The Light Behind His Eyes (Frerard)

“Frankie, baby...wake up, my sunshine,” a familiar voice cooed as I felt a set of warm hands lightly shaking my shoulder. I sleepily opened up my eyes, only for them to be greeted by a face that a part of me has come to hate seeing, because it belongs to the face of the man that made me do such a terrible thing, and in the moment, made me love doing it.
Gerard’s body is above mine, looking down at me with a soft smile on his pale face that now no longer has blood splattered all over it. He brushed my bangs away from my perspiring face, sending chills down my whole restless and tense body.
“You've been out cold for a while, you poor little thing. You okay, sugar pop?”
Am I okay? No. I'm fan-fucking-tastic, especially after all that just happened prior to me passing out. I fucking killed someone, murdered someone for fuck’s sake! I helped you kill someone in probably the most grotesque way imaginable...and for a fleeting moment within my own corrupted and messed up mind, I liked it! I fucking enjoyed it! There was a part of me deep inside of me that took pleasure in ripping Irvine to pieces and killing him! It’s like for a brief moment I was possessed by some heinous demonic being with an overwhelming desire for blood to be shed, or like I have a split fucking personality and a very dark and twisted side of me came out in that very moment, leaving my own self lost in an unconscious limbo! I am not okay, Gerard! I am a killer and a monster and a psycho just like you, and I hate myself for that! What the hell is wrong with me? I just don't get what is going wrong with me! I just don't get me at all!
“N-no...not really,” I replied. Saying that I'm not really okay is a total understatement, though. It's not hard to see why I'm far from okay; not if anyone with a functioning brain in between their skulls knew what the hell I just put myself through in that godforsaken slaughterhouse with the psychotic nut-job that is Gerard Way. It’s not like I'm any better than him, though. I may as well be just as bad as him, if not worse. I shook my head almost violently, sending my head into an aching and spinning frenzy, then covered my pathetic and teary-eyed face with my hands, and caved in. “No Gerard, I'm not! I'm not okay! I feel awful! I am awful!”
“Oh sugar,” Gerard sighed remorsefully, wrapping his arms around me and holding me in his deceiving embrace as I wept. “Why’s that? You’re not awful at all! You are...amazing, Frankie!”
“No I’m not, Gerard! I did a horrible thing, and...I liked it! There was a part of me that liked it! I just couldn’t stop laughing and smiling at all the blood I saw and the screams I heard, and I feel so terrible because of it! I know you wanted Irvine dead, and I know he deserved to pay for all he’s done to you, but...oh god, I just can’t take it! There was just so much blood! I’m losing myself, Gerard! I’m going crazy! I’m sick! Someone’s gonna find Irvine’s body and we’re gonna get caught! I don’t wanna go to jail, Gerard! I don’t wanna lose my mind, either! I-”
“Shhh, calm down, sugar,” Gerard said soothingly, running his hands through my hair as he continued to hold me. “There’s no reason to be upset, baby. I know that what we did was scary to you, but...you did the right thing. You helped me rid of one of the people that killed daddy and mama. You fixed a part of me that’s been ruined for so long because of that scumbag. And don’t be so silly, sugar pop. You don’t have to worry about the authorities finding us. They very likely don’t even know the fucker’s dead,” he snickered evilly, making me cringe as I felt his laugh send chills down my spine. “While you were passed out, I took the body and chopped it up into pieces and packed them all into black bags in a suitcase before I got everything cleaned up. I then drove out a while far from the warehouse to a bridge, and dumped the bag into the lake there. The contents of Irvine’s body are at the bottom of the lake with the fishies, nowhere to be found. No one will ever find him...I swear, no one will!”
