„You did what??“ Mikey’s eyes popped out of his head at the big news. I remained silent, folding my hands in my lap.
„Gee, is that really true? I just… I can’t believe it, I never knew a couple who did better than you two.“
After a few moments of sorting my mind I decided to tell him how everything began.


3 months earlier-


"Frank! Babe, we gotta leave, hurry up please!" I called out, while struggling into my tight black skinny jeans.
Tonight would be Mikey's farewell party, he would leave Jersey and wanted all of his Jersey friends, and his brother of course, around for a big goodbye. This would be a huge change for us, because we have never been separated for a long time or lived apart that far. We had almost spent every day together, well before Frank and I moved into our own apartment.
"Fraaaank!" He still hadn't answered, and I hadn't heard a noise from him, was he even inside?
I pulled out a red shirt, which was a slim cut and looked pretty hot on me, and a black tie. I buttoned it up and tucked it into my jeans, then fixed the tie. I wanted to look handsome tonight, because this was the first time in two months I was finally going out again.
Lately Frank and I did nothing much but order take out and watch movies, I was amazed that this clothes still fit me anyways.
"Let's add some drama" I grinned and started to put on black eyeliner and smudged it with my pinky.
Yepp, I was looking pretty hot now, maybe I could surprise Frank with my outfit and tease him a bit at the party so he'll beg me to leave early.
I chuckled to myself and rushed out of our bedroom to look for Frank. I went downstairs into the living room to only find an empty couch and black Tv screen. Then I peeked into the kitchen, nope. I frowned and opened the backdoor to the garden and there he was.
Frank sat slumped back into his favourite camping chair, it was a ratty beat up thing but he loved it for his comfiness and cup holder which was recently occupied with a can.
He puffed huge smoke rings into the mild night, obviously he didn't notice me or didn't want to notice me.

"Frankie, what are you doing out here? I called you a couple times, we gotta get going, are you ready?"
"Huh?" It was more a grunt than an answer and I stepped in front of him. He looked at me for a second, pretty unimpressed, and turned his head away again.
"Hey we're late already could you please hurry up a bit?" I said a bit grumpily for he hadn't shown any reaction to my physical appearance yet, maybe it was too dark for him to see me right.

"You sure you really want me with you tonight..." He took a deep drag from his cig and blew the smoke in my direction.
"Of course, why are you acting like this?"
"Like what."
"Like a shitty brat. You know we were going to Mikey's since two weeks." I rolled my eyes on him.
"Fine, but I'm not going to change my outfit." He crushed his cigarette bud with the heel of his gardening crocs and stormed off.
What a drama queen...


The drive to Mikey's flat was rather silent, well for the talking part, Frank had put a hard and aggressive music on max, as if to create a wall of sound between us.
I sighed and watched my pale reflection in the car window, zoning out in my thoughts. I was thinking about the fact that Frank and I didn't even kiss today or had a proper conversation, and how long he'll be in that bad mood and why, until I felt the car come to a halt.
The abrupt end of the noisy music evoked a heavy silence to my ears, and I was glad as Frank and I got out of the car.
I pressed the button linked to the ‚M. Way‘ name tag on the building and after a few seconds we heard a lot of noise and laughter through the intercom and the buzzer which opened the door.

"Yeeey! Look who made it! The dream team, hello you little lovebirds, come in, come in!" A drunken Mikey stood in the hallway and forced all of us in an awkward group hug. He didn't seem to get the icy atmosphere between Frank and me, and continued his blissful grin. Frank pushed a bottle of Absolute Vodka in Mikey's hands and rushed inside wordlessly.
"Oh you shouldn't have Frankie boy!" He slurred over his shoulder into the direction Frank had disappeared and turned his head back again to face me. "No, he realllllly shouldn't have.. You know I got a little bit eager about this lil' pardy here and bought much to much! But anyways, it won't get bad, right." He ended and squeezed one eye shut to get a better look at me. Boy was he drunk...
"It's so good to see you Mikey, I think I already miss you." I smiled a bittersweet smile and hugged my baby brother tight. He blushed and mumbled some nonsense against my shoulder.

As I finally stepped into the crowded living room I saw Frank already talking with a bunch of guys I didn't know and I decided to join them, because I didn't know what else to do.
I stood next to Frank and waited for him to at least say something like "that's my boyfriend Gerard", or " everybody say hi to Gee" and I would've flashed a shy smile and waved awkwardly, like I always did when I was around new people, but he didn't even look in my direction. To put it straight, he ignored me, he gave me the cold shoulder, and I left them after very unpleasant 15 minutes.

