A Soul I Cannot Save...

The medicine Gerard had taken did serve to dull his fever. But it didn't stood a chance against the churning in his stomach. Gerard felt as if it was something else entirely. Perhaps food poisoning, he thought.

So, at 3:00 in the morning, Gerard was running to the toilet to empty his stomach. And again at 3:45, and at 4:10.

Mikey was thoroughly convinced that Gerard had contracted one of the viruses he'd read about on WebMD. The things he'd read on that site had kept Mikey awake many, many a night.

Gerard decided, once he could move without feeling a sudden wave of unwellness, to get some air. And to visit Frank. Gerard was a grade A homebody but he would get random bursts of extroversion and wanderlust which made it nearly impossible for him to stay cooped up in his room.

He knocked on Frank's door and waited. Gerard felt a bit of deja vu as he looked down at his feet. Frank opened the door and invited Gerard in.

"Hey." He said. Frank was a bit surprised that Gerard was coming to visit him without a direct invitation.

"Hi, I want to walk with you. If you're my guardian angel or whatever, I think we should should get to know each other."

They started walking down the block. They passed Mikey at the Liquor store. He didn't say anything, only stared. He did wonder when they'd gotten so friendly, though. Gerard was a dick to most people. Maybe Frank was his soft spot.

Gerard and Frank continued walking down, block after block, until the pavement ended and the trees stared. They walked into the sparse woods. Many of the trees there had already been cut down. This area was to be completely cleared and build over by the end of the following spring, as Gerard had told Frank. It made them feel equally as sick.

"What do you want to know about me?" Gerard asked, unsure as to how conversations such as these started.

"Everything. What do you like? What do you hate? Tell me something you haven't told anyone else." Frank replied.

"What I like? Not much at the moment, honestly. Hate? Everything. I don't feel as much as I used to. Oh, and something I haven't told anyone?" He paused. He had to think about that one.

"I don't think I miss my parents." He said. Frank looked a bit concerned Gerard gave him a weak smile and a shrug.

"You do remember them, right? Do you remember the night you're parents were killed?" Frank asked. He hoped Gerard wouldn't get upset.

Gerard tilted his head and bit his lip. He didn't remember what's happened that night. He only remembered being with Bert. Then being at home. Then Mikey running away. And police officers.

"No, I don't remember." He said after a while.

"Did you see it happen? You might have deeply suppressed the memory." Frank said, trying to make sense of Gerard's lack or remorse.

"No. I was with my boyfriend. My ex, actually. I don't remember coming home after that, but I do remember seeing my brother run from the house after it happened. I didn't think he was going to come back." Gerard finished. He started to cry. Frank held Gerard in his arms. It would've felt nice if Gerard weren't so sad.

Gerard loved his brother, Frank could clearly see that, and the thought of Mikey being gone forever crushed Gerard's spirit.

By the time Gerard was finished crying it was already dark. The absence of sunlight allowed the air to turn cold and a breeze began to swirl around both Frank and Gerard's cheeks, making them both shiver.

As they walked back the way Frank hoped they had came, he found himself overly ruinous about Gerard's ex. Sure, jealousy was a factor, but that wasn't the main reason. Frank decided not to pester Gerard about it in attempt to not seem like an envious jerk. They reached the house and went their separate ways.

They both slept extremely well, mosquito bites aside.

Notes