No, Gerard. Please don’t ever mention the body ever again! Don’t remind me of what was left of Irvine’s desecrated carcass! Don’t remind me of the mess I’ve made of it! I don’t care if it’s far from the human eye...it’s still there fresh in my memory! Oh, no...my stomach...I think I’m gonna be sick…
Sealing my mouth shut, I dashed off the bed and to the bathroom, falling to my knees as I let the bile building up in my stomach emit from me and into the toilet. I coughed and gagged, that awful image still burned in my head. I’ll never forget exactly how badly mangled Irvine’s body looked. I remember it being so torn apart and mutilated that it looked more like a giant hunk of meat, blood, and bone rather than a human body. It’s an image I know will forever haunt me, but the worst part is that I helped Gerard create it all. After heaving up what little was in my stomach, I flushed the toilet and nearly collapsed onto the tile floor til I felt a familiar set of arms scoop me up and wipe the puke off my face and chest with a damp towel.
“Oh, my poor, poor sugar pop…,” Gerard whispered, cradling me in his embrace like I’m a little baby. “You’re getting sick as a dog,”
Well, I wonder why that is, Gerard! Maybe I ate something bad or I’m getting a stomach flu? Or, maybe, what if it was from what the fuck we just did prior to me passing out? Hmm, what the fuck could it just be that’s made me fall ill? I wonder…
“Listen, Frankie...I know you’re shaken after what we did to Irvine. I know you’re scared shitless. I know how you feel, baby. Just know that you did it all for me. You’re doing exactly what you said you’d do. You’re fixing me,” Gerard leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my cheek as he stroked my numb head. “Why don’t you go and get yourself washed up? You’ll feel better and refreshed. You gotta relax. You deserve it, sugar,”
Oh, sure! A shower will definitely help me get over what the fuck I’ve become so traumatized from doing! A daily activity of hygiene will surely serve as a way to help me get over the thought that I fucking murdered someone! It’ll surely help get rid of the many night terrors and anxiety attacks that’s yet to come! Thanks a fucking lot, Gerard!
Well...come to think of it...maybe a shower is a good idea. I don’t wanna stink of half-digested stomach contents when I get my ass to bed. Besides, I feel so dirty; not only from the vomit that’s all over me, but from what I let myself do with Gerard earlier, as well as the way I reacted to it. I can still feel Irvine’s blood all over me, even though I know it’s not really there anymore. I just wanna be clean right now, even though I doubt even a thousand showers will help wash the blood that’s now forever on my hands.
“Okay,” I muttered, sitting up and getting back on my feet. “Good idea, Gerard. I will,”
“Alright, sugar. I’ll grab you some clean jammies to change into. I’ll be getting ready for bed. We’ve gotta get up early tomorrow. We’ll be heading home,” Gerard smiled, shutting the bathroom door and leaving me alone with my own dirty, pathetic, and guilty self. I began to undress as I turned the shower on, cursing every inch of my body that was capable of doing something so heinous and vicious. I stepped into the shower under the hot and scalding water, a part of me just wishing it would just burn every layer off my disgraceful body. Maybe I’ll be clumsy yet lucky enough to slip and fall, breaking my skull and dying in an unconscious haze under the water that’ll hopefully drown me, quickening the process of dying. I’ll go out without feeling a thing. It’s not like I deserve such a painless death, though; not after what I let myself do, or even worse, the way my mind took it all in within the moment.
It wasn’t long after I started to lather the hotel shampoo in my hair when I totally lost it. I just began to cry and sob so hard that it got to the point where I couldn’t even properly bathe, letting myself get lathered shampoo soap in my now burning and teary eyes. I’m crying so hard that I don’t think I can even stand on my own feet anymore. I just can’t stop shaking. Giving in to my own self-hatred and guilt, I collapsed to the floor, sitting all curled up in a ball in the corner of the tub as the water from the shower head continued to soak my body. I don’t believe I can even move anymore. That is just how devastated I am with myself. Maybe sooner or later I’ll pass out and end up falling asleep in the shower under the running water. It would be better than falling asleep with the sick fuck that I said I’d fix, even if it meant taking someone else’s life.
I am stupid.
I am naive.
I let myself fall right into Gerard’s trap that he set out for me on that very first day.
I really am a fucking murderer, just like him.
I am also broken, just like him.
_ _ _
“Frankie, wake up! Get up, sunshine!”
