Please don't leave me

I slung myself onto my bed when I got home.
Fuck me.
Fuck Miss Meadows.
Fuck life.
Wanna know what happened between me and Frank last month?
Well I'm thinking about it all over again.



*Flashback*
"So whatcha wanna talk about then Gee? Why did you invite me over to talk?" Frank smiles nudging my elbow gently with his.
We went over and sat on my starwars themed bed, I looked at him and couldn't help but smile and blush, he did the same.
"I love you Frankie."
"I love you too Gee." He leant over and planted a small kiss on my cheek.
"We've been going out for a year now."
"Yeh.. I'm aware of that haha!" Frankie smiled brightly it lit up the room. "...And?" He added.
"We still haven't... Ya know... Kissed yet."
Franks smile soon turned into a frown. "You know what happened to me Gee, I'm scared of that stuff.."
"Yeh but Frankie I'm your boyfriend and it's just a kiss!"
"It's just a kiss I guess." He sighed looked down at my hand holding his.
"I would never hurt you and we aren't gonna have sex." We both shuddered at that word probably for different reasons... "If you don't want to. I just want a kiss, I love you. Just a peck on the lip okay?" I smiled reassuringly. I wanted him so bad.
"Mkay." He smiled nervously.
Frank look down at my lips, I look at his they were parted. They looked so soft and cushiony.
I leant in, I was gonna show him what good kissing was I was gonna make him want me and forget about what happened to him.
I pressed my lips against his and felt him jump beneath me, I entwined my fingers in his black messy hair and pulled him in. Our lips melted together it was slow and passionate at first going on much longer than we expected it to, this wasn't just a peck... He was gonna like it, I was gonna make him feel better!
I lifted away for a fraction of a second and sighed leaning back in and forcefully smacking my lips against his, Frank squeeled and tried to break free but I was too into it to care. I wrapped my hands in his hair and lifted him up onto my knee. I kissed him fast I was becoming some sort of animal, he was like a drug I couldn't fucking stop I should've fucking stopped!!
I moaned whilst our lips were stuck together like glue, I couldn't break away it was too good. That's when Frank moaned... It set me off my primal instincts fuck I really was becoming an animal, I moaned back and echoed him. I threw him onto the bed.
"N-n-noo!" Frank shouted. I practically ripped off my shirt and began sucking on Frank red hot neck.
"Ahh" He breathed "Gerard!" He called me by my full name, that wasn't good.
Frank pushed me off of him with all of his might and slapped me hard across the face.
"Gerard what the fuck!!" He screamed starting to cry. I felt so bad. Tears fell from his round eyes down his soft red cheeks.
"Baby I'm so sorry!" I said starting to cry too. "I'm sorry!" I went to hug him but he pushed me off and went out of my room slamming the door.


*Back to present*
And that's how I lost Frank.
I miss him I'm such an ignorant prick he's right I should've taken his past into consideration, fuck fuck fuck!!!
I hate myself, Frank deserves so much more than me.
I begin crying myself to sleep.



Frank's POV
Gerard and I actually talked again today for the first time after the incident. I miss him, yeh I'm not gonna lie but that was so selfish of him.
Me? Nah I don't really deserve love anymore. Gerard deserves someone who'll let him touch them, I'm a dumb asexual who's scared shitless of love thanks to the fucking douche Bob who ruined me and made me dirty.
Teenage boys are hormone crazed in some ways I gotta think of Gerard's feelings as well but honestly I don't think I can ever love anyone again and I don't want to.
As long as I can keep as far away from Gerard and anyone else as possible I won't get hurt anymore.

Notes