Runaways
Chapter 2: Breakpoint
As soon as I answered my phone I heard my drunken mother on the phone, her words were incoherent and she kept slurring her words, thus making me unable to understand what she was even saying. My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt my stomach turn in knots, my facial expression showed stress and frustration, but mostly I knew that I had to stop what I was doing and go home to take care of my mother before she does something stupid. Honestly I didn’t want to go home, I was way too afraid because every time I would end up going home to my drunken mother she would always do something that she won’t remember the next day. I’ll be honest, I love her when she is sober, but whenever she’s drunk she turns into a new person and treats me and my step-dad like crap.
I ended the phone call without any signs or hints, nor did I say a simple “I’ll be there”, I just hung up and stuffed my things back into my purse and got up from my seat while grabbing my purse. You could already tell that I was nervous, my hands shook and my rapid breathing only made me believe that I was going to have a panic attack; that’s because I hated seeing my mother drunk and it was my worst nightmare, it honestly felt like I was coming home just to see my own death, or it felt like it actually.
My home wasn’t too far away, I lived in the suburbs of Chicago and the town lived it was quite small, well, it wasn’t that big and it was a little old too. It’ll probably take me at least 20 minutes to get home, and as time passed I made sure I walked fast enough just so my mother wouldn’t make false assumptions how I didn’t want to come home and she’d probably question me. But as I walked back to my house I grabbed a single cigarette and sealed it around my lips, lighting it up I took a drag and closed my eyes as I let the smoke stay in my lungs for a few moments, as soon as I exhaled the smoke out into the air I sped up and walked as fast as I could just to get everything over with. But my hands kept shaking, and I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, and at this moment I wasn’t sure whether I was having a panic attack or an anxiety attack, either way my mental health was way too fragile to these kinds of things.
After I dropped my cancer stick back on the ground I stepped on it a few times to make sure it’s out, then as I approached my home I walked up the stairs that lead to the porch. The doors were right in front of me and I knew the doors were probably unlocked, and as I reached my hand to grab the door knob I turned it and opened the door with an ease, and as soon as I walked in I closed the door behind me and looked around my surroundings.
It took me a while to locate where my step-dad was, he was up in his ‘office’, or rather his personal room where he does nothing but spend his time on the computer making business deals and phone calls, but he told us how we’ll be rich. Pretty sure he was mental, but I never knew what his job was and I wasn’t going to pry much into it. Although as I walked upstairs towards my room I dropped my things, although I knew something was wrong because I couldn’t find my mother anywhere, but I knew she was somewhere here; it was a little sad for me to see that my step-dad wasn’t even going to bother on taking care of my mom, sure, she was depressed and this is why she drank, but shouldn’t family help each other?
At that point I realized to what kind of hypocrite I truly am. A family suppose to take care of each other no matter what, but a part of me hated my own parents because I was tired of their bullshit, I was tired of my mothers drinking and I was tired of my step-dad treating my mother like shit.
I sighed, as I looked around I saw the door across from my own room to see where my mother would have possibly been; it was the master bedroom and I knew that my mother was their, I hope she was passed out on the bed and that I wouldn’t have to deal with her. As I approached the door I reached my hand to grasp my fingers around the door knob, then as I turned it I slowly opened the door. I was greeted by a strong smell of cigarettes and alcohol, which made me scrunch my nose but I knew after 7 years of dealing with this I had to get used to this awful smell; even though I myself drink and smoke, but this was worse. It seems like she closed all of the windows, which had prevented the smoke to get out from the room and the smell was awful, I can understand why she didn’t go outside, she probably didn’t want to be seen like this. At least she had some sense of reality.
I walked inside of her bedroom to see all of the things she owned scattered on the floor, broken bottles, ashes from the cigarettes, spilled alcohol on the floor and other clutter. I sighed and slowly began to clean those things up, all the while as my mother was lost in her own trance, smoking her cigarette and not saying a word to me, she just watched me clean her things; I felt her eyes on me but I didn’t make any contact with her just yet. I was a little frightened, I knew she was going to attack me but it seemed like the alcohol was going to put her out soon enough. Although with the amount of alcohol my mother could take in had surprised me, I was amazed that her body wasn’t made out of alcohol by now, but surely it was.
Although I hoped that she would leave me alone and decide that it’s time for her to pass out and sober up, but I doubt that she will right now. But as I kept cleaning the floor from the clutter she finally spoke to me.
“Did you buy me some alcohol?” She managed to ask me a blunt question, although for some reason I stopped what I was doing, and suddenly something inside of me had snapped. I’m not sure why was I this mad and why I managed to drop the things I was holding onto the floor. I stood up and looked at her with my angered annoyed expression. The thing is, I was tired of her.
“First of all I’m not old enough to buy alcohol, secondly, stop treating me like I’m some kind of maid for you. I’m not going to buy you any alcohol because you don’t need anymore of it, you told me you’d stop drinking and for seven years you’ve been doing the same thing; you keep breaking promises, you should have been taking care of me but I ended up taking care of my own mother. I had to raise myself on my own because my mother was too busy lying on the floor passed out drunk. You drink so much, and the next day you won’t remember this, and you don’t even want to know what happened because you will feel guilty. Both you and I know that everyone got tired of your promise breaking, everyone rejected you and left you and I was the only one by your side. Despite the horrible things you did to me and said to me I still managed to love you just as much because you’re my mother, but whenever you drink you don’t treat me like your daughter, you treat me like shit!”
I managed to say everything I ever had and wanted to say, it felt like a twig has finally snapped inside of me and I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears were streaming down my face and my mother just looked at me with a blank confused expression, I knew she heard me and what I said and maybe she didn’t know how to react to this. I was done with this, honestly I was.
Without any hesitation I walked out of the room and slammed the door behind me, soon after I heard my mother scream and cry and throw things around, my step-dad didn’t even care about her to check up on her. I was kind of disgusted by that actually.
As I walked towards my room my hands kept shaking, I was nervous and I had never stuck up for myself like that, usually I’d stay silent and let people play around with me, I was easily bullied throughout my school years because I never liked sticking up for myself because I was too weak. But who knew that I would be able to do this now, and why did I wait so long for this? I felt better, more than just better.
I looked around my room carefully, at the moment I was so angry and sad that I wasn’t thinking what I was doing, my actions came out without a single thought given to them. The only thing on my mind was to get away from here, I needed money and I knew that. As I looked under my bed I grabbed an empty make up bad and opened it up to see my years of savings. My parents would give me at least 5 dollars for lunch and I would usually save that money and spend my lunchtime not eating, and thankfully all of those years collecting money had been a good idea. I’m not sure how much money I had saved up but I knew after 7 years of saving up I had probably a lot of money.
I grabbed my money and stuffed it inside of my purse, after