*Wednesday


Today is the day. The way brothers and Pete are coming over for dinner tonight and I have been excited for this since Friday when my mom suggested having them over. I got to school a little early today; I couldn’t sleep and I was going crazy just sitting at home listening to mom talk about whatever the hell was going on in the newspaper. Class wasn’t interesting and the only good part about my morning was that I got to walk to class with Gerard. When Gee and I met after fourth, we didn’t have to wait for Mikey; him and Pete started walking everywhere together so we really only saw Mikey at school during lunch. When we got to the table, Mikey and Pete were the only ones there and they were having a discussion about which Star Wars character was better.
“I’m telling you right now that you’re crazy if you really think Darth Vader is more important than Hans throughout the movies.” Pete exclaimed.
“You’re argument is so invalid Pete. Darth Vader is from the dark side and everyone knows the dark side of the force is a much cooler fucking side than the light side of the force” Mikey was using his hands a lot while talking and it was funny to see how defensive he was getting over Star Wars.
“Everything ok here, boys? Gerard asked with a chuckle.
“Ugh, everything is fine Gee. We were just having an argume-“
“Heated discussion! Not an argument. We don’t argue.” Pete interrupted Mikey.
“Yeah… a ‘heated discussion’ if that’s what we’re calling it, about star wars. What are y’all up to?”
“We were just talking about the new song Frankie’s been writing. I’m trying to convince him to play it for us tonight after dinner.” Gee said, nudging me with his shoulder.
“Oh you so should. I’d love to hear it! I’m actually really excited about tonight. It’s gonna be fun and it will be cool to meet your mom!” Mikey said smiling
“Y’all just wait, ok. Franks mom is the coolest ever. Every great thing we all love about Frank, he gets from his mom. She’s completely and utterly badass as far as moms go.” Pete had met my mom on several occasions. Ray, Bob and him have come over a lot to hangout and play some music together or have movie marathons. We’d always agree to go to my house while hanging out because my dad was hardly ever home and my mom either left us alone or joined in on whatever we were doing. She caught us smoking cigarettes one time and told us we were idiots and that we were too young to be destroying ourselves so soon, but she said that we were going to do it anyway if we really wanted to do it so she couldn’t really stop us. She proceeded to take a cigarette and smoke one with us, telling her story about when she was our age and smoked cigarettes, but eventually stopped when she found out she was pregnant with me at twenty-years-old.
“My mother is the coolest person I know honestly,” I said with a laugh. “And she’s really excited to meet you two and to see Pete so tonight’s going to be pretty good I think”
“Seriously, can’t wait Frankie. I’ve been thinking about this since Monday when you invited us!” Gerard blushed and had a scared look on his face like he shouldn’t have said he’d been thinking about tonight all week; he quickly changed the subject and we carried on, having a normal lunch.
I talked to Ray, Gee and Bob most of lunch about music stuff and guitars. Christa tried to include herself a few times but she honestly didn’t know what the hell she was talking about and she eventually just gave up. I don’t know why she sits with us everyday when all her friends are in the same lunch period. I mean, I don’t mind her being around but this poor girl has to get bored with all our music talk. The bell rang, sending us all up and out of chairs and heading to our next classes. “Ok Pete and Mikey, just meet at my car after school and I’ll take us all to my house. Sound good?”
“Sure thing. See you and Gee after school!” Mikey and Pete smiled and walked away towards their class.
“And I will see you after this class period” Gerard put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me. He’s so beautiful. How can a guy be so damn pretty? I don’t get it.
“Yeah Gee, I’ll see you when we head to Gym” Gerard turned and walked to his art class while Ray and I headed to Math.

