Forever Younger, Growing Older

"Did you get mugged on your way here?" Jimmy asked when Frank got him Friday afternoon after work. The whole day before has been spent either sleeping or reading; when Gerard had found out that Frank had never read To Kill A Mockingbird, he had found his copy from junior high and read the first eleven chapters to Frank.

"Nah," Frank said, sinking down onto the couch next to Jimmy. "It was Gee."
"God, he's insane," Jimmy noted.

"Well, not really," Frank said, squinting at the ceiling. "He's actually a good dude; he's just really horny, all the time."

"So, he's you," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, he's me," Frank nodded. "I want to try to take him to a show tonight, but I'm not even sure how to ask him."

"Dude, it's your band," Jimmy said. "Just tell him that you want him to come watch you perform. He's gonna say yes. And, dude— dude— dressing room sex is mindblowing."

Frank rolled his eyes. "I don't know," he said. "Gee doesn't really seem like the kind of guy who goes to punk shows. I mean, yesterday, he read me almost half of To Kill A Mockingbird. It was good, but he seems too... Sweet to be at a show."

"Dressing room sex," Jimmy reminded Frank, tapping the younger man's forehead. "You're both hot and sweaty, and you're all hopped up on adrenaline and... That is truly fucking. None of the shit you've been doing so far."

Frank looked down at the floorboards. "So, if I do take him," he started. "I think I'm gonna dress him up."

Jimmy choked on air and said, "I'm sorry, did you just say 'dress him up'?"

"Yeah," he said. "He'll like it. I know it."

"If you say so," Jimmy said. "Oh, our phoneline's back up."

"Finally paid the bill," Frank said. "I'm gonna call him."

"No!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Frank, get your little punk ass dressed and go on over. Look, you're out of the apartment a lot, and I don't mind one bit."

"Why, so you can jerk off without a witness?" Frank asked, standing up and moving to his room, leaving the door open so he can hold a conversation as he changed.

"Yeah," Jimmy admitted.

Frank nodded, pulling off his white shirt and flannel, trading them for a black Metallica shirt. He kept on the same boots and jeans, though, pulling his leather jacket back on. He kept his piercings in as well, the only change to his face coming in the form of black eyeliner. "I'm skipping out."

"So, will I see you tomorrow or Sunday?" Jimmy asked as Frank pushed his carton of Marlboros into his jacket pocket, along with his key ring.

"Probably Sunday," Frank answered. "Gotta go."

"See you," Jimmy said as Frank left the apartment. It was one of the first warm days of the year and Frank found himself almost regretting his jacket as he rang Gerard's doorbell.

"I should just give you your own key," Gerard laughed as he opened the door. He gave Frank a small kiss and looked at him up-and-down. "You look scary as shit."

"Well, I actually have a show tonight," Frank said. "For my band. The one I was telling you about Wednesday. I was wondering if you were wanting to come."

"Of course I do," Gerard laughed. "So, I probably need to put on pants?" Frank took notice of Gerard's lack of pants for the first time; it had become such a natural occurrence, Frank didn't give it any attention anymore.

"I was hoping that I could dress you up," Frank said, looking at the ground. "Make you kinda punk."

"Oh, Frankie, I would love that!" Gerard exclaimed. He hugged Frank tightly and said, "C'mon, let's get started."

After going through Gerard's closet, Frank found a black sleeveless shirt stained with red paint, a pair of ripped black jeans, and scuffed boots. Frank couldn't help but smile at his innocent Gerard in the intimidating clothes, and he gave Gerard multiple kisses throughout the process, some gentler than others.

After one of the less-than-delicate kisses, Frank said, "God, you don't look like my bunny anymore. You're too scary."

Gerard giggled, breaking the 'scary' image, and asked, "How many people do you think'll... Ya know... Recognize me?"

Frank thought as he applied a careful line of black eyeliner to Gerard's eyes. "Honestly, baby, probably everyone," Frank answered. "That's okay, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering," Gerard said quietly. After a moment, he added, "How do I look?"

"Lemme fix your hair..." Frank said and ran his fingers through Gerard's black hair, making it slightly messier, and said, "Done. Perfect."

Gerard smiled and kissed Frank. "Oh," he said, pulling away after a moment. "Everyone's cool with the-the whole gay thing?"

