There's nothing left to Destroy

Frank's pov


"Shh babe it's okay, take deep breaths." I said rocking me and Gerard slowly, he cried into my chest. I hated seeing him have panic attacks, this was his third one tonight. He looked so tired and broken, he held onto me tightly. "Shhh Gee, it's okay now, I'm here babe." I whispered trying to comfort him, he just cried into my chest, his breaths came in jagged gasps. He cried himself out and fell asleep, I laid back down with him with in my arms. "It's okay babe, I'm never leaving you." I whispered not expecting a response from Gerard who was whimpering in his sleep. I ran my hand through his hair and he stopped twitching but still made quite whimpers. After a while of listening to his jagged breaths and whimpers I fell asleep for about four hours.
I woke up, Gerard was still alseep instead of him being in my arms he had his arms wrapped around my waist. He looked extremely tired even though he was asleep. His whole body jumped and he took in a deep breath, he looked around panicked. "It's okay Gee." I said kissing his head and sitting up, he didn't respond, he looked dazed. "Gerard?" I asked concerned, still no response. He sat up and crawled into my lap resting his head on my chest. "Why am I such a bad person?" He whispered, tears were streaming down his face. "Your not a bad person Gerard, your amazing, beautiful, perfect." I said kissing his head, he looked at me and gave a sad smile. "Your too good to be here, you shouldn't be here with me Frankie." He said trailing a hand down my face, I leaned into his touch. "Gerard I love you, I'm gonna get us out of here, I promise I will never leave you no matter what. We are gonna start a family and life an amazing life." I said, his eyes lit up a little but he still looked sat. "I would like that." I said hugging me, I hugged back, we sat there like that for a good ten minutes. "Together forever Ger bear." I laughed kissing his cheek, he giggled a little bearing his facein my chest. It was seven in the morning, breakfast wasn't until nine but I know Gerard would eat and I wasn't hungry. "I'm sleepy." He yawned snuggling into my arms, I laid back down and rubbed his back as he fell asleep. In minutes he was sound asleep, he looked peaceful and didn't whimper anymore. I trailed my hand down his side, I could feel his ribs and hip bones popping out. He was so skinny, he needed to eat something or he was going to get sick. I was so worried about him, he's had so many panic attacks every day and night, he barely eats, he barely sleeps because of his panic attacks. I love him so much, I need him to be okay no matter what, he needs to be happy. I fell asleep for another five hours will Gerard in my arms.
"Frankie?" Gerard said quitly, I mumbled a response and liked over at the clock, it was twelve. "Yeah babe." I yawned looking down at him, he smiled up at me and kissed me. "Hi." He said against my mouth, I smiled still kissing him. "Hi." I said back still kissing him, he giggled and pulled away. "I'm really hungry." He said, I was relieved that he was hungry and final wanted to eat. "Well lunch is starting so let's go." I said getting up and getting my grey sweater and black skinny jeans on, Gerard wrapped his arms around my waist and pressing his forhead against my back. "I love you." He said, I turned around and kissed him passionately. "Love you too babe." I said back, he pulled away slowly and get his black skinny jeans and a black hoodie on. "Carry me." Gerard said in his little kid voice and pouting his lip, I picked him up with ease which was very concerning. I carried him to the cafeteria and set him down at the table, Brendon and Patrick were talking about comic books. I got grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, Gerard was going to love this. I set the food in front of him and he ate half of the sandwich and half of his soup, better than nothing. Brendon started a conversion with Gerard about movies. "Watchman is my favorite movie and Nightmare before Christmas." Gerard said excitedly, Brendon and him went on and on and Nighmare before Christmas. We all got up and went to the lounge, Pokemon was playing which was cool. "I haven't watched this in such a long time." Gerard said sitting on my lap, Patrick sat next to Brendon leaning against him. Gerard started to sing the theme song and I joined in, I actually remembered the song. "That's great." Brendon laughed with Patrick, me and Gerard laughed with them. "This is not a drill! Everyone to their rooms now!" Susan ran in, all the the nurses got all the patients to their rooms, me and Gerard ran to our room with Patrick and Brendon. "You guys should be in our room." I said, Patrick and Brendon agreed, we went into our room and shut the door and it locked automatically. Brendon and Patrick sat on Gerard's bed, we didn't use it because Gerard slept with me in my bed. I sat down and Gerard sat next to me clinging onto my side. He was breathing heavily he looked extremely pale. "No, no, no, no, not again." He said digging his nails into my arm, please don't have a panic attack. "Shhh Gee bear, it's okay, everything is okay, just listen to my voice." I said rubbing his back, he nodded and crawled into my lap. I hummed softly and he leaned his head against my chest closing his eyes. We sat there for about ten minutes, no one made a noise. Gerard's breaths become normal again and he yawned, I kept humming softly to him, that was normally the only thing that calmed him down. His head slid down and then back up again, he was trying to stay awake and it looked so cute. "Okay everyone code red is clear." The intercom said, Gerard was already sleep in the lap. "That was scary." Brendon said, Patrick pointed at Gerard, Brendon nodded and they said goodbye. After they left I laid Gerard on the bed and went to the bathroom, I came back and Gerard was still asleep. "Mikey?" He said roling over, he mumbled something I couldn't hear after that. "Mikey?" He said again and then said something else I couldn't hear. He roled over again and hugged the pillow still mumbling stuff I couldn't make out. I laid next to him, he roled over again and hugged me, he kept twitching and saying things in slid sleep. He can't have one hour of peaceful sleep, he's tired all the time. "Why are you leaving me here?" He said, he was crying in his sleep, I rubbed his back calmly trying to get him to settle down again. "No! Please come back!" He called out in his sleep, I kept rubbing his back and pulled him into my chest, I hummed softly and he calmed down right away. I wiped the tears off of his cheeks, and watched him sleep.