---

We had talked some more the day before while walking to class about the “Me & Gee” situation. I told Ray about everything Gerard had told me when I drove him home on Monday, so he knew Gerard was gay. I felt kind of bad at first when I told Ray, like I had shared one of Gee’s secrets, but Gerard ended up saying something about himself being gay on Tuesday during lunch so I didn’t feel so bad after that. I also started talking to Ray about me having feelings for Frank, which to my surprise wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Ray made me feel so comfortable about it; like it was nothing new and we were just casually talking. I didn’t come out and say I was gay or anything, but I told Ray about how Gee made me feel and I might as well have said I was.
“Frank, I’m telling you that guy has a thing for you. The way he looks at you, and constantly finds some way to touch you, you’ve got this kid hooked!” Ray said with a chuckle.
“Oh stop, ray. We’re just friends!”
“Give it up Iero, y’all may be friends right now, but that’s not going to last. Once he finds out how you’re feeling, you two are going to fall hard for each other.”
“Ray, seriously, stop. We don’t even know if he likes me like that. Just because he’s gay doesn’t automatically make him attracted to me.”
“No, you’re right, it doesn’t. But his little sly comments and his heart eyes do” Ray was amused by this and I know he was enjoying the entertainment of watching Gerard and I nonchalantly flirt with each other the last two days.
“Whatever you say Toro, but I still think you’re wrong. Gerard doesn’t have feelings for me, he’s just a really nice guy and you’re reading his body language wrong” I really didn’t know if Gerard liked me or not. I mean, sometimes I would get that vibe from him but then other times I got the vibe that he honestly only saw me as a friend. It was confusing in every way. I had never paid attention to if people flirted with me, so I truly had no clue if Gee was or not. Ugh, I wish I wasn’t so damn inexperienced with this.
“Well I think he does and you’re blind if you don’t think he does. Mikey and Pete even said something about it.”
“They did?” I didn’t know Mikey or Pete were even paying attention to Gerard and I.
“Oh yeah. Mikey was saying that it was too bad you were straight because he could see you and Gerard working out perfectly together and Pete agreed, mentioning to Mikey that he had never seen you with a girl before. They looked over at me for some kind of answer but all I said is that I didn’t know and we didn’t talk about it.”
“Oh my gosh… Mikey really said that? He thinks Gee and I would be a good match?”
“Yes you giddy little fuck, Mikey said that.” I didn’t realize how excited I sounded until Ray called me giddy. But how could I not be? Gerard’s little brother, basically his best friend, had said that Gee and I would “work out perfectly”. That meant Mikey would approve of me and that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“Are you ready for tonight?”
“Well yeah. We’re just hanging out and having dinner with my mom”
“Yeah, but aren’t you nervous?”
“No? Why would I be nervous…”
“Because your mom is meeting the Way brothers, you just so happen to have a bit of a crush on one of them and they’re seeing your house for the first time. None of that makes you nervous?” Shit...
“Well it didn’t Ray, until now!” Why the hell would Ray say that? Was I supposed to be nervous about this? Is tonight supposed to go a certain way? Should I have planned this a little better? I’ve got a million questions running through my head now and I have no answers to any of them. Great.
“Well I guess if you’re not nervous then there’s nothing to worry about. It will be fun!”
“Yeah… thanks, Ray. Now I feel great about it.”
“Oh come on, I wasn’t trying to make you nervous. I was just wondering if you were or not. No reason to be nervous. Like you said, just some friends hanging out, except for Pete and Mikey who are in a relationship of course. Y’all are going to have fun, plus your mom will be there and she makes every situation better.” That was true, mom always made uncomfortable situations better. She is a gifted woman. We went to math and left math, waving bye as usual and heading our separate ways. One more class till everything started. I had waited since Friday night for this evening. I have been so excited about it so I’m not going to let my nervousness ruin it for me.

---

Gerard and I met at our normal spot; walked to class, changed while trying to hide the fact we were completely checking each other out. Ya know, same stuff, different day. After class, Gerard insisted on taking a shower before we left.
“Dude, nobody cares if you smell bad”
“I do! I care! I don’t want to smell bad all night… and I don’t want to meet your mom for the first time looking all disgusting” I couldn’t help but smile at the fact Gee wanted to impress my mom. That was adorable.
“Ok fine, but make it quick. I told the guys we would meet them at my car. I don’t want them to have to sit out there for a while”
“Oh of course not, wouldn’t dream of making the lover boys possibly wait a few minutes outside your jeep” Gerard said with a sarcastic tone while rolling his eyes as he walked towards the showers. I started changing back into my regular clothes and getting ready to leave. I sat down on the bench waiting for Gerard to finish up in the shower and that’s when it hit me that I would get to see Gerard naked with nothing but a towel on and his hair wet again. I let the thought wander in my head until I pushed it out and collected myself. Shit, the thought of him like that made my dick a little hard. I can’t deal with this right now, not at this moment. I’ve got to get out of here now. I walk down the hall to where the showers are and I yell out to Gerard, “Hey Gee, I’m going to head to the parking lot and meet up with the guys so they don’t worry or anything. Just meet us out there?” I stood there and watched as Gerard slightly opened the curtain of the shower he was in, not exposing his entire body, but sharing just enough to make my heart race and allow the butterflies to flutter.
“You’re really not going to wait for me? I’m almost done Frankie.” Gerard pouted. Well fuck, now I’ve really got to get out of here before my little problem becomes a big problem and there will be nowhere to hide it.
“uhh…um sorry Gee, I… I want to see Ray before he leaves! Yeah, so just meet me out there ok?”
“Yeah ok. I’ll see y’all in a minute”
I turned around and walked as fast as I could out of the locker room without seeming like something was wrong. I have never been so attracted to someone in my life. I have never seen a half naked guy and been turned on. I guess half naked girls didn’t turn me on either, though. I really need to just admit it to myself… I know it’s true, that I like Gerard. I like Gerard a lot actually and not just in the friendly way anymore. This was so different from anything I’ve ever felt. I tried convincing myself at first that all these feelings were just me being excited about a new friend but that’s a sack of shit. We all know that. Gerard gave me feelings, true and real feelings that I hadn’t experienced before and I know that can only mean one thing.