I nearly rolled right outta the bed I found myself in when I opened up my eyes, Gerard’s booming voice jolting me awake. I know I didn’t pass out here. The last thing I saw before passing out was the bathtub, where I was curled up and crying my eyes out like a kid in time out. I guess Gerard found me knocked out and took me right back to bed with him, right in the place where I decided I least wanted to wake up in. I also remember being naked, and not in this t-shirt and pajama pants that Gerard so happened to have dressed me in while I was out. I guess I surprisingly slept good last night, to say the least. If only I never had to wake up from it, let alone next to Gerard in this fucking brick of a bed…
“Wh-what?” I mumbled, rubbing my tired eyes. “Damn it, Gerard. What time is it--”
“C’mon, baby! Pack up your bags! We gotta leave now!” Gerard yelled, frantically pacing about the room as he half-assedly stuffed his belongings into one of his many duffel bags.
“What’s wrong, though? Why are you so...y’know, frantic?” I asked, looking over at the bedside alarm clock and noticing that it’s not even five in the morning yet. “Jesus Christ, don’t you think it’s a little too early? It’s only four thirty--”
“No, Frankie! We gotta leave now, before…,” Gerard paused, his already pale face white as a ghost. “...b-before...they come and find us…,”
“What? Who’s they?”
“The...th-the authorities, F-frankie!” Gerard hollered, his shaky voice full of genuine fear, his bloodshot hazel eyes wide with utter horror. “We gotta get outta here now! I think they know where we are, and that’s why gotta leave! They’re out to get me, Frankie! They’re gonna come take me away from you! Come on, Frank! Get your stuff and let’s go, quick!”
Wait a minute...the authorities? Does Gerard mean to say that the police already found Irvine’s entrails at the bottom of the lake? Holy shit, that was fast...in fact, too fast to be true. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since we killed Irvine. If Gerard really placed the body at the bottom of a lake like he said he did, then I find it almost hard to believe that the police would've found it that quick. Maybe they just caught wind that the killer they’ve been looking for for years is around, and are out looking for him in this area of town? How the hell do they even know we’re here if Gerard said that they know where we’re at? Nothing’s adding up here. I think there’s something Gerard hasn’t told me, and if so, I am ironically not that shocked. There’s probably a billion things he’s been hiding from me all this time. He’s already lied to me one too many times.
Giving in to Gerard’s frantic and sudden orders, I rushed to gather up the few things I’ve packed into my bag. After doing so, we ran out the room and downstairs to check out and take off in our rental car. The lady at the front desk in the empty lobby thankfully didn’t press much into asking us why we’re leaving so suddenly. She probably thinks that some kind of emergency or something just came up for us. I don’t think she’d ever think that the real reason why is that the police are (maybe) after the two of us. After stuffing our bags in the car and getting inside, Gerard gripped the steering wheel and zoomed out of the parking lot and onto the highway, not once looking back at the hotel we just hurriedly left as he sped probably a good twenty or thirty miles above the speed limit. I gripped on to the safety bar above my seat, holding on for my own dear fucking life, knowing it’s gonna be far more than just a bumpy ride home.
“I...I saw their cars circling around the parking lot of the hotel earlier when I woke up. That’s when I knew that we weren’t safe anymore!” Gerard said as he huffed and puffed to catch his breath. “If we drive far and back home, then we should be safe...for now, at least. They don’t know where I actually live...and you know that’s why I’ve had to hide for so long! If I hadn’t been careful enough...I knew they would've found me already!”
“Are you sure they were not coming straight for you, Gerard?” I asked, trying to make sense of whatever the hell this all is that Gerard is going on about. “If you saw these police cars when you woke up earlier, then wouldn’t have they come and arrested you straight away while we were packing or whatever? I don’t remember seeing any policemen at all back there,”
“That’s because they were preparing themselves, Frankie! They were trying to hide from us!” Gerard rebutted, his shaking body starting to rock back and forth in his seat, having the resemblance of a human ticking time-bomb inches away from exploding, destroying everything in it’s way. “They were putting together a way to put me off guard. I knew that...th-they’d...th-that they would--”
“They would what?” I cut him off, fearing where all of this could possibly be going. “What would they have done to you, Gerard? What are you talking about?”