Gerard's pov
Frank was humming slofty with his arms wrapped around me, his humming calmed me down. His chest vibrated against my ear as he hummed some random song, I snuggled in. My nightmares have been getting worse, and my panic attacks are very frequent. I hate waking Frank up when I have one, he calms me down though, he's the only one that can. I absentmindedly traced patters on to his chest, he kept humming and kissed my head. "Hey babe." He said, I smiled up at him, he made me so happy. "Hey Frankie." I said kissing him back. I got up to use the bathroom, the floor was freezing like normal. I looked up at the mirror, I looked like shit like normal. My eyes looked dead, I was extremely pale, I had dark circles under my eyes, my ribs were popping out. "Worthless, ugly, your a fuck up Gerard, you don't deserve Frank, you deserve pain, misery. I wanted to cut my self so badly, I needed a razor blade, but there was none. I took the hair brush and broke the ending off, there was shark jagged edges of plastic sticking out. I dragged it over my arm, it hurt like hell but I deserved it. Twenty new cuts later I cleaned the blood up, put everything away, roled my sleeves down and walked out of the bathroom. Frank smiled at me lovingly, I walked back to him and laid next to him. Frank leaned over and kissed me, I weakly kissed back and roled over. "What's wrong?" Frank asked confused. "Just tired." I said, Frank wrapped a arm around me and brought me closer nuzzling my neck. I closed my eyes and acted like I was asleep, he must have thought I was alseep because he ran his hand through my hair, it felt really good. "I love you Gee." He whispered to me not waiting for a response. "I just want you to be happy Gee." He whispered, his breaths becoming gagged, after a few minutes of listening to him cry I roled over and gave him a hug. "Please don't cry because of me." I said bearing my face in his chest, he sniffed and stopped crying after a while. I looked up at him and sat up being him up with me. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life Gerard, I want you to be mine forever no matter what. You make me happy and I want you to be happy, we will get out of this place and we will run away together. Gerard will...will you marry me?" Frank said, I looked at him in shock, did you just ask me to marry him. "Yes! Fucking yes!" I said kissing him, he smiled widely against my lips. He stood up with me in his arms and spun me around still kissing me. "Oh my god this is seriously the best day of my life." He said hugging me tightly, I was overwhelmed with joy, but then sadness. Frank stopped kissing me and looked considered. "What's wrong?" He asked setting me down, I felt tears roling down my face, I didn't look at him as I slowly roled my sleeves up to show him my cuts. He didn't make a sound, I looked at him, he looked like he wanted to cry. "Babe, why would you do that to your beautiful body?" He asked taking my wrists light in his hands. "I'm worthless, fucked up, ugly, I deserve pain for what I've done." I said, he wiped my tears away and kissed me. "Your fucking beautiful Gerard, your not fucked, your so perfect, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He said kissing me again. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." I said laying next to him, I was seriously so tired I was going to pass out, I yawned loudly and rested my head in his chest. I heard his hear beat, it's rhythm thumping lulled me to sleep.

Notes

Hey guys, sorry for not posting in a while, hope you liked it <3