Life on the Murder Scene

We arrive in California the next morning. The sound of someone brewing coffee wakes me up from my spot on the couch. There aren’t enough bunks for everyone so I opted to take the couch. It’s actually really comfortable. The only downside is having no privacy whatsoever not that there’s very much of that on the bus anyway. Groaning I sit up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hands.

“Shit sorry Makayla, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” its Frank. He pours a second cup and hands it to me before picking up my feet and sitting down. He lets my legs fall across his lap.

“You’re fine. I should’ve been getting up anyway,” I respond before taking a sip of coffee. The dark brown liquid is hot and I instantly spit it back into the cup. It’s too late though my tongue is already burnt.

Frank smirks at me, “You’re supposed to blow on it first.”

“Is that what you tell all the girls?” I respond raising an eyebrow at him.

“You’re disgusting. Do your brothers know how gross you are?”

I nod beginning to pull one of his skeleton hand warmers off. Frank doesn’t try and stop me. Instead he just sips his coffee, apparently lost in his own world. He lives there a lot…we all do. It’s easier that way. When you’re in your own head nothing can hurt you.

From the far end of the bus I can hear shifting around as other members of the band begin to wake up. The first to come into view is Ray Toro. He yawns, running his hand through his hair. Opening cabinets he eventually finds the cereal before retreating back to his bunk. He doesn’t ever say very much, as least not when I’m around. I have a feeling he doesn’t like me very much. I’m not sure why.

“I’m gonna try and find a grocery store today and get some more food stuff, maybe some fruit,” I announce as Gerard walks from his bunk to the main area of the bus. “Don’t forget to take your pills Gee.”

He stares at me for a minute as I point to his orange plastic bottle sitting on the counter by his hip. Ignoring me he reaches into the ice chest and grabs out a beer. “We’re running low on these you should pick some up when you go out.”

He sits on the other couch across from us. I turn back to my coffee unable to look at him.

“Please take your pills.”

“Sure thing,” he reaches over and fishes two of the little white pills out of the bottle. He looks right at me as he places them on his tongue. Shutting his mouth he swallows before showing me his empty tongue. “My tooth really hurts.”

“Did you bring a tooth brush?” I question as Mikey begins fixing himself a cup of coffee.

“I’ve been using my finger,” Gerard responds before shoving his finger into his mouth, imitating a brushing motion.

Groaning I put my head in my hands. My hair falls forward covering my face. “I’ll pick you up a toothbrush at the store.”

Gerard burps in response.

“I think we’re here for two days,” Ray says returning his cereal box to the cabinet above the microwave. He flips on the sink and runs some water into a cup. Searching around for a minute he finds the tea bags and plops one into the cup before shoving it into the microwave. Ray doesn’t drink coffee. I actually think he’s the healthiest out of all of us here. He even tries to go on a run everyday.

“Yeah,” I answer pointing the schedule taped to the side of the mini-fridge. “I was talking to a few roadies last night and they told me on days when we’re in a town for more than a day they always have a big party.”

“I’m assuming you’re going,” Frank answers moving my legs out of the way so that he can stand up.

“I’m sure we’re all going,” I respond confused as to what put him in a mood this morning. He seemed totally fine when it was just the two of us.

Frank turns, looking as if he wants to say more but a knock on the bus door stops him. Gerard gets up off the couch, pushing the door open.

“Guys, Bert came to visit us!” my older brother says in a sing-song voice. He sounds happier than he has this whole tour.

The lead singer of The Used follows my brother up the stairs. “Hello My Chemical Romance…My Chemical Romance’s permanent groupie.”

I flip him off before gathering up my blankets and walking towards the bunks. As I shove my sleeping stuff into Mikey’s bunk Frank watches me.

“You’re being a bummer,” I announce as I pull clothes out of a duffle bag. Frank slides into his bunk and shuts the curtain across it so that I have a sense of privacy. There is also a curtain that shuts off the couch area from the sleeping area; I pull that shut.

“I’m in a funk. We should take a walk once you’re dressed,” Frank responds as I pull an Anthrax shirt, Mikey’s, over my head.

“Why are you in a funk?”

“This bus makes me claustrophobic.”

I nod forgetting that Frank can’t see me. “I get that.”

