Run Away From Here

I looked at myself from the front. I looked at myself from the side. The other side. I held up my hair and I broadened my shoulders. I glared at my reflection.
Quit trying. A voice spoke up inside my head. I was used to listening to the voices of gender dysphoria. I was my own worst enemy.
“Genevieve! Are you up yet?” I let out a quick, short sigh before grabbing a button-up shirt and quickly buttoning each white, pearly button.
“Coming, mother.” I called back, slipping on my shoes and running out of the door, not looking back twice on the room and comfort I was leaving behind.
My room was my home. It’s where all my comic books were hidden, where I practiced drawing on the spare pieces of paper I had. It was the place where I felt the most comfortable, most at ease. I mean, I hardly ever felt at ease, so I would take what I could get.
As I raced down the stairs, I looked over at Mikey, who was sitting on the couch. Our eyes met and he stared at my chest instantly, glaring at what he saw. Some might think he was a creep for looking at my chest every morning, but I knew what he was doing, and I sure as hell didn’t like it.
“What?” I hissed angrily at him, but before he could make a comment about how binding was dangerous and how I should be taking better care of myself, my mother entered the room.
“You have everything you need?” She asked brusquely, and I nodded quickly, avoiding her gaze. “Make one more stupid picture and class and you’re out of here, okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry, mother.” I grumbled, turning away and closing the door behind me. I was used to her hollow threats about her kicking me out of the house. She wouldn’t do that; she can’t control me if she knows I’m gone.
But whatever. I knew one person could make me feel better, and it was to his house I was walking to right now.
Frank and I have been friends since kindergarten. Most kids were told by their moms not to play with me, in case I went home and told my mother, which might lead to her killing their entire family. But, though Frank heard those warnings too, he chose not to pay them any attention. And thank god for that.
My mom hated Frank, but she wasn’t about to go and kill his whole family because of this contention. Nah, too much paperwork she’d have to do in order to get them killed.
Anyway, so Frank was my best friend, and I had a minor crush on him. He was freaking perfect, after all, so why not crush on him and dream about him? He was an outcast, much like me, and we both fitted together nicely. No boy would try to date me, and no girl would try to date him.
I soon reached Frank’s house, where he was sitting on the porch. He looked up when he heard my footsteps, grinning and jumping up quickly. Others saw him as shy, quiet, socially anxious…I knew he was jumpy and happy though, but that’s something I only knew. I only knew the real Frank Iero, and that’s something I take pride of.
“Hi, Frank.” I greeted, and we both started walking to school, also commonly known as hell. I remember how school used to be; you actually learned valuable shit, like math and science. But now it was all fucked up, it was trying to brainwash everyone into thinking like them. It seemed to me that only Frank and I were the ones actually thinking.
“You’re always deep in thought, Gee. Anything that’s up you want to talk about?” Frank spoke through my thoughts, and I looked up from the ground and smiled at him.
“Nah, unless you can magically make the world the way it used to be.” I said quietly. I knew talking about the past was dangerous, but it needed to be talked about. Frank nodded quietly.
“Yeah.” He agreed quietly, looking away and down at the ground. “Uh, do you mind if I tell you something?”
“Sure, what’s up?” I asked, but Frank stopped walking all together. I turned around, and saw him biting his lip. It’s something he did when he was anxious, but I never saw him do it around me before. “Frankie?”
“Uh…you can’t tell anyone, or I’ll be even more of a loser.” Frank said quietly, kicking a rock that was lying on the sidewalk. I felt my expression change, one of puzzlement and confusion.
“You can tell me anything, I won’t judge you, I promise, okay-“
“I’m bisexual.” Frank interrupted and squeezed his eyelids shut, waiting for me to smack him or something. I grinned, wondering why he was so cute.
“Frank, chill, I’m not going to leave you or anything; you’re still my best friend.” I laughed, and he opened one eye.
“Really?”
“Frank, have you really been oblivious to the last ten years where I have been openly pro-gay rights, no matter how fucking dangerous it is?” I laughed again. “Of course I still think you’re great, no matter what!”
“Oh…okay.” Frank muttered quietly, smiling slightly. “I guess…I was just scared.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” I promised, throwing my arms around him and engulfing him in a hug, one that he did return.
“Thanks, Gee…” I smiled to myself, proud of my friend for finally coming and sharing his ‘dark’ secret.
If only I could do the same.

Notes