I tried my best to not step on anybody's shoes or accidentally spill somebody's drink as I cut my way through the crowd to find a familiar face.
Finally I spotted my buddy Ray, who played guitar in Mikey's band and I knew from high school and I waved excitedly at him. He blew me a stupid kiss across the room from the sofa where he sat, girls to both of his sides, while motioning for me to come over. I was happy that he was there, because with Ray you could have an awesome time and he was probably the kindest person I knew.
I had almost reached the sofa, when the girl to his left leant over and started to kiss him eagerly. Ray shrugged apologetically in my direction and continued kissing.
Wow, great. Now there was no one left I knew... I tucked my lips in and looked around the room anxiously, looking for a person on their own, which would be easier to talk to than a whole group, but sadly there was none.
I felt stupid and ridiculous and wanted to escape this situation somehow. There was only one option for me to save my night, and that would be loads of vodka and beer, so I headed for the kitchen.

Luckily the kitchen was a little separated room, so it wasn't connected with the living room and it wasn't as noisy in here. There was just one girl inside which poured herself a glass of water, obviously she had drunk too much already.
I smiled politely at her and opened the fridge. Mikey hadn't lied, the damn fridge was packed with drinks. I pulled out an ice cold bottle of vodka and a can of beer. I had a plan to quicken things up a bit.

Every time I wanted to get wasted fast, I poured myself some "submarines", which was a normal beer in a glass and a tiny bottle of Jägermeister, which you would drop into the beer, so both alcoholics would mix. Unfortunately Mikey didn't have any Jägermeister but Vodka would do as well I guessed.
I fixed my first glass and decided to stay in the kitchen so I could get my next drink as fast, and sat down at the small table next to the wall. I pitied myself to spend my evening like this, but it was better to be here, drinking alone, than home with Frank, who wouldn't notice me either... The first sip was pretty disgusting, after all Jägermeister and beer were a much better match than this, but I felt a pleasant dizziness rising from my stomach to my head, which dulled my sulky thoughts and felt nice in an instant.

I poured myself the next submarine as one of Franks buddies from before entered the kitchen and eyed me up pretty scornfully as he fetched some cans from the fridge and left the room again. What a dickhead, who was he to judge me? Or did he? I just knew that I didn't want to give a shit about what people like him would think of me, and I needed to numb my silly brain, which was always overthinking everything, with more alcohol.
"You are a sexy...and hot... pretty cool motherfucker, and anybody who doubts that can suck it!" I slurred a bit as I said those things to myself.
I felt a little bit better at least, but nevertheless almost emptied the second glass.

"There you are.." A cold voice spoke from the other end of the small kitchen to my direction. Frankie boy with his dark brown, almost black strands which were getting longer these days, came over to me. When I met him he had bleached and choppy sides and a long black fringe, he would always wear lots of red eyeliner, I miss that, it was fucking hot. At least he kept his nose and lip ring, I'd really love to bite that pink lips of his right now. The thoughts of kissing and biting him while having my hands all over his toned and tattooed body made me very horny and I felt my dick growing in my tight pants...
"Francis says you're sulking in the kitchen, looking like the greatest emo kid and drinking on your own."
"Well I'd prefer company, but somebody didn't want me around." I snapped and emptied my drink, just to pour myself the next one. My hands were a little bit shaky and I poured a bit too much Vodka for my liking. Whatever.
"It's not like I'm the only person you could talk to, this is a fucking party, duh! There are lots of people and you sit here by yourself, trying to make me feel guilty or what?!" He spit at me.
"Fuck off Frank, don't ruin my vibe.." My boner was long gone.. Ugh..
"Yeah, whatever." He shot me an angry look and turned away, I didn't care for now.
Drink number three was pretty disgusting, Just as I thought, but I swallowed it anyways. Hehe swallow.. I'd like to swallow something else, I thought and started to giggle like an idiot. Frank that killjoy, maybe I'd have to force him to his luck back home, who knows. We hadn't done it in a long time...


Drinking on my own wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it was pretty much fun to be honest, but I guess I shouldn't have drunken that fast, for my vision started to spin a bit and I didn't feel that well right now. Maybe it was time to leave the submarines by themselves and just have a beer, catching some fresh air.
I cracked a can open and left the kitchen, returning to the living room on slightly staggering feet. There was Green Day with American Idiot playing on the stereo and my mood increased rapidly, I even danced a bit- but noticed quickly that I shouldn't shake my head too much.
After bumping into several people and drinking half of my beer I remembered my original destination, the balcony.

