The Story I Paint, The Story You Chase

I couldn't sleep. What did Gerard mean? His words bounced around and echoed through my head. Did I really make it less lonely? Surely he must have friends of some sort. He couldn't possibly be alone. He was kind-hearted, and open. He was a good character and his personality drew people in, like a moth to a flame. He had to have some family, or friends. Maybe a brother or sister? It wasn't possible that he was simply alone all the time. Gerard wasn't like me, he wasn't alone, kicked out, working four jobs, a drop out, and he certainly wasn't a freak. Gerard was different, and why he let me live with him is completely beyond me. I don't understand it at all. I would pay part of his rent, sure, but that doesn't mean I should live here permanently. He was so sweet and kind to me. I couldn't pinpoint why he bothered letting me live with him. It wasn’t going to help him in the long run, I could assure him that. I was useless as could be. Maybe he needed to pay rent? Maybe he’d use me. No. Gerard doesn’t seem that way. He seems likes a really beautiful man. He’s beautiful on many levels. He’s not just beautiful outside, he’s beautiful on the inside and that’s something I wasn’t going to let slip, and the more I got to know him, the more open he got. It certainly factored into his overall beauty.
I tossed and turned for a while longer, the mattress making very little and inaudible noises. I might have fallen asleep around three in the morning, thinking about this wonderful man who was hospitable towards me. I can’t believe I managed, or was allowed to be here, with him. He was far too kind for his own good.
A pair of hands were on my waist, holding me close and tight. The warmth of who I was dancing with was radiating off them, keeping me warm. The glow of the room added a sense of romance to the whole situation before me. We swayed, and we spun slightly every now and then. My arms were around their neck up until the person moved one to their shoulder and put the other around their thin waist. They kept one very close to my hip, and held my hand with the other. We danced to a sweet, melancholic and infinitely sad song. It filled me with nostalgia and happiness at the exact same time. We danced as the person whispered sweet nothings into my ear as I leaned on their chest and listened to their steady heartbeat.

“You’re really beautiful, Frankie.” This time they spoke audibly. I knew that voice. It was the voice of a man I had met not long ago at all.

“No, that’s you. You’re far more beautiful than I am.” I found myself saying to the man. I could feel him smile and shake his head. “No, it’s true! You’re so beautiful. You’re like the stars, or the ocean… You’re a vast beauty and it’s enough to make anyone stop and stare.” I found myself admitting.
The scene shifted quickly. It was dark out, pouring, and I was crying really hard. I couldn’t control the tremors that shook my body. My heart breaking sobs echoed through the night. I was begging for something but not even I could make out my own words through the heavy rain, and the rumble of thunder. I walked. I walked as far away as I possibly could. Through streets and down alley ways that only people with a death wish would go through. All was dark, far too dark for my liking and I doubted anything good would come from it. Nothing good would come from it. That was proven as soon as thunder rumbled across the city, and lighting cracked across the vast sky, breaking it into too many pieces to count. A figure emerged from the shadows and gave me a sadistic grin. I couldn’t see the man’s eyes or face properly. What I could see was his smile and the glinting knife he held in his hand.

“Hello, Frankie dear, I’ve come to find you.” The voice was cruel, hoarse, and faking sweetness. I started backing away slowly. “It’s a shame you saw my murder, Frankie,” the way he said my name was off-putting and I hated it, “but someone needs to see the art I create.” He continues. “Now, now I must create more, with you.” He starts laughing and walks closer to me, pressing me against the back wall of a winding alley. “Such a shame, you’re so pretty.” With that he plunged the knife into my chest, and I screamed before the scene went black.
I woke Gerard and myself up with a blood curling scream. I was sweaty and couldn’t help but grab at my chest where the killer had stabbed me. I heard a thump and looked over, noticing that Gerard had fallen off his own bed. I felt bad for waking him up but I couldn’t help it. I started panting really hard, unable to contain my breathing, and my heart rate was far above normal. I shook hard and curled in on myself, trying to remain calm. I heard footsteps and soon looked up to notice that Gerard was right in front of me. He placed himself next to me, very close next to me, and almost pulled me into him but stopped before he did so.

“Talk to me.” He whispered and placed his hand on my knee, rubbing it gently for comfort reasons.

“I-I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” I choked out to him, hoping he wouldn’t get angry that I woke him up. Hopefully he understood, but why should he?

“Hey, hey, listen, it’ll be okay. Don’t worry about it. Do you want to talk about it?” He kindly asked and I nodded my head slowly. I was unsure. Did I want to talk to him about it or did I want to sit here, scared?

“I-I- At first the dream was really wonderful. It- I was dancing with someone,” Gerard’s face contorted into something I couldn’t quite read, “and we danced really close. We danced to this one melancholic song that I’ve heard before but can’t remember what it’s called. The man- I know him but only by the voice. I- and then everything went wrong. The whole scene switched. I- I was outside in the pouring rain and the man, the one who I saw, the murderer. He killed me. He knew me.” I explained and started sobbing harder than before. That’s when Gerard permitted himself to wrap his arms around me, and to pull me close to him.

“Frankie,” I stopped sobbing for a split second, realizing he was the man I danced with, and then my crying restarted, “it’s okay. Nobody can get you. Don’t cry. Come on, we’ll go paint, okay? Come on.” He gently pulled me up with him and turned the lights on. His soft hands trailed to mine and gently tugged. “Come on, I’m going to my work space. You should come with me. Let’s make a collaborative art piece. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.” I nodded slowly as he dragged me off to his work space. He only dropped my hands to pull out a large sheet and a pretty big canvas. “Can you lay the sheet over part of the bookshelf and the floor?” Gerard asked me and so I did exactly that while he pulled out two palettes, some paint, many paintbrushes, and many other materials to work with. He handed me some and with a grin he explained everything.
An hour later we were in hysterics, throwing paint at each other and making sure it fell on the sheet. Gerard wiped paint on my nose, so I painted his lips. We couldn’t control how hard we were laughing. Our painting was abstract and I loved every bit of it. It was a combination of blues, greens, and purples, as well as a few swirls of white, black, and silver. It was beyond odd looking but beautiful nonetheless. I slipped and fell right after, which ended in Gerard cackling and howling with laughter. “Oh my god!” He could barely breathe and he too fell next to me.

“That- that was amazing! Oh my god, can we do it again sometime?” I ask him, turning my head to face him.

“Yeah, of course. Maybe we can do this once a week, and maybe we can sell it. I can sell it for you. We’ll split it 70% you, 30% me. You need a job. This will be great until you find something really good. You want to be a musician.” I protested immediately.

“Gerard, no, it’s your supplies. I have four jobs and it’s okay.”

“No you don’t. You’re picking one that ends at six o’clock. You’re getting to New York with me and I’m picking you up from your job. You’re picking one, probably the bookshop?” He asked and earned a small nod from me. “We’re going to get you a better job. No more working four jobs at once. Also ask the owner or manager for a different shift and more days at the bookshop. Might have more business from me.” Gerard winked. A blush bloomed across my cheeks and I looked away.

“Okay. I’ll do that then.” I smiled and looked at him through my eyelashes. He was a wonder. He worked wonders that was for sure. I couldn’t get him out of my head and I barely knew him. He was so kind to me. I wanted to do something for him. I saw graffiti on my way here. And suddenly, I had the perfect plan to repay him for his kindness.

Notes