my own dark red blood. Everything was closing in around me. It became exremely hard to breathe. The sound of my own uneasy gasping filled my ears. Agony pierced my heart repetedly, each strike more painful than the last. My parents, the only family i've ever known are now gone forever. The end for me I felt was drawing near.
I became too tired to think, instead all the possible thoughts ended up as white noise in my head. But then something rather strange happened. My phone rung and the song I had for my ringtone was "Savior" by Black Veil Brides. I had no intention of staying alive-even if I wanted to live death would find me first because I was already bleeding out and i'd lost a shit ton of blood. Not even bothering to look at who was calling, I just stood where I was and noiced the puddle of blood that my feet were swimming in beneath me. The caller was relentless though and my phone rung persistantly.
The main chorus of the song played over and over. I listened against my own will as if my body and mind were seperate. I dropped the razor and it hit the ground with a clink that sounded like a thousand times magnified. I was loud, not helping with the fact that my ears were already ringing.

"A savior wiil be there when you are feeling alone oh, a savior for all that you do...."
That was the las thing I can remember from that day.
I jump out of myself and look up from my notes. Nobodys in the classroom anymore, not even the teacher. Well fuck! I make a quick glance a the clock. It's ten minutes into lunch. I pack up and praactically run outta there. Oh my fucking god........

Notes