The door to the small balcony was closed, for Mikey didn't want his apartment to smell like an ashtray, so I closed the door quickly behind me as I stepped outside.
I didn't notice the dark blonde guy in black at first, who was leaning against the handrail. He was smoking and looking at me from head to toe.
"Do you like what you see?" I slapped a cheeky grin on my face and winked at him.
"Uhh... No, I.."
"It's alright I was just joking around" I said as I fumbled in my pocket for my own pack of cigarettes and pulled them out.
"Shit", I muttered and turned every pocket but couldn't find my lighter.
"Would you mind lending me your fire?" I asked with the cig already stuck between my lips.
"Oh yeah, sure, there you go" he smiled and handed me the lighter. It was a pink one with cheesy white kittens on it...
"Thanks, dude. I'm Gerard by the way, and you are...?" I lightened up and took a drag, while handing him the fire back.
"I'm William, nice to meet you" he held his hand out and waited for me to shake it. I shook it and looked him in the eyes. "Quite a party huh." I made eye-contact with William while exhaling the smoke seductively.
"Mmh yeah, Mikey knows quite a few people. I don't know many of them though, so I stay out here or on the dance floor."
"Me too, my boyfriend keeps ignoring me today, that pretty sucks." I grumbled and spit down the building, stepping closer to the railing to watch it fall downwards. I didn't see much in the darkness but I could hear the small noise of the spit hitting the asphalt.
"That's a bummer, I'm sorry dude."
"Ah, don't be, it's nothing new to me really."

I leant my back on the rail and we continued to smoke in silence.
After the cigarette I decided to stay on the balcony with William, for I had still half of my beer and the night was just lovely. William talked a lot but I couldn't follow the conversation properly, because I was pretty drunk by now. I just remember him saying something about just moved here or what, seems like he was looking for some new friends.
After another fifteen minutes it started to get a bit chilly, and I decided to go in back again. I had my hand on the door knob as I heard a very loud and well known laughter from inside. I stopped in my tracks and peeked through the glass, it was Frank with his buddies, slapping one of them playfully on the arm while obviously having the time of his life in there.
I couldn't remember the last time Frank had been that happy in my presence or the last time I had seen that beautiful smile on his face, lately he was uncommunicative and grumpy, as if a dark cloud would hover above his head, sending rain and bad thoughts to his brain.
Fuck, I want my boyfriend back, this exact guy I fell in love with. Scraps of our conversation from the kitchen and at home came back to my mind, and I knew that Frank wouldn't laugh with me or smile for me that soon, whatever his actual problem was.

It made me overwhelmingly sad and angry, for I couldn't have him the way I wanted.
"Gerard? Everything alright?" There was a soft voice to my right and I turned my head.
„Uh… I don't like that look on your face, are you… eye-fucking me?" He watched me cautiously while bashfully fumbling with his hair.
In this moment I just wanted to hurt Frank, so I stepped over to William, trapped him against the wall with my body, while my hand gripped bits of his blonde hair and kissed him hard and sloppy, with lots of tongue.
He tried to squirm away but I gripped him tight at his arm and he soon gave up and melted into the harsh kiss. It felt fantastic. For once I was the leading part and secretly I enjoyed this new experience, for Frank was my very first boyfriend and I didn't kiss anybody else besides him.

I wished he would see me kissing William, I wished he would step on the balcony and claim me as his. But as William and I pulled apart and broke the kiss, I saw that he hadn't even turned around, his back was still facing me, he was still laughing and enjoying himself. He wasn’t aware of his boyfriend, who loved him and longed for him, who had to hide on a yet cold balcony with another man, because Frank had rejected him.

"Give me your cellphone." I ordered.

William pulled it out of his pocket wordlessly and handed it to me. I took it and typed my phone number in it, plus my nickname. "Call me" I breathed into his ear and kissed his neck. Then I went inside without a look back at the surprised and dazed William.

Notes

hi guys!

it's 2 am and I'm really tired, but I wanted to write this chapter! So I haven't been to bed yet, so let's say it's still Thursday and I'm not late with my update :0
Hope everyone tries a submarine at least once, in Germany we can start drinking at age 16, which means 14 then ;D haha have a nice weekend! love you guys- thanks for everybody subscribing and leaving me nice comments, I really appreciate it! <3