Note: I don't have an editor anymore so my apologies in advance because there will be tons of grammatical mistakes. I'm sorry. I'll try and improve my writing. I swear.

I’ve always marveled at human emotions. It always fascinated me how quickly they come, how complicated they can be, and how easily they change. For instance, that moment of realization that hit me in my freaking face. It was funny how when I woke up, everything was calm but after the realization sunk in, I couldn’t even stay at one place for a minute. I was restless, my body hyped up to distract my mind from thinking too deeply about that man. I paced in our living room, walking back and forth and found no resolve. Why the heck was that guy in my dream?

In all honesty, knowing the reason was easy. It’s because he was the one that was constantly on my mind that day. I didn’t know why I was stressing myself like that. I could have just shaken all the thoughts away, pretend the dream never happened and just go on with my life but I know my mind wouldn’t let go that easy. I saw that man once, how could he even appear at my dream like that?

I tried to push the thoughts away and decided to go outside and take a walk around the neighborhood. The task wasn’t easy for someone like me, I know but that time, it was the only way I could think of to distract my mind. I knew that going outside meant possible human interactions but what can I do? If I don’t go, I’ll go crazy thinking of him. During those moments, I knew I was giving myself a hard time when I know how easily can this go away if I tried. I could find him. The pretty man told me he was a regular at that shop, so logically, I have a huge chance of finding him there. But after that, what? Should I straight up tell him that he showed up in my dreams? I bet he’d just laugh at me and call me pathetic. Or be scared and call me crazy. I thought of a hundred possible scenarios with all of them ending in a bad way.

It was late morning when I decided to go out. I could just entertain myself outside and forget about how a stranger is making my life complicated than before. Really Frank, how is he making your life complicated? You’re the one fussing over a silly dream that meant nothing.
The complex square was basically the same when I got out. It was still busy with the tenants doing their morning routines. There were still the occasional stares but no one really stared weirdly. Some, I can say, are just curious. Again, I shook my head and started to walk. I was almost past everyone when I felt someone walking behind me. I didn’t dare look. But when they talked, I knew I had to respond.

“Hey Frank, good morning,” the voice was familiar. I looked behind me and there was Andrei with a huge friendly smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile at him too. I stopped walking and turned to him.

“Hey Andrei. Good morning too,” I said shyly. We kept walking.

“So, if you don’t mind, where are you going?” he asked. I hated talking to other people besides my mama but somehow, talking to Andrei was easy.

“Nowhere. Just wanna walk around a lil bit,” I responded. I knew then where I was going. To the playground where I went to escape the embarrassing encounter at the coffee shop. It looked like Andrei was headed that way too.

“Can I come? I’m a little bored too. But I won’t tag along if you don’t feel okay with it,” he asked again.

“Well, yeah, okay,” I said. The following minutes were silent as we made our way to the playground. When we reached it, it’s crowded with little kids playing and their moms looking after them. I tensed. I couldn’t possibly go there as it was really crowded and noisy with all the kids owning the place. I felt stupid for feeling that way. I turned to Andrei and he was mostly looking at the kids and felt like he was waiting for me to decide.

“Do you know any place that’s quiet? I just want to wind down a little bit. This place won’t do for me right now,” I asked him. It’s the most words I told him since I met him and he responded with a smile that frankly, made my heart jump a little bit.

“Oh yeah, I know this coffee shop where we can just sit quietly. There’s also great books in there that we can— “

“No not that place,” I cut him off. Really, that’s the only place where we can hang out? How cliché was that town?

“Whoa, I’m sorry. I just thought you’ll be up to that,” he looked down, positively embarrassed. I was suddenly alarmed. Oh no Frank, you just didn’t upset that guy.

“Look Andrei, I’m sorry. It’s just I don’t want to go there right now,” I tried to explain to him. He looked at me with a worried face.

“No, don’t apologize. I’m being stupid asking you out like that…”

Wait, what? I was completely taken aback with his words. He was asking me out? I was stunned. I didn’t know that my sexual preference was that obvious. I’m gay and this guy, I thought, was probably gay too. Damn.

Even though it was a shocking thought, I wasn’t ready for anything that forward with Andrei so I just shrugged it off.

“Look, if I totally weirded you out I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to— “

“It’s okay. Let’s just go somewhere else quiet. Well aside from that place.” I cut him off again. I can’t deal with persons who feel like they did something to me when clearly, they didn’t. I wasn’t equipped to deal with awkward moments, let alone with someone I just met.

“Do you like video games?” he asked me. I’m not fond of games but there was a part of me that wants to like it, only because Andrei asked about it. It was a strange thing to think of, but I really wanna do something that would ease my mind so I told him yes. Andrei’s smile was big and with more caution, he talked.

“Well I have new games and we can hang out in my house. It’s inside the complex too and I swear, It’s quiet in there because my parents are rarely home. Only if it’s okay to you, you know. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable because this is the first time that we really talked but you seemed like a cool person and I want to be your friend.”

He was blushing like crazy. It was real cute and even though for someone like me, his offer sounded a little bit too forward, I took it as an invitation. A formal request asking if I want to spend time with him as my first friend in this new town. I looked at him and for the first time, I felt like I could actually belong here in this place. So even how strange things were, I said yes.

“Okay, that sounds fun.” I said. He looked at me and smiled. We walked back to the complex without saying any more words. It’s like silences were just normal for the two us.

While walking alongside him, my mind was made up to completely ignore my dilemma of the red-haired man. I figured out that I’m over reacting and thinking about him that much so I tried and focused on what kind of day I was going to have with Andrei. I gathered enough courage to talk and told him about how friendly the people in the complex seemed. I told him no one stared at me the way other people did. Andrei told me that everyone in the complex treats everyone like family, and people are really curious about us especially about me because they rarely saw me. I responded shyly, telling him I’m uncomfortable dealing with lots of socializations. He understood and smiled at me. All the while, I was calming down. I smiled when Andrei talked about how everyone sees me as a cool kid with all my tats. I laughed when he mentioned my tantrums on the playground. He was easy to talk to, easy to be with and by the time we were on our street, I completely warmed up to him.

It was easy, the day would be beautiful except for one thing that caught my eye the moment we stopped walking.
The flaming red hair of the pretty man.

Notes