Life on the Murder Scene

“And you think this is a good idea? He’s only been clean for a few months. What if he relapses?” I demand of Brian about a week later. After learning the name of the tour that My Chemical Romance would be joining, I’d looked up the lineup. The Used was listed three down from the top. I’d instantly called Brian, questioning if he knew about the rival band being on the same tour. Burt was a huge instigator on Warped Tour and I’m worried that he’ll send Gerard on another downward spiral.

“He can’t hide forever. The only way we’re going to know if your brother can handle his position in the band is by putting him back in it. Besides, you’re going on tour with them. I’m sure you’re more than capable of keeping Burt away from Gerard and Gerard away from the bottle.”

Frustrated, I hang up the phone, slamming it back down on the receiver just as Mikey walks through the room. He raises an eyebrow, sinking into one of the kitchen chairs, a cup of coffee held protectively in his hands. It’s been a long month for everyone and I think most of us are happy to have some downtime before embarking on yet another tour. Granted, this one won’t be nearly as long as Warped Tour, but having a show everyday and living out of a bus can wear anyone down. “What’s the matter little sister?”

“Fucking Brian. You know who’s going to be on this tour with your guys, right?”

Mikey returns my question with a shrug, bringing his Oscar the Grouch mug up to his lips, his light brown eyes never leaving me.

“The Used, which means that scum bag Bert McCracken is going to be around.”

My brother nods his head in understanding, motioning for me to take a seat at the table. Letting out a long sigh I oblige, knowing that Mikey will want to have a civil, well thought out conversation about the upcoming months. He knows what could happen out on the road and, just like last time, will want to have a course of action in the event that things turn ugly. “What did Brian have to say?”

“Just that Gerard can’t stay hidden away in New Jersey forever and that the only way to know if he can handle being the front man for a band as big as My Chemical Romance is to put him out there.”

“I can’t say I don’t agree. Gee has done well so far. He made it through traveling to California and all those interviews without even mentioning drinking, Mak. That has to account for something.”

I shake my head, frustrated with my brother for not understanding the point I’m trying to get across, “Gerard has only been around us. We don’t drink or even mention it around him. When I want a beer I disappear to a bar with Frank and then we never talk about it around him. Tour is different. Everyone there is drunk or in the process of getting there. No one stops to think that someone among them may have a problem with it. I don’t even want to know what will happen if he hooks up with Bert again. We can’t have another tour liked Warped. The band won’t come back from it…Gerard might not come back this time around.”

Mikey reaches across the table, taking my hand in his. For a long while he doesn’t say anything, simply staring at me with his wise beyond his years look. When I was younger it used to frustrate me, now I find it oddly comforting. My brother might sink into his own mind on occasion, but he knows how to calm people down, how to take hold of a situation and make people see reason and logic. I admire that about him. “We aren’t going to lose him this time Mak. Gerard wants to be better, not only for himself, but for the band and for our fans. The rest of us will keep Bert away. I don’t know about you, but I know that Frank would die before he let Gerard sink back into alcohol and drugs.”

I grin, thinking back to a few days ago when Frank had practically wrestled a bottle of Nyquil out of Gerard’s hands. My boyfriend promised to help Gerard stay clean and sober no matter what. I know Frank will keep to his word, even if it means he has to stop drinking. “I just worry about him Mikes. I can’t imagine not having him around.”

Mikey rubs my back, taking another sip of his coffee, “I know. I know.”

A month later

“We’re already late, hurry up!” Ray calls through the house as Frank and I lug more bags towards the front door.

Toro had moved in with us after coming back from California. He’d decided that living with his parents just wasn’t what he wanted. Although it took some adjusting, Frank and I couldn’t just walk around the house naked anymore, we’d all settled into living with each other. It’s probably a good thing, seems as all of us, plus my brothers and Bob will be stuck in a tour bus for the next two months.

“Slow your roll Toro,” Frank grumbles as the bus we’ll be living in pulls up in front of the house. “Maybe if you helped instead of standing in the doorway we wouldn’t be running late.”

“Boys, don’t start now, you’ve got a whole tour to argue,” I jest, handing a guitar case off to Ray before throwing Frank and my duffle bags over my shoulder and heading out the front door towards the bus.

As soon as I’ve got everything dropped in it’s respected places; Frank’s duffle in his bunk, mine on the couch and the instruments in the back room of the bus, I pull out my video camera. Bob, who I’ve spent very little time around since the Helena video, grimaces, holding up his hand so that I can’t see his face. “Keep that thing away from me.”

“What’s the matter Bob, don’t like your picture taken?”

Bob peaks out at me between his fingers, “Fuck no.”

I laugh, flopping down across the couch that will act as my bed on this tour. Although our bus is considerably larger than last time, the amount of bunks hasn’t increased. I hold up my video camera, filming the rest of the band as the board our home on wheels. Gerard waves at me, Frank tucked under his arm. My boyfriend blows a kiss in my direction before disappearing to the bunk area. Mikey grins upon seeing me, plopping down on the couch next to Bob. Ray, still carrying the guitar I’d given him just shakes his head, giving me a grin as the bus begins to roll forwards. It’s good to be back on the road.

Notes