"They'd better be or else we've got an issue," Frank said. "C'mon, I like to get to the venue early. Best way to get a few beers 'fore the show."

"Where're you performing?" Gerard asked.

"The Tower," Frank answered, helping Gerard down from the bathroom counter. "Oh, I feel I should warn you about something," he added, gently placing his hands on Gerard's waist.

"Which is?" Gerard asked, but, before he could say more, Frank pushed him against the wall, claiming his mouth in a deep, harsh kiss.

"After the show, I'll want to fuck you," Frank said bluntly, moving his mouth to kiss Gerard's neck. "I'll want to fuck you long and hard to get out my adrenaline, and I might hurt you."

"Frankie," Gerard started, moaning as Frank cupped his hardening cock through his jeans and squeezed every so slightly. "Frankie, leave it 'till after the show."

"Before and after, I'll want you to sit on my knee, show everyone you're mine," Frank continued. "I'll probably be drunk or high— or both— afterwards and I'll be touching you, kissing your neck, I'll do anything to get you hard. Okay?"

"Okay," Gerard said, rutting his hips against Frank's hand. "Baby, we gotta go."

They got to the venue twenty minutes before doors opened, only maybe greet them. The actual room where Frank would be performing was a fairly large room, the stage taking up a quarter of the room. In the back of the room was a bar where the rest of Frank's band— and their respective girlfriends— sat.

"There he is!" Dallon cried when he spotted Frank and the rest of them sent up a small cheer. Dallon was the quote-unquote 'giraffe' of the band, a good three inches taller than petite Frank. Next to him sat his wife, Breezy, who hugged Frank tightly.

"Okay, Gee," Frank started, sitting down in a chair and pulling Gerard up onto his knee. "So, that was Dallon and Breezy that greeted us. He plays the bass. Then we got Andy— the one with the tattoos, yeah— on drums, then Lynn on lead guitar, Jared on vocals, and me on rhythm guitar. Everybody, this is Gerard, my boyfriend."

"Yes!" Lynn cried, and Gerard gave her a small smile. "I knew you were too good looking to be straight, Frank!"

"Oh, yeah," Frank laughed. "Lynn is a lesbian."

"Oh," Gerard said quietly. "Cool." He didn't comment on Lynn's 'too good looking to be straight' thing.

"Why're you so shy?" Frank asked and laughed, giving him a gentle kiss. "They won't hurt you. Well, Andy certainly has the ability, but he won't." This made Gerard smile for real this time, and he turned and gave Frank a kiss.

"How long've you two been together?" Lynn asked, leaning slightly forward in her seat.

"Maybe a week?" Frank said, more a question than an answer. "Let's see, it's Friday the fifth, so... Five days. Yeah, I got shitfaced at a new year's party and I met Gee."

"Okay, yeah, hi," Jared started, his eyebrows knitting together. "You look really— like, really— familiar. Are you an actor or something?"

"There it is," Gerard said, turning to Frank and smiling softly. Then, he turned to Jared and answered, "No. I'm a model, though. I seriously hope you don't know who I model for."

"I can't place you," Jared said. "And it's driving me up the fucking wall. Gerard... Model..." Then, Jared snapped his fingers and pointed at Gerard. "Gerard Way."

"That's me," Gerard laughed and Frank squeezed his hip.

"Who do you model for?" Dallon asked.

Gerard smiled and looked to the ceiling, as if looking to God for guidance. "I model for Playboy magazine," he said clearly, his face flushing pink.

The room was silent for a moment before Frank decided to say something. "Oh, and a hush falls over the room," he said quickly, which got everyone to laugh. "I don't care what anyone says, I love Gee. Even if he does is a little out of the ordinary, that doesn't make him any less of a normal person."

The girls cooed as Frank kissed Gerard again, both of them smiling as they kissed. Finally, with great hesitation, Frank pulled away and gave Gerard a small kiss on the end of his nose. "We need to be getting backstage," he said regretfully. "See you after the show."

"Love you," Gerard said as Frank managed to get out of the seat with disturbing Gerard.

"Love you too," Frank said, the rest of the band escaping their seats. This left Breezy to be next to Gerard, and she moved closer to him when the guys left.

"You seem uncomfortable," she noted. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just..." Gerard started. "New place, new people. You know how it is."

"Oh," Breezy said quietly. Then, she asked, "How did you start in modeling?"