“Y-you mean you...d-don’t know, Frankie?” Gerard replied, looking almost completely at a loss of words like I know far less than what I already do. “Th-they...th-the authorities...they’re coming for me...th-they’ve been coming for me so that they c-could...incapacitate me…,”
“What do you mean ‘incapacitate’ you? What do you mean?” I pressed on, just wishing Gerard would quit beating around the bush and tell me already.
“I...I never told you, did I?”
“Told me what?”
“I…,” Gerard paused, looking so hopeless as his eyes continued to bulge wide with horror. “I...I never told you what the authorities wanna do to me. They don’t just wanna take me away from you, Frankie...they wanna destroy me. They’ve planned to incapacitate me by...destroying my head with needles!”
Wait, what? Needles? What is he talking about?
No, wait...needles...that sounds familiar…
It’s the same thing Ray told me what Gerard was rambling about when he found him out on the streets. Ray said he was going on about police cars and people coming to stick needles in his head. It’s also gotta be the same people he was going on about in the restaurant, when he said that someone was trying to poison him...
Oh, dear god…
This is what he was talking about…
“What...needles?” I asked reluctantly, already fearing what’s unfolding within Gerard. “Why needles?”
“The authorities...th-they’d use needles...to incapacitate me from escaping and from ever being able to plan doing so! They’d do it to leave me as an empty shell, to lobotomize me! They’d take everything from me, including all my memories...especially the ones of you, Frankie! If the authorities take everything from me...I’ll have nothing left! I won’t remember anything! Not a fucking thing, not even you! This group specifically known as The Authorities...they’re not just regular police officers...they’re a special kind. They have a special ability to do what I just told you they’re capable of. They’re a group sent out by the government to look for people like me, people that have been able to run from their grip for so long. If they find me...then I’ll never see you again. I’ll be a goner, Frankie. I’ll be hopeless!”
So this is what it all added up to--a delusion that’s only half-true. I should’ve known. The law is definitely after Gerard...but not these kind of people, because they don’t really exist. He doesn’t think the police are after him, but rather this different type of people that he thinks will steal everything from his brain. All this time he wasn’t referring to “The Authorities” as just simply the police, but as a special group sent out by the government to not only find and arrest their culprit, but to also take everything in his mind away from him…
“B-but Gerard…,” I said, hoping in vain that I can somehow bring Gerard back to reality, despite the already slim chances of doing so. “Th-these people you say are after you...th-they’re not--”
“W-wait!” Gerard interrupted, swinging his head back and forth from the rear-view mirror to the front, his whole body now violently shaking as much as his voice. “Th-there’s someone b-behind us...someone is...f-following us!”
Wait a minute...
Concerned of Gerard’s paranoid suspicions, I peeked at the side view mirror to confirm them, only to find not a single car behind us. I then turned around and looked at the back mirror to see if I’m wrong; turns out I am not at all.
My heart nearly stopped dead in it’s tracks. There’s nobody behind us. I can’t see one car in plain sight, so that can only mean one thing…
Gerard is hallucinating.
“Oh my god...they’re right behind us. They’re right on our tail!” A terrified Gerard exclaimed, now speeding at full-force several miles above the marked speed limit out on the two-lane highway road. “Hold on, Frankie! We gotta lose ‘em, or else--”
“Gerard, stop it!” I yelled, barely able to see the area around us from how fast we’re going, my body now on the edge of my seat as Gerard swerved back and forth recklessly, nearly colliding into other vehicles dozens of times. “Stop it, damn you! Slow down and stop! No one’s there! Nobody is following us! You’re just--”
“You mean you don’t see them? How can you not? They’ve found us! They’re right fucking behind us! The Authorities are right fucking behind us!” Gerard screamed, swerving and screeching when he made a sharp turn off the road and into the opposite lane, a large white semi oncoming toward us as he sped away from his invisible enemies.
“GERARD! STOP! STOP IT NOW!” I yelled back, feeling my vocal cords being ripped to pieces doing do. I lunged forward and gripped onto the steering wheel, turning us away from the honking semi that was only seconds away from killing us.
