Life on the Murder Scene

On the second day of filming Frank knocks into the coffin, sending it tumbling to the floor, cracking in various places. Thankfully, the company that provided it was able to fix it but the incident did set filming back a little. Day three started out all right, though by nightfall Gerard, Mikey, and I were reduced to tears outside the church. The song alone is extremely emotional and important to all three of us and seeing it brought to life only adds to the sentimental value. Even though we’d pulled ourselves together, Mark decided to just call it a day and let everyone get some rest. By day four we’ve got the repaired coffin and film almost through the night in order to make up for the lost time. On set everyone is very serious, knowing that goofing around could cause more accidents.

The dawning of our final day of filming brings about a new sense of passion and commitment to the project. Frank woke up exceptionally early to make everyone breakfast, or at least attempt to. The eggs are a little runny and as usual the pancakes a bit on the dark side. No one complains though.

By the time we arrive at the venue there are dozens of people outside. Although this shocked me at first, it’s something I’ve just grown used to. Sometimes, on the rare occasion that I’m not needed for something; I come out and interact with the fans. Mostly they just want pictures, autographs, and insider information about the My Chemical Romance members. It’s incredible how loyal the fans are. Even with it raining today, they’re all still stood, umbrella’s held high, eager to get even a little bit of interaction with their idols.

While I’m sat in hair and makeup the guys film outside. They’d done it a few other times before this, but Mark liked the idea of the rain and had people scurry around, trying to set up correct lighting and fit the cameras with waterproof gear. I’m set to film my dancing scene later in the evening. Although Michael and I have both been pleased with the footage so far, I don’t think either of us are completely wowed. Today is my last chance to really put my heart and soul into it and give grandma Elena something she’d be proud of.

“You’re all done sweetheart,” the makeup artists states about an hour later. “Try and stay inside or the curls with fall out.”

I nod before collecting the jacket Frank had left for me and wandering out into the church. A few extras stand around, chatting and taking advantage of the refreshments table set up near the back of the venue. Pulling on the jacket, I plop down on the steps of the alter, just taking everything in. This whole experience is still extremely surreal.

“You’re not even lifting the damn thing so don’t talk to me about it being heavy,” Gerard grumbles to Frank as they walk up the aisle sometime later. All the guys are soaking wet and shivering. I really hope that Mark got the shots he wanted because I can guarantee that none of the band members would willingly go back out into the weather.

Frank laughs a little, not even trying to deny the accusation. Upon seeing me he smiles, walking ahead of the others to get to me. I stand and give him the best hug I can, careful not to mess up any of my costume. The guitarist leans in and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “I can’t help that I’m short.”

“What are you two arguing about?” I question, interlocking my fingers with Frank’s. I like to feel his skin on mine, to have him close and see him laugh and joke around with my brothers and the other members of the band. I do fine without Frank, but when he’s around I feel more whole.

“You’re boyfriend here is complaining about the coffin being heavy when his hobbit ass can’t even support the weight of it,” Gerard explains and I feel my stomach do a flip at the mention of the word boyfriend. I’m thrilled that everyone in the band knows about Frank and I and that they’re all accepting. Mikey still doesn’t like the public displays of affection, but he’s coming around. Yesterday he even called us cute. Bob and Ray usually just make lewd comments, reminding Frank almost constantly that if he gets me pregnant he’s out of the band. Gerard approves from the sidelines, acknowledging the relationship and the connection Frank and I have but not saying or doing much else.

I giggle, beaming at the guitarist standing next to me. He gives my older brother an unapologetic shrug, “They can’t prove anything.”

“Just wait till we watch the video. Everyone will be able to see,” Mikey steps in, stretching his arms across his body

“Can I have my Helena please?” Mark calls from the back of the church.

“I think that is my queue. See you lovely gentleman later,” I wave goodbye to my friends, hurrying towards the director and choreographer.

“Are you ready dear,” Michael questions placing his hands on my jacket-covered shoulders.

I nod, not sure if I can find the right words. I’m excited but also worried. This is my last chance to get this perfect. What if it’s never good enough? What if I don’t live up to the expectations I’ve set for myself? I want this video to be everything my brother, Mark, Michael, and the band imagined. I want my grandmother to smile down from heaven and be beyond proud of what we’ve all done here.

“I need my extras in place for the Helena dance scene please!” Mark calls, walking up the center aisle. I follow him closely, handing off my jacket to Frank who disappears shortly after.

Letting out a deep breath, I wait till the music starts and then dive into the dance. I give it all I’ve got, starting at the front of the church and working my way down the aisle. Although this was not what was originally agreed upon, no one calls cut so I continue on. I change a few moves, just letting the instruments and the sound of my older brother’s voice course through me. As I near the back of the church I reach forward, pulling the camera closer to me. Almost instantly I realize what I’ve done and push it away, my gaze faltering for a second. I could have just screwed everything up. What would happen if I accidently broke the camera? We can’t afford a new one. All the footage is one these cameras. Michael beams at me from his spot behind the cameraman, encouraging me to finish out the dance. As my part in the music ends, I fall backwards onto the big blue mat on the floor.

Just like that it’s over. The music cuts out and Michael is embracing me, Mark and then the rest of the band quickly join him. Gerard is in tears. Frank’s lips find mine and for a long while we just kiss, my finger’s tangling in his slightly damp hair. Once we separate Mikey kisses my forehead, beaming at me.

“You did it, Mak. That was nothing short of incredible. Grandma would have loved to see that,” Gerard says, tears still streaming down his face and he pulls me against his chest.

I sniff, smiling at my older brother as my own tears begin to fall. I’d done it. I’d made them proud, each and every one of my family members are pleased with what I’ve just done.

“That’s a wrap on Helena.”

Notes