I’m gay. There, I said it to myself! I’m gay. I’m not going to go shout it from the rooftop but it’s about damn time I’ve accepted it. No, I haven’t kissed a guy or flirted with a guy or had any kind of relationship with a guy, but I’m still pretty sure that I’m gay. I’ve kissed girls before and didn’t feel a thing. I’ve never even had the urge to kiss a girl that I thought was pretty (except for Lana of course) but I had the urge to kiss Gerard, that’s for sure. Gerard Way has officially made me realize that I am not interested in girls, but I’m certainly interested in him. Now I just need to focus on not making my feelings for Gee obvious. I really don’t want him to know I have a thing for him and scare him off or something. I mean, I know it wouldn’t scare him off because he’s gay too, but if he doesn’t feel the same way about me, I don’t want him to start acting weird towards me or anything. That would hurt far too much.

---

I walked to my jeep where Mikey and Pete were already standing.
“There you are! Where’s Gee?” asked Mikey
“Oh he wanted to shower so I told him to just meet us out here when he was done. Shouldn’t take him much longer, he was almost done when I left the locker room”
“Oh ok!”
“Hey Ray, can I talk to you for a second?” I ask Ray sounding like a nervous wreck. He could tell something was up.
“Ye-yeah of course. Hop in my car until Gerard gets out here”
I got into the passenger seat and Ray slid into the drivers seat. I was looking straight ahead and breathing heavy.
“Ok, calm down Frank. What happened?” Ray looked so concerned and for some reason that calmed my nerves a little bit.
“J-just l-let me talk o-ok?” I said with a shaky voice.
“Ok Frank, whatever you need” Ray put his hand on my shoulder and my tensed up muscles relaxed. Three minutes had gone by and I was just starring straight ahead trying to figure out my words, Ray looking at me and waiting for my mouth to open.
“Ray…”
“Yes?”
“It’s true. It’s all true. You were right, about everything.”
“I was right about what?”
“Me… I… Ray, I’m gay” I said it out loud. I fucking said it out loud for the first time and it was to Ray. I felt tears flood my eyes and soon run down my cheeks. Before I knew it, Ray was grabbing me and holding me in a tight hug. I lost it at that point. I was bawling into Ray’s shirt and he was holding me like a little girl.
“Hey, stop that. Don’t cry Frank. There is nothing to cry about. I’m so proud of you dude. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you right now, but I’m here. Just… don’t cry. It’s ok, everything is ok. Nothing is different about you. You’re still same old Frank. I mean think about it, you’ve always been gay. You’re just realizing it though now so it feels like something’s different but it’s really not. Now maybe you can find someone who can make you happy. God, I want you to be so happy Frank. This is a good thing, not a bad, so please don’t cry bub. I love you, man” Rays words were soothing to my soul and they made me stop crying. Once again, he was right. Nothing is new about me. I’m just learning to accept myself now and that’s a good thing. I feel stronger right now than I ever have in my entire life. I break free from Ray’s hold and just look at him for a second.
“Are you sure this doesn’t change anything between us, Ray?”
“Frank, I’ve thought you were gay since 9th grade. It didn’t change how I felt about you back then, and it sure as hell doesn’t change anything now just because you’ve finally realized it yourself and said it”
“What did I ever do to deserve you as my best friend? You’re the greatest guy I know”
“Feeling is mutual bub. You know I’m not going anywhere. We are fucking brothers Frank. I am more proud of you today than I have ever been. Now, are you ok?”
“Yeah… I think so. I was just overwhelmed for a minute.”
“What made you decide to come out and say it all of the sudden? Because you were still really hesitant about it when we were walking to math like what, two hours ago?”