“Let go, Frank! You son of a--” Gerard growled, pushing and shoving me as I gripped on to the wheel with my dear life. “Let go! Let go of the fucking wheel!”
Now fighting with a dangerous and resistant Gerard, we swerved back and forth on and off in between lanes, nearly bumping into dozens of honking cars and constantly dodging further disaster by a hair again and again as we fought over control of the vehicle. I have to get the both of us out of here. I have to save the two of us. I have to stop Gerard from killing the both of us.
“Did you fucking hear me, Frank? Let go! Let go!” Gerard screamed, sharply turning the wheel his way near more oncoming cars.
“NO!” I reached out, shoving Gerard as I swerved the car away again, sending us off the road away from traffic and out in the middle of an open space, where I stomped on the brake to come to a complete screeching stop with a frantic Gerard under my hold. That was when the both of us then stopped, as if time itself just put itself on pause after what just happened. There’s nothing but silence as we eyed each other, my hands still over Gerard with his body up against the corner of his seat. His eyes are still wide, but not out of fear of people coming to get him, but out of devastation of what the hell just took place at his hands. Those eyes of his now hopefully see what he saw following behind him was all in his head that no one is really after.
“Th-they’re gone…,” he said, a smile of false relief growing on his face. “They’re not...f-following us anymore. W-we lost them, F-frankie….We lost them!”
“G-gerard...nobody was following us,” I choked out, my voice hoarse from all the screaming. “Nobody’s out to get you. Nobody wants to hurt you. It’s okay,”
“B-but...how did you not see them? They were right fucking there right behind us!”
Because they’re not real, Gerard. It’s all in your head. That’s why. If only I can tell you that, but what’s the point? You won’t believe me. Of course you won’t. You’re just too sick.
“Gerard,” I said, itching to change the subject and take the wheel before Gerard gets us in more trouble. “Let me drive us home...please,”
“No, it’s alright,” he shook his head. “I’ll drive--”
“Gerard,” I said again, raising my voice as I reached for the wheel and watched Gerard shrink in his seat out of fear from how livid I must be right now. “Let…me...drive...the goddamn car, please. You’ve done enough,”
“O-okay…,” he said shakily, giving in. Instead of getting out of the car to switch seats so that I could possibly have the opportunity to take off without him, he simply shuffled and scooched off the driver’s seat over to the passenger seat, stumbling all over the place in the process as I reluctantly did the same. Silently, I put on my seatbelt and revved the engine back up, driving back onto the long road back home with Gerard, my fellow partner in crime.
If home is where the heart is, then my heart, along with everything else within me, is beyond fucked.
_ _ _
Something is not right...something is really, really not right here. Something terrible is gonna happen...
That’s the only thing that crossed my mind the entire drive back to the car rental center and taxi ride home. It’s a horrible thought I could just never shake off for the life of me. What is it, though? What exactly is yet to happen to us? I want to know, but at the same time, I really don’t. I hope that my mind is just fucking with me and getting me all worked up over nothing. I hope I’m right about that. I better fucking be.
“Frankie? You alright, baby?” Gerard asked, sitting next to me in the back seat of the taxi cab. I felt him squeeze my hand tightly as he looked over my face full of poorly hidden discontent. “Is something bothering you, sugar pop?”
“I…,” I sighed, knowing that I’m doing a piss-poor job at hiding the fact that something’s wrong. “I don’t know, Gerard...I feel like...something’s gonna happen…,”
“Hmm? Like what?” he tilted his head to the side, asking to hear more. “What do you mean?”
