I was left in shock for the remainder of the day. Frank’s actions, and more importantly, his words, had stunned me. There was no way that he could be straight. Most dudes wouldn’t lean to kiss another dude if they were straight, right? I couldn’t get him out of my head, and even found myself doodling his name into the back of my notebooks like a 13 year old girl.

Frank seemed to have hated me from day one, yet I still held onto that moment by the stairs.

The day flew by, and I soon found myself waiting anxiously in the car for Mikey to arrive. It was a short drive home, less than ten minutes, but I had my mind set on getting as much information as possible out of him about Frank.

I saw his familiar face bob out of the school’s main door, followed closely by a dark haired girl I didn’t recognise. He paused a few metres away from the car, fumbling in his pocket for something while she watched with an expectant look on her face. He eventually fished out his phone and handed it to her, accepting hers and keying in what must be his number. They gave each other back their phones and said farewell. Mikey resembled a happy baby rabbit as he bounced back to the car and sat in.

“I-I think she wants to go out with me,” he said hesitantly, but he was beaming all the same.

“Her name’s Alicia, she likes punk rock, she plays guitar and she’s like, the coolest person ever!” he gushed.

He babbled about her the whole way home, and I usually wouldn’t have listened to that kind of shit but he seemed so genuinely happy that I let him. He interruped every time I tried to ask him about Frank, apparently whatever I’d said reminded him of something else wonderful about Alicia.

I really needed someone to talk to about this. Mikey would be no use, I couldn’t really tell my new friends I was gay and the only other people in my life were my mom and my grandma, but the latter lived too far away and I wasn’t ready to tell my mom yet.

I retreated to my room immediately and spent almost the whole afternoon down there, thinking. I emerged only for dinner, and managed to single-handedly make it as uncomfortable as possible. My mom noticed that I was quieter than usual , and after I’d left the dinner table, she followed me downstairs to my room.

I slammed the door behind me, hoping that she’d take the hint and realise that I wanted to be left alone. She didn’t.

She opened the door a fraction and knocked.

“Gerard honey, can I come in?” she called.

“No.”

Apparently the woman didn’t understand English because she came in anyways, closing the door softly behind her. She sat herself down on the bed beside me.

“Its very tidy in here,” she remarked.

I nodded, making a noncommital sound. She always did that. Made small talk before getting down to what she really wanted to know.

“Gee, baby, I know there’s something bugging you.” She paused for a beat. “Is it school? Are you being bullied again?”

I frowned.

“No mom, nothing like that.”

“Like that? So something is bothering you?”

Damn it, that woman was some kind of word magician. She always knew how to twist my words.

“No, mom, really. I’m… fine.” I insisted.

“But see, my Spidey senses are tingling and I know when there’s something wrong with my boy.” she said jokingly, touching my arm.

I let a laugh escape my mouth. There was a silence lasting a few minutes, and I glanced over at my mom, her face a mask of misunderstanding.

“Gerard, what happened to the little boy who used to tell me everything? The little boy who came running to me to show me his first stubble? The little boy who cried watching Mikey get a booster shot? What happened to him Gerard? Where is he?” She looked at me for a second, and then whispered, “because I want him back.”

She got up off my bed and walked towards my door, stopping to look back at me and shake her head sadly. She left, closing the door behind her. I heard her sigh outside the door, and take her first step upstairs.

I leapt off my bed and flung the door open.

“Mom,” I called after her.

She paused mid-step and turned around.

“What, Gerard?” she snapped.

“Come back,” I murmured, “please.”

She paused for a minute, and them turned around and retraced her steps, back to my bed, where she waited until I closed the door and joined her.

“I hope I didn’t come back here to be sent back out the door again,” she said sternly, but I could see the worry in her eyes.

“Mom, I need you to understand,” I began, “that I only discovered this a few days ago.”

She made an encouraging gesture and I continued. “And I-I-I… I wanted to tell you, but I just didn’t know how. I still don’t know how.”

I raised my eyes from where I had glued them to the floor, and swallowed. My hands were shaking, and my mom’s were too.

“I’m… I’m… I’m gay, mom.”

My mom froze, staring into my eyes with the same look Mikey had given me; searching for any sign of a lie or a joke. She found none, and all of her muscles relaxed. She let out a sigh, and reached over to hug me.

Her warm arms engulfed me, but all I could feel was a coldness growing inside me. She still hadn’t said anything.

She broke our hug, holding on to my shoulders and staring into my eyes.

“Don’t ever get me worried over something so small again.”

She stood up and began to leave the room.

“Small?” I squeaked, “small?”

“Do you know how much courage it took for me to say that to you?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t be silly Gerard. You know I’ll always love and support you, no matter what. I tell you ever day. You knew I’d be okay with it. Have you told Mikey?”

“Yeah, I told him earlier.” I replied weakly, still a little stunned.

“Good.” she said. “I love you Gerard, forever and always.”

She smiled at me, and left my room.