“Yeah, about that. Umm… this is embarrassing. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about this kind of stuff with you yet and I really don’t think you’re ready for it either”
“Shut up and just tell me. I’m ready for it… I’ve been ready for this before you were ready for this” He made a valid point.
“Ok… well, Gerard was showering and I kind of thought about him in just a towel and his hair wet and, well, it made me get slightly… hard. Then I went to tell him I was going to head to my car because I didn’t want to see him in just a towel and get hard in front of him, and he opened the shower curtain showing his chest and it just slapped me in the face. I had never felt so gay in my entire life Ray. I mean, I was so turned on by this guy. I’m still a little turned on at the sight of him in steam and his hair drenched.” I think I went a little too far with the visual aids.
“Ok I get it Frank, Gerard is a hot motherfucker” Ray was laughing. “But you’re ok now, right?”
“Yeah Ray, I’m ok. Guess I just needed to get it off my chest finally. I’m glad I did, I feel way better.”
“Good. I’m glad you finally said it and I’m glad I could be here for you. I love you Frank”
“Love you too, Ray. Thanks. For everything”
“Don’t thank me. This is what I’m here for. Now go get in your car, Gerard is walking over and y’all have a fun night ahead of you!”
“Oh yeah, tonight… should I… Say something?”
“No, not tonight. Just be normal, like nothing has changed. Nothing has changed so there’s nothing to be worried about. Go have fun ok and try not to stare at Gee’s ass, its kind of nice” Ray said with a smirk.
“You’ve checked out Gerard’s ass? Is there something you’re trying to tell me, Toro?”
Ray was laughing pretty hard which caused me to laugh “No Frank! I’m totally kidding with you!”
“Oh ok, if you say so Ray. But just so we’re clear, find your own guy. I saw Gee first”
“Deal Frank. If I want a Gerard, I’ll go find my own”
I shook my head and smiled, giving Ray a hug before I got out of the car. I waved bye as I shut the door and Ray drove off.

---

“Is everything ok Frank?” Mikey and Pete looked concerned. I didn’t even think about the fact they probably saw everything that just happened in Ray’s car. Luckily they didn’t hear it though.
“Yes everything is fine. Just needed to talk to Ray about something”
They looked at me, then looked at each other with a look that they should ask more questions to get to the bottom of what happened, but Gerard walked up right as Pete was about to open his mouth. There was another reason I could add to why Gee was the best.
“Hey! Sorry that took longer than I thought it was going to. Are you guys ready?”
“Yep we are good to go. Lets head out”
Everyone climbed in my car, Gee taking the passenger seat, Pete and Mikey climbing in the back.
“Frank, has Gerard been drooling all over your car since Monday? Everything about this Jeep is his dream car”
I laughed, “Yeah, Gee told me. He’s pretty fond of it”
“How could you not be? This is a beautiful fucking car,” Gerard said, petting the dashboard. We drove off and Gerard put in a Black Flag CD, which we all enjoyed. We pulled up to my house and we all made our way out of the car, walking to my front door.
“What’s your mom making for dinner tonight, Frankie?” Gerard asked.
“I’m pretty sure she said she was making lemon chicken pasta with broccoli. It’s so good, trust me.” I said feeling my mouth start to water.
“That sounds so fucking good,” Gerard said as he closed his eyes and over exaggeratedly licked his lips.
“Oh, it is. Y’all just wait! My mom is an incredible cook, isn’t she Pete?”
“Hell yes she is. I will never turn down a meal that Mrs. Iero has made” I laughed and nodded at Pete.
“I seriously can’t wait to meet this woman” Said Gerard, “She sounds too good to be true”

Notes

I felt like so much is going on in this chapter that it really needed to be split into two, so I will try to post the second half tomorrow! Let me know any thoughts you have (: I'd love to hear how you're feeling about the story or if there's anything you want to see in an upcoming chapter!

XoXo