“I feel like…,” I paused, trying to think long and hard about what I have a feeling will happen to us. I still can’t figure out what it is, but I do have a feeling where it’ll happen, and that place is at home with Ray, Bob, and Mikey. But what exactly will happen to us when we come home to them? Just what the hell is it? “I feel like...something’s gonna happen when we get home...something bad…,”
“R-really?” Gerard’s eyes widened, clearly dismayed by what I just admitted to him, like the same thing’s been on his mind the whole time. That’s gotta be what it is. “Wh-what do you mean...s-sunshine? What exactly--”
“We’re here,” a sudden yet disgruntled voice boomed, nearly making the both of us jump in our seats. It was the taxi driver who took us to our final destination that is our home, and is now waiting for the two of us to pay up, unpack our bags from the trunk, and get the hell out of his car. “Your total’s thirteen-fifty,”
“O-okay,” Gerard stuttered, shakily pulling out his wallet as he turned to me, his eyes still wide and mortified. “Frankie, you start unloading our bags. I’ll pay,”
Silently, I did just that, stepping out of the vehicle and opening up the trunk of the taxi, unloading one bag after another. As I did, that horrible thought continued to eat at me, taunting me. I really, really don’t know what I think is gonna happen to us, but at least I’m not crazy for acting so paranoid all of a sudden; Gerard’s thinking the same thing. He also has a feeling something's gonna happen, and it’s clear by that look on his face. Whatever it may be, it’s scaring me to fucking death. Something will happen to the two of us, especially to Gerard; something very, very bad, and I am fucking worried for him. Despite all that’s happened over the span of the last couple nights, despite him making me do something I know will haunt me for the rest of my life, despite how mad he’s gone, and despite how sick and delusional he really is, there’s a part of me that still cares for him. I don’t want anything bad to happen to Gee, to the lonely man that begged me to stay in the basement with him overnight that first day we met. I don’t want him to get hurt...and I also don’t want him taken away from me.
I still love him.
As me and Gerard picked up our bags and walked through the front door, that dreadful feeling rushed over me more and more with every step we took into the house. It’s very quiet in here...in fact, too quiet. It’s so awfully quiet to the point where something doesn’t feel right here at all. Where is everyone? Where’s Ray, Bob, and Mikey? Where’s all the chit-chat and ruckus I always hear when I walk through the front door of this place? There’s nothing here at all. I gulped, feeling my chest tightly constrict my rapidly beating heart. I am shaking and sweating and on the verge of an all-out mental breakdown. I need to hear something, anything! I need a sign that someone is there! I don’t care what the fuck it is, just a sign that we’re not alone in this deathly silence.
“Hello?” I called out. “Ray? Mikey? Bob? Anyone home?”
“F-frankie,” Gerard turned to me, his whole body visibly shaking as much as mine. “I...I think you were right. Something is very, very wrong here…,” he said, suddenly dashing down the hall and down the stairs back to his dark haven that he’s been away from, leaving me behind to wonder what exactly the hell is going on.
“Gerard, wait!” I called out as I ran to follow him downstairs. “Wait a minute, Gerard! Wait--”
“OH MY GOD...MY ROOM! OH MY FUCKING GOD!” he screamed, his monstrous voice twisted with devastation and fury, nearly making me stumble over the stairs and down to the floor. “WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!”
“Gerard!” I yelled back, picking up my pace as my chest pounded faster. I turned around the corner and down the hall to Gerard’s bedroom, only to find him standing among a massive pile of papers and boxes scattered all over the place, with Ray, Bob, and Mikey all standing there with him, all of them looking utterly mortified. “Hey guys, what’s going on here--”
“I think we are the ones that should be asking you that, Gerard,” Mikey said in a confronting manner, holding out a series of old newspapers to his devastated culprit, all of them with Gerard’s old mugshot photo on the front covers.
Trenton State Hospital Escapee, Way, on the loose

Desecrated bodies of Richardson family found, foul play suspected

Trenton State Hospital escapee, Way, suspected for murder of Richardson murders

Oh, no...oh god, no...they’ve all found out. This must’ve been why Gerard forbade anyone but me from entering his room. He’s been trying to hide his secrets from Ray, Bob, and Mikey, and they all found it. They all know what Gerard has been hiding from them for so long. They now know he’s an escapee. They know he’s a murderer. They know everything…
“Gerard...dear god...just what have you done?” A nearly hysterical Ray cried out, being held back by a comforting Bob. “Just how many people have you killed? How many?!”
“Frank, why don’t you explain yourself?” Mikey turned to me, eyes full of bitter accusation. “Do you know about any of this?”
