At some point during my semi-breakdown, Adrenaline Raven must have decided that I was okay to go back to the Killjoys' diner because Jet Star came in and told me that we needed to get going before sundown. When he saw me trying to hide the fact that I'd been crying, pulling myself into a painful sitting position and wiping my face - and shamefully hiding behind my hair - he came and sat next to me. "What's wrong?" he askedd. If I had ever wanted anyone to ask me that question, it was now. In that dream, I had remembered a few things that I hadn't ever before.

"Apparently, I was screaming the entire time I was knocked out, right?" He nodded solemnly, looking very apprehensive. "I don't want to spill to you if you aren't wanting to hear it. I know I haven't been all that nice to you all, and I'm sorry. I just...Friendships and other relationships have really never been something I was good at."

"It's okay, I really don't mind if you want to tell me. The screaming had us all really shaken, even Party. You sounded so...anguished...and you were crying, but you were unconscious. Honestly, it was the weirdest fucking thing I'd ever seen. I'm not going to say that the rudeness didn't bother me, all of us, really, but if you're willing to explain it a little to me, that would be great. I won't tell the others if you don't want me to," he said. Out of all of them, Jet Star was the calmest, most level-headed. Being a dad probably had a lot to do with it.

"I guess I should, huh? Well...I grew up in California. I joined the CIA when I was sixteen and moved to Washington, D.C. I became the top agent when I was eighteen, and then BL/ind took over when I was twenty-three. I met Dean on my seventeenth birthday, even though at that point I felt thirty. I'd flown through training becasue that's all I had to live for at the time, and I was projected to become the top agent, which, as I mentioned before, I accomplished. Dean was twenty when we met, with a good future at the CIA. At the time, they really liked partnering men and women because they could go undercover as couples, siblings, whatever, so we became partners. We worked really well together, we had chemistry, and a great connection. Those connections were important during fights for communication purposes. We weren't supposed to get involved, but CIA agents always did because we could talk to each other in a way that we couldn't with civilians. Long story short, we fell in love and got engaged when I was nineteen and he was twenty-two. We were supposed to get married when I was twenty-one, in the summer. A month before the wedding, we had a mission. It went completely wrong and...Dean was killed. That's what I was screaming about. I was reliving that night, remembering some things that I never have before. Before this -" I gestured at my leg, "all I remembered from after I saw him on the ground, completely lifeless, was getting back to headquarters with blood on my hands - tons of it - and none of it was mine. After that, they relocated me back to California. That's pretty much it." I looked at him, feeling very open and vulnerable. I'd never told anyone my story before.

"How did he die?" he asked simply.

"We were on a mission. The whole night, things weren't right. Our floor plans for the building were wrong, one of my weapons was malfunctioning, and Dean sprained his ankle slightly on entry. We were gathering information on an arms auction that was happening, basically. We entered the holding-viewing room and the dealer was in there with men. I've never been able to work out what happened in that room, why there were there ore why some of them left. Why they only shot Dean and then just let me kill them. At least I'm assuming that that's what happened. Like I said, I don't remember killing them. I have a vague memory of emptying a gun on the arms dealer's chest," I explained.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Not to devalue your story, but we've all had similar things happen. Party Poison and Kobra Kid are brothers, did you know that? Missile Kid and I lost her mother in the fires. The only thing I can say is that none of us had to watch our loved ones die like you did, though. We will never turn away Killjoys, and I know we would love to have you. Missile Kid really likes you," he said while giving my shoulders a squeeze. I looked at him, sort of awestruck.

"How can you be so nice to me? I've been nothing but horrible to you all. And I doubt Party Poison would care to have me around permanently."

"You're scared, we're scared. Nerves are thin. And Party isn't as bad as he looks, or has been acting towards you. He'll come around," he told me, helping me to my feet. I winced mightly and had to lean on him.

"Thanks, Jet," I said. My thoughts were taking me over. I had been able to tell from the beginning that they were like family. I would be willing to bed that they knew each other before the take over. For the first time since Dean passed away, I felt like I might be beginning to belong somewhere again.

"The name's Ray. You don't have to tell me yours, but I'm getting tired of having to use our Killjoy names all the time. I have to think about what I'm saying," he chuckled. "The others will probably tell you theirs too, pretty soon." We were making slow progress outside. I didn't focus on the building around me, I just focused on not putting too much weight on my bad leg.

"Mine is...Luciana. Luce or Lucy for short," I grunted. My leg wasn't holding much weight at all. Fun Ghoul joined us and helped hold me up.

"Are we exchanging names now?" he asked.

Ray nodded and said, "Yeah, and this is Luciana, or Luce-slash-Lucy, as she likes to be called."

"Luciana, I am now formally introducing myself as Frank," he said to me as they helped me into the passenger seat of the Trans-Am.

"Hi, Frank," I replied, attempting to smile. My leg was on fire and I felt a little dizzy. "How long was I here?"

"Um...a couple of days..." Ray mumbled.

"You're shitting me right?" I exclaimed, completely astounded. He shook his head. "So since I've met you all, I've spent more time unconscious than waking? And I managed to get myself hurt pretty badly and hand to let strangers take care of me? I'm going soft." I laughed out lout, but the action pained me. I was willing to bet that if I stripped down to nothing and examined my body in a mirror, I'd have more bruised than normal skin, at least on my torso.

Ray and Frank both laughed at me, hopping into the back of the car. "Hey, I think we're gonna get running water tomorrow, Luce. Show Pony likes to do that kind of stuff and he said he thought he could get it working. That means we all get to shower!" Frank shouted excitedly as Kobra and Party walked out, swinging Missile Kid between them, everyone all smiles. I hadn't seen Party smile like that before, and it shocked me how pleasantly transformed his face was. His smile was easy and open and his eyes crinkled in a true smile. Party's eyes met mine for a second and the smile never faltered. I felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards in return.

Notes

Title: "The Permanent Rain" by The Dangerous Summer

So I apologize for any formatting issues that may come up...something is seriously fucked with this thing.