Once dressed I slide open Frank’s curtain, squatting down so that I’m level with him. His hazel green eyes stare back at me, unblinking. They lack their usual sparkle. Leaning forward I place my lips to his forehead before pulling his beanie over his eyes and heading towards the front of the bus.

“I’m gonna go on a walk,” I announce before walking off the bus.

The early morning sun assaults my eyes. I cover them quickly, wishing I had grabbed some sunglasses from the bus. Blinking a few times I’m eventually able to look at the area that surrounds me. It’s another big empty field. The set up crew is already rolling out fencing and setting up merch tents. I bet they’ve been up for at least two hours.

Hands cover my eyes causing the world to go dark for a second. Frank’s lips brush past my ear, “Mikey’s coming with us.”

“Okay,” I answer before spinning around so that I’m facing the guitarist. He’s two inches taller than me, pretty much at perfect eye level. I’m standing close enough that our lips are almost touching. Frank runs his tongue along his, something he does when he’s nervous.

“Are you gonna watch us play today?”

“Maybe. Maybe there will be another band that I like better that’s playing at the same time as you,” I answer leaning forward just a little. Frank’s cheeks turn bright red.

“You guys ready?” Mikey asks causing me to jump away from Frank. The two of us have always had a certain amount of sexual tension but it’s better if we keep it between us. I don’t want to cause any issues within the band. Besides, teasing Frank is a lot more fun that giving into the temptation.

“Let’s do it!” I respond with a laugh before heading towards where one of the stages is being set up. Mikey and Frank follow on either side of me. Frank links his pinky finger with mine.

“Here,” Mikey finally says as we continue to walk around, “you forgot to take these this morning.”

He dumps a few pills into my free hand. I look down at them. I didn’t forget to take them this morning I purposely didn’t. About two months ago I was diagnosed with anxiety. The pills are supposed to take care of it. Well not only do they take care of it; they basically take care of any kind of coherent thought I could possibly have. I was told that would stop once I started taking them consistently enough for my body to get used to them.

“They make me foggy,” I respond.

“They’ll stop doing that if you take them like you’re supposed to,” my older brother responds.

“You keep telling me that but I just don’t believe you.”

Frank laughs before reaching over and taking the pills out of my hand, “Stick your tongue out.”

I frown at him.

“Just do it.”

Sighing I stick my tongue out at the guitarist. He drops the pills onto my tongue. Having no other choice I swallow them. “Blame yourself when I’m a zombie in an hour.”

Frank salutes me, “Yes ma’am.”

“What stage do you play today?”

“No idea,” Mikey answers. “We have that meeting in like an hour. On my way out Bert said that they have a hotel for tonight so if we wanted to shower we could.”

“Fuck yes,” I respond with a laugh. None of us have showered since we left New Jersey. The bus has very quickly started to smell. Being able to do laundry will be nice too. The garbage bags don’t really hold in the sweat smell as well as I’d been hoping.

Mikey and Frank laugh at me. They’ve been on smaller tours before and are used to living like this. Having always been at home I’ve never experienced roughing it. It’s not terrible but I’m not gonna turn down a shower.

“You still feel in a funk Frank?” I question glancing at the guitarist. He keeps his eyes forward.

“Naw, I’m feeling better now. Thanks for going on a walk with me guys.”

My older brother nods, “I was losing my mind in that bus dude. I fucking hate small spaces.”

“And large spaces, and grocery shopping,” I respond with a laugh. My older brother is a little weird. I’ve just kind of come to accept. My entire family, myself included, is a little weird. I wouldn’t want them to be any other way.

“Grocery shopping?” Frank asks casting a sideways glance at my brother. He’s got one of his eyebrows raised. I can tell he’s trying not to laugh.

“There’s too many choices and I never actually know what I want and the fucking check out people judge you. It’s always crowded. I can’t stand grocery shopping.”

Frank breaks out into a fit of laughter. Mikey frowns at him. He doesn’t like being made fun of. “Fuck you dude.”

I laugh at the both of them enjoying the joking around. As we turn around and head back towards the bus my heart sinks. The carefree feeling of this walk was amazing. Who knows what kind of tragedy is waiting for us all when we return.

Notes