“Whoah, whoah...wait a minute!” I darted forward, bringing myself into the unnerving conflict that’s brewing. Even Lola, all curled up in a corner of her cage, looks visibly shaken from it all. I’m also shaking. I need to explain myself, but even more, I need to know just how in the hell this all happened.
“Mikey, Ray...what’s going on here?”
“Don’t you see, Frank? My own brother...he really is a murderer! He didn’t just kill those kids that bullied him...he’s killed others as well!” Mikey exclaimed, his skin growing a sickly pale as he told of what his brother has been guilty of doing. “All that time you guys were gone, I knew in the back of my head something was wrong. The thought that Gerard was hiding something from us was just eating at me. I knew he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want any of us to enter his room, because he always kept his door locked, and you knew he gets pissed when someone enters his room...besides you, that is. So, I had to sneak my way in his room. I picked at the lock with a hairpin, and...I found far much than I thought I would. It turns out I wasn’t just fucking paranoid...I had the right to be afraid. Gerard has hidden so much from all of us this whole time…,”
Me and Mikey both turned our heads, looking down at Gerard’s belongings that have been encroached upon--more newspapers, each and every one of them telling of Gerard’s crimes of escape and murder. So this is what happened. Mikey’s curiosity and paranoia got the best of him, and it led him to forbidden territory, that being the ugly truths Gerard’s been hiding from, except for me. Now that Gerard has been exposed, there’s nowhere he can hide. He’s not even safe in his own haven that’s been invaded while he was away…
“Also, just to confirm that my brother is indeed guilty...there’s this, too…,” Mikey, who looks like he’s on the verge of being sick, reached into a box behind him, pulling out a series of glass Mason jars, all of them sealed up and containing--
Oh, no...now I’m the one that’s gonna be sick…
Covering my mouth, I fell to my knees and gagged as my stomach churned after my eyes laid upon something that I am not proud to say they’ve seen before. The contents of these Mason jars are more of Gerard’s “souvenirs” that he’s gathered from his victims, like what he took from Irvine when he cut off his ears. There’s a set of blue-green eyed eyeballs in one of the glass jars, two big toes in another one, and one of them even contains--yes, this is true--a set of someone’s severed testicles. I don’t fucking believe it. He’s actually done this more than once! He’s really that dedicated to treating these murders he’s committed as hunting for sport, the sick man. I don’t know how in the hell I wasn’t able to smell the decaying body parts whenever I was in Gerard’s room, but that could be why his room always stank of moth balls…
“G-gerard…,” I choked out, feeling the blood drain from my face as the bile in my stomach built up. “Oh, my god...oh--”
“Frank, did you…,” Ray paused, gulping as he tried his hardest not to hurl after his eyes laid upon the severed body parts in the jars. “Did you...know anything about this?”
“A-about...about what?”
“This!” Mikey exclaimed, his waving and exasperated hands showing off the clutter of papers and rotting body parts in front of all of us as he glared at me resentfully. “You knew damn well how close you were to Gerard...so surely, you had to know something about all this, right?”
Oh god, what do I say? What the hell can I say? If I lie, I’d be turning my back on Gerard after all I’ve committed to him. But if I sit here and tell the truth…
“I…,” I started, barely know where to start. “I-I--”
“You...you son of a bitch…,” Gerard growled, eyeing his brother like he’s his next prey to pounce upon. “You motherfucker...I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” he screamed, lunging forward and tackling the light and skinny Mikey to the ground, his fists going to town on his face.
“Mikey!” Ray and Bob yelled in unison, trying to run to a pummeled Mikey’s aid, only to be fended off by a furious Gerard that’s clearly lost it all; he’s gone fucking mad, and he doesn’t at all care who stands in his destructive path.
“Gerard! Let go of him!” I yelled back, reaching forward to try to separate the two fighting Way brothers, Gerard’s body toppling over poor Mikey’s, whose face is now all bloodied and bruised. This needs to stop. This needs to stop now! “Guys, stop it! Stop it--”
“Freeze!” another set of loud voices yelled, followed by the sound of the basement door being knocked down off it’s hinges. Five men came running down the stairs and into the bedroom, all of them wearing police uniforms and holding handguns out, ready to shoot.
