I should have never been driving

As my eyes fluttered open I could see floating dust particles through the small crack in my black-out curtains, unless I turn the light on its the only source of light in the room.
the smell of coffee wafted downstairs to the basement that is my room, dad must have made some like he normally does before he leaves for work.
All my attempts to sit up in bed failed as my sheets tightened around my torso. My half asleep gaze drifted to my right where I found Mikey asleep on top of the covers next to me. He must have had another nightmare, by my calculations that's the third one in the last week alone.
I shimmied out of the tight embrace of the bed sheets and gently shook Mikeys shoulder to wake him up so that he wasn't late for his first day at a new school.
I proceeded to swing my legs out of bed and pulling one of the curtains with me I began to parkour through the maze of boxes I have yet to unpack and material canvases draped all over the place. Its been three weeks since we up and left my home town and if im at all honest it kinda sucks here, we had a curfew back at home anyway because its New Jersey but it used to bother me, not so much now because there's fuck all to do in this town.
Its a real surprise I didn't hear Mikey come into my room last night, the stairs that lead down to the basement squeak like there's no tomorrow, that and he's clumsy as hell so I'm just glad he didn't break anything or hurt himself trying to get to my bed. I climbed over to my dresser and rummaged through the drawers to find an outfit to wear. After five minutes of rummaging through the countless band shirts and skinny jeans I managed to pick out a misfits shirt and my best pair of ripped skinnies.
pulling my jeans over my boxers I heard something break behind me, "you're up then" I say holding in my amusement. I spin around to face my kid brother sitting up in my bed, "mooorrrning gee" Mikey yawned, his eyes suddenly piercing through me "you... you look like yourself today Gee". "that's what I was trying to avoid" i called behind me as i traipsed up the basement stairs.
As I got to the kitchen the smell of coffee got stronger. I walked over to the counter and poured myself a cup of the black liquid. Once I drank the last of my cup I lit up a cigarette that i had already tucked behind my ear, the last one on my dresser. I must remember to buy some more after school today. "First day, new start. don't you dare fuck this up Gerard" I murmured to myself as I inhaled the smoke.
Mikey bounced up the stairs, I can see that my kid brother was trying so hard to act like his regular self, the way he was before the accident. Its been nearly four months since I lost control of my dads SUV, me and Mikey made it with a few bumps and bruises but his girlfriend wasn't so lucky. It tore him apart, it tore me apart for what I did to him.
It was icy, there had been weather warnings all evening but I couldn't just let them walk home from the school dance in the freezing cold in New Jersey. I had one job, protect my brother but I couldn't even do that. I hurt him more than I thought imaginable.
It nearly killed me to watch him fall apart when the doctors decided to turn off her life support. i never in a million years ever meant to hurt my baby brother.
"ready Gee?" I heard Mikey say. I must have been daydreaming again because before I knew it Mikey was waving his hands in front of my face. "woah... what? wait.. how long have you been standing there?"
"I've been trying to get your attention for no less than three minutes, you okay?" Mikey said softly brushing past me to pick up his scarf on the back of the chair i was leaning on "yeah.. no. I'm fine. lets go"
We were five minutes away from school when Mikey piped up "you blame yourself don't you?" I shuddered, stuffing my hands in my pockets and looking at the ground "I shouldn't have been driving Mikes, she'd still be here if I had been more careful, if I had just payed a little bit more attention to how slippery the road was she would be okay. its my fucking fault" I wiped my eyes on my sleeve blocking my face from his view.
He stopped in his tracks, pulled me back, wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. "Don't Gee. Just don't. you picked me and Kayla up because you cared, so that we didn't get mugged or worse on our way home, not to mention it was below freezing that night. its not your fault" Mikey muffled into my neck.
He let go and tugged at my sleeve to keep walking "come on, lets get to school" he said wiping his tears "okay" was all I could muster as I fixed his glasses and pulled his scarf up around his neck properly as it was frosty as fuck out here.
when we got to the gates I turned to my brother and told him to meet me at this spot at 3pm and not to wander off because god knows he cant defend himself. he nodded and we walked inside, well Mikey walked inside. I walked into a cloud of smoke coming from the lips of a guy with messy black hair and bright hazel eyes sitting on the wall next to me.
His guylined hazel eyes scanned my red messy hair all the way down to my converse and smirked stubbing out his cigarette.he dropped it, jumped off the wall he was sitting on and walked inside.
"Gee you walking me to class or not?" I heard Mikey call from a few meters away. "huh?.. yeah, sure... sorry. im coming" I said, my head drifting out of a dazed state. I walked Mikey to first period making myself automatically late. "have a good first day kiddo" I mumbled patting his shoulder and wandering off to find my first class.
I finally found my first lesson, biology. As I walked inside I felt the piercing stares from the majority of the preppy kids. I took a few steps and found myself at the teachers desk and began to say in a hushed voice "sorry im late, im ne-" but got cut of with a very unenthusiastic "sit over there with Frank" I followed the teachers finger and my heart sank when I saw 'Frank'. It was the guy who has not more than fifteen minutes ago looked me up and down and smirked.
fuck.

Notes

Hello my lovely's
okay, so this isn't my first fanfic but I've made a new account and deleted the old one.. so i really hope you enjoy this one so far.. leave a comment if you want more.
ya'll keep being ya'll :)