We're Damned After All, Aren't We?

It was cold. I don't mean 32° or below, I mean -20°. I should know, im drowning in a lake as we speak.

The situation I had gotten myself into was quite a sticky one. I had been wondering around in the dead of winter, drunk as fuck, when I came across a lake. Now, any logical person would have turned tail and went inside to make some warm tea, but I was a stupid drunk. When I saw it I immediately thought, "I bet I could walk across that motherfucker." I'm sure you can guess what happens next. I stumbled, fell, broke the ice, and fell in. Now I'm where I am now, complaining about how cold the water is.

I tried to get back to the surface, but I had lost my sense of where the hole was. I scratched the ice but it had no effect. When my drunken state realized this was how I was going to die, i started to panic. I started to try to swim to the top, but it was too late. I eventually gave in and let the dark blue color engulf me.

When I woke up again, I wasn't at the bottom of the lake, I was on dry land, or rather cold ass snow, with a body hovering over me. When I came to my senses, which were all full of water and needing some air, I sat up and threw up as much water as I could get out. The figure that woke me up was patting my back and helping me get all the water out. When I eventually had been able to breath correctly again, the figure said "Can you stand?" I stood up without difficulty, which was surprising. Soon the figure said "Come, walk with me." I was kinda confused about what he said but I felt my feet carry me after him.

When I caught up to him he said "I might as well tell you." I gave him a confused look and said "Tell me what?" He stopped and said "Well, you're dead." When he said those words, I froze (ha puns) in place. "W-what?! No, I'm not?! Shouldn't I be in Heaven or hell?" The man took a deep breath and said "Technically, you should. But you're special. You don't get to go to either. I wont lie to you, i am the big man downstairs. I go by Lucifer, but i have many names. Any normal person would go to heaven or hell. instead, I will give you 2 options. Number one, you can stay on earth as a so-called spirit. You won't be able to communicate with the living for as long as you spend your time here. Number two is that you become a reaper. You get to greet people after they die, and take them to their rightful place. Be careful with what you choose. Once you choose, you can't undo it." I quickly took in all of this, and considered both options. I looked at the man in front of me and said "I want to be a reaper." In one breath. The man smiled and said "Welcome to the business." And snapped his fingers.

That night took place about 150 years ago. Ever since then I've worked my way up to the top of the food chain. I was good old Satan's favorite. I was one of the best reapers there were.

I had been doing this for awhile. I had learned how to get out of the worst situations and deal with the people who tried to avoid their fate.

I was sitting on my couch, enjoying my Saturday night when a address popped onto my mind. I sighed and quickly snapped my fingers, appearing at the scene in a instant. It was a scene I got a lot actually, a car, completely totaled, with a teenager inside. It wasn't long before the car was going to exploded, and then teen was killed the moment the car hit the tree. I figured "might as well drag him out, no good if the body is unidentifiable."

I quickly grabbed his body and dragged him about 15 feet away before the explosion happened. And my oh my, it was a big one. As I finally laid him down, he sprang up, unaware of his own body beneath him. The dead couldn't see their bodies until they were aware of their own death. He immediately asked a popular question with the dead, "What happened?" I decided id tell him once he was calm. I said "You were in a car crash, but we need to get away from the car." I grabbed him and pulled him at least another 15 feet away. When he had calmed down a little bit he asked again, "What happened?" I decided on answering truthfully. "Like I said, there was a car accident, but you didn't make it, I'm sorry." He looked over to where we were just moments before and saw his own body. I was expecting his to cry, scream, maybe even try to wake himself up, but instead he said "So I'm dead?" In a curious tone. I nodded my head yes and told him the whole Shazam.

While he was trying to figure everything out, I tried to figure out where he was going. I spent about 15 seconds looking (it usually takes about 6-7 seconds.) But still couldnt find anything. I sighed and realized I'd have to take him down to the big man downstairs. "Hey kid, I'm having some technical difficulties so you and I are gonna go on a little road trip." I put my hand on his shoulder and in a second we were down in the devils throne room. He didn't seem to surprised to see me but looked upset I came in unannounced. I walked up to him and said "I'd explain what's going on but I'm sure you already know." He nodded his head yes and said "Bring me the boy." I nodded and walked over to the teen. I gently grabbed his forearm and helped him stand up. I brought him over to Mr. Satan and watched as he gave him a quick look over. "On any other day, I would say leave him for the angels to decide. But i think we should keep him. Hell stay with you." I almost choked on air. "Excuse me? How am I suppose to be a reaper and watch out for this kid?" Lucifer shook his hand absent mindedly, "Don't worry about that, this kid is your #1 priority. Don't screw this up." Before I could argue anymore, I was back in my room, with the teen right by my side. I sighed and sat down. "Well kid, looks like I have to babysit you for the next couple weeks. I'm Frank Iero, by the way." I said, while pulling a cigarette out from the pack on the table. The teen, looking kinda scared said "I'm Gerard Way." I laughed and lit the cigarette while saying "Well, Gerard Way, you're gonna have a hell of a time being dead."

Notes

Yay first fic

Tell me if it's complete shit or not

Thank

-Sky