It’s the Authorities...and they’ve come for Gerard.
“Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground!” one of them boomed, charging through the bedroom door to break up the physical conflict that’s taking place. “Every one of you, on the ground now!”
It was when Gerard heard the cop’s voice that he froze, turning his head to face his enemies that have been searching for him for so long. His eyes widened with horror, knowing that he’s now cornered with a gun pointing right at him. He let go of Mikey, backing away from him and the cops defenselessly, his whole body pale and shaking, his mouth wide open in devastation.
“N-no...they’ve come for me! They’ve found me!” he screamed, constantly stumbling to his feet as he weakly backed himself into a corner of the room. “S-stay away from me! J-just s-stay away! P-please, don’t--”
“Get down on the ground and put your arms up in the air where we can see them!” the officer shouted back, still holding his handgun out over his cornered fugitive. Mikey got up off the ground and lunged toward Gerard, tackling him to the ground and holding him under his grip as the both fought and struggled, while Ray and Bob stood in utter shock.
I have to do something. I have to protect Gerard. I can’t let anyone take him away from me. I still fucking love him!
“No, Mikey! Get off of him!” I snapped, running to the Way brothers to separate them from each other and to protect the man that calls me his baby, his sugar pop, his sunshine, and says that he loves me, just like I love him. I shoved Mikey off Gerard, trying my damndest to fend him off as the mass of blue-suited men came barging in towards all of us. “Don’t you dare touch him! Don’t--”
I fell back, feeling my arms being bound by a set of handcuffs as one of the big blue men’s bodied pinned me to the floor. I screamed, struggling as I called out for Gerard, who’s caught up in a struggle of his own against three of the other officers. He kicked and swung his fists at them, fighting for his dear life.
“Get away from me! Get the fuck away from me--ahhh!” Gerard collapsed to the floor, holding on to his bloodied head that was just hit with the butt of one of the men’s guns. That was when they scooped him up, tackling him to the floor and cuffing him. He kicked and flailed under their grip like a fish, now completely helpless. “N-no fair! No fair, no fair, no fair!”
“Gerard Way, you are under arrest for the murder of the Richardson family, as well as fleeing legal custody from Trenton State Hospital without authority or consent,” one of the officers said, a squirming Gerard under his strong grip. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning,”
“No! Don’t take me away from Frankie! He needs me, and I need him! Please, don’t take my sunshine away from me, please!” Gerard pleaded as he kicked and screamed, tears starting to run from his eyes as the cops began to pull him away from us. He turned to me, those eyes of his beaming right at me. “Frankie, baby...you’re gonna be okay! I promise, I won’t let them hurt you! I won’t let anyone hurt you! I’ll never let them take--”
“No!” I screamed, continuing to fight as I called out for the binded and arrested Gerard as they dragged him away from me. “Gerard! Gerard! Gerard!”
“Looks like I already know, Frankie,” Mikey hissed, venom spewing from his disgusted eyes as he wiped some blood off his face. “You knew all along. You knew what Gerard has done, yet you never did anything. You tried hiding him all along. Your love for him blinded you,”
I turned to Mikey, my mind cursing his fucking face and everything else about him. He helped the cops turn him in. He’s gotta be the one that called them in advance. Who the hell else would have done it, leading them to the very place where we all live? He found what his brother did, and decided to play the hero and turn him over to the Authorities. He helped them separate my love from me!
“Fuck you!” I screamed at him, wanting to run to him and do the same thing Gerard did to him just minutes ago, and break those pathetic fucking glasses of his and stab his face to death with the shards. “You motherfucking son of a bitch! I’ll fucking kill you! I will fucking kill you and--”
“Frank...I am so disappointed in you,” Mikey sighed, shaking his head. “I should have known. You’ve really changed. You didn’t fix Gerard like you said you would. He’s destroyed you,”
I froze, his words hitting me like a freight train as the cops hauled me off to the back seat of their car. I couldn’t help but realize that he’s indeed right. I really have failed. I failed to fix Gerard. I really am just like him. I am a broken, murderous mess, just like the man I’ve failed to repair.

Notes