"I was nineteen," Gerard started, scratching the back of his neck. "And one of my friends wanted me to be in a collection of pictures they had to turn in for a final project— I, uh, went to art school in New York for the bit of college I went to— and Brendon's professor loved it and sent out my headshot, and I was actually offered a spot at a lot of places, but I chose Playboy because it was kinda this taboo thing for a nineteen year old to be in Playboy, so... Yeah."

"That's really cool," Breezy assured him, taking his hand and squeezing. "Alright, it's secret time. You're Frank's first boyfriend— that I'm aware of, but Dally and I've known him for close to three years, so, yeah."

"I am?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, in like November or December, he went through a really bad breakup with his ex, Jamia," Breezy said. "He was drunk one night after a show and said that he wouldn't ever date a girl again— too much drama, he said."

It was Gerard's turn to say "Oh".

"Yeah, we always sort-of suspected that Frank was gay, but we couldn't ever prove it," Breezy continued. "Until now. You two are seriously adorable, like, you just seem like you trust Frank a lot."

"I do," Gerard said quietly, drawing small circles on his exposed knee. "He took my virginity."

"No way," Breezy gasped. "Oh, that's so cute!"

Gerard blushed once more, biting his lip and smiling at the floor. "Thanks, Breezy," he said softly. "It was... It was pretty nice. I liked it."

"That's all you're gonna give me, is that it was nice?" Breezy laughed. Gerard swallowed and looked through his eyelashes at the girl, finally allowing a smile.

"Alright, it was... A lot more than nice," Gerard giggled. "It was pretty damn fantastic. I never knew I could feel like that."

"You've never had, like..." Breezy started. "You know... Lonely nights?"

"Lonely...?" Gerard started, then smiled. "God, Breezy. No, I haven't. My prime 'lonely nights' are either spent in my bedroom, listening to Queen; in a photography studio; or at parties for the magazine. I don't get much time to myself. It's the beginning of the year, so not a lot is happening; Frank's in for a surprise once business starts back up as normal."

Breezy made a small sound in the back of her throat and said, "Okay, so, Frank, when he performs, is a maniac. It's so entertaining to watch."

"Really?" Gerard asked quietly. Then, deciding that he couldn't embarrass himself any more than he already had, added, "So, it'll be like every other night?"

"I knew there was more," Breezy said, narrowing her brown eyes playfully.

The show was a blur for Gerard— a blur of cigarette smoke and weed smoke and drinks and loud music. Breezy Weekes was right; Frank was insane when he performed. Gerard, every so often, would catch Frank looking at him as he played, and Frank would wink at him. Every time, it made Gerard's heart flutter.

As soon as the show ended, Frank disappeared from the stage for a few moments before coming back on and urging Gerard to come to the front. Gerard smiled softly and made his way through the crowd to the front of the stage, where Frank helped him up. "So, d'ya like it?" Frank asked, slurring his words slightly.

"Wow, you're really drunk, aren't you?" Gerard asked, smiling, and Frank put his arm around Gerard's shoulder.

"And I wanna fuck you," Frank whispered, leaning in to kiss Gerard's neck. "In the dressing room, right now."

"You said you wanna show me off," Gerard said, rubbing Frank's knee softly.

"Oh, yeah," Frank said quietly and jumped down from the front of the stage, pulling Gerard down with him. He pulled Gerard to the back, where they were before, and sat back in the seat he was in, pulling Gerard back up onto his knee.

The whole night, Frank gave Gerard kisses on his neck and rubbed his thigh, in no time making Gerard hard. Frank only stopped touching Gerard when he heard someone close to them drunkingly slur, "Fuckin' faggots."

Everybody within a five foot radius of the couple quieted and looked to someone behind Frank and Gerard, the first turning his head to see who had spoken: a man with ice-blue eyes and black hair that hung limply to his shoulder. "What?" Frank said slowly, his anger suddenly sobering him.

"Think you're cute and shit," the man said defiantly. "Nope. Just a fag."

Frank very calmly moved Gerard off of his knee, then turning to Breezy. "Keep an eye on him for a sec, would ya?" He asked and Breezy nodded, confused.

Then, he quickly turned and punched the man in the jaw. The bar seemed to explode into chaos as the man clutched his face and Frank cracked his knuckles. "Wanna try that again?" Frank asked, clenching his hand into a fist again.

"Yeah," the man said, wincing at the pain in his jaw. "You two are faggots."

Another punch, this time to the man's nose. "How 'bout you mind your own goddamn business?" Frank yelled over the noise, and checked behind him to see Gerard watching him, wide-eyed with fear and shock. He was digging his fingernails into his thighs, completely unmoving.

Then, Frank felt a rough tug on his hair and a burst of pain exploded across his jaw and mouth. "Fuck!" He cried out and turned back to his attacker, blindly throwing a punch.

He never hit his mark, instead feeling another punch collide with his own mouth, blood immediately pouring out of his bottom lip. His ears were ringing and he couldn't hear much more than a smooth, lilting voice yelling something incoherent. He watched Gerard yell at the man, then help Frank stagger to the dressing room.

"Frankie, can you hear me?" Gerard asked, and Frank nodded, wiping his mouth on his arm. It left a dark red streak from his blood, and his brain immediately snapped on. "Frank, answer me. Can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Frank said softly, wiping his bloody arm on his shirt. "Is my ring still in?"

"Umm..." Gerard started. "If it is, I don't see it."

Frank groaned and leaned against the wall, continually wiping at his mouth with his hand until Gerard handed him a tissue. He wadded it up and pressed it to his split lip, sighing. "This is gonna take forever to heal," he groaned, his speech slightly incoherent.

Somehow, Gerard understood what he said, and sidled up next to him on the wall. "When it heals, will you be able to put the ring back in?" he asked, rubbing Frank's shoulder comfortingly. Frank shook his head, pain needling at his whole lip, and he leaned his head on Gerard's shoulder.

Then, the door flew open and Dallon cried, "Frank, what the fuck was that?"

"He called me a fag," Frank said, pulling the bloody tissue away from his lip. "He insulted me. He deserved it."

"Jesus, Frank," Dallon sighed. "You can't keep getting into fights, you're gonna be arrested again one day."

"Keep getting? Again?" Gerard repeated. "He's gotten into fights before? And he's been arrested before?"

"Three fights, one arrest," Dallon said and Gerard quickly turned to look back at Frank.

"Frank!" Gerard cried.

"He deserved it," Frank repeated, mumbling. "Call me a fag. Motherfucker."

"Frank, you have to learn how to move past this," Gerard said. "Look, how many times do you think I've been called a fag? A lot. I don't let it bother me, though, because it's true. Why does it bother you so much?"

Frank thought, disregarding Dallon as he left the room. "It's not a nice thing to say," he said finally, as if he were a small child, and it occurred to Gerard that Frank was drunk and high— his argument wouldn't be valid.

"You act like you've never been with a guy before," Gerard noted, hoping he would be able to get Frank to admit it. He knew it was wrong to try to manipulate Frank in this way, but he had to hear it. "Am I the first guy you've ever been with?"

"Oh, grow up," Frank spat thickly.

"I've never been anything but honest with you," Gerard started, but he was cut off by Frank.

"Bullshit!" Frank cried. "That is bullshit, and you wanna know why? 'Cause you're too good at sex. You know exactly what to do and how to do it, and you're too famous and too good looking to be a virgin."
"Frank, why would I lie about that?" Gerard asked.

"To make me feel special," Frank said. "So that when we break up, I can say that it was a shame, but at least I was able to be the first person to fuck Gerard Way!"

"Frankie, am I the first man you've ever been with?" Gerard asked, and Frank let out a frustrated grunt.

"Yes!" He shouted. "Fine! You're my first boyfriend! I went through a nasty breakup and said 'no more girls'."

"Frankie..." Gerard mumbled.

"I let fag bother me because it's still new," Frank explained. "It's still a new concept to me, and I want to move past it, but I just kinda can't."

"Baby, let me tell you something right now," Gerard started. "If you're gonna be with me, you have to get used to it. Just on the street, I get catcalls and slurs thrown at me because of my job and, if we're together, you'll be harassed too. It's just something you have to learn to deal with. Okay?"

Frank nodded, wiping at his lip. It had stopped bleeding, but blood still clung to the cut. "Man, I'm bummed 'bout my piercing," he mumbled and Gerard giggled.

"Once it heals, you can get, like, a fake piercing or something," Gerard suggested.

"That's a good idea. You're smart, you know that?"

"Thank you, Frankie."

Notes

Two chapters in one day, holy moly.

xoKristin