Skinny is Pretty I Am Pretty, Right?

I love him. No, no I don't love him. Love is the enemy and no one wants a fucked up, not pretty enough, not skinny enough girl. He can't love me so I can't love him. I flip the switch in my head. No more emotions. I'm not allowed to feel. I allow the numbness to wash over me. I wonder what Alex would've done. HA. He wouldn't have answered. He despises me. Alex is ruining my life. He made me realize I'm ugly. He's the one that made me feel ugly. No, that was Matthew. With his harsh words and harshes hands. I don't miss Matthew like I miss Alex. I hear my name and snap back to reality. Gee is on his phone.
"No hospital...." I beg weakly. I couldn't. My mom works there it would ruin her. He nods in understanding placing down the phone and cradling me in his arms. He picks me up. He must be strong. I'm too fat to be picked up.
"You'll be alright." He whispers as he picks up my phone as well. He continues to carry me downstairs and into his car laying me across the backseat. I used to lay in Alex's back seat. On cold nights. No no more Alex. Alex is bad for me. I can't love Alex, Alex hates me. He left me in the back seat of his car for an eternity with my phone. I messages my mother and told her I'd be at a friend's house for the night. She responded with a "k." No inquiry to where I'm going just confirmation the message was read. As I wait for Gee to return my head grows foggy and discombobulated. He eventually comes back no telling how long it had taken.
"Gee?" I speak timidly.
"yeah?" He asks sounding exhausted
"thanks, you're the best." And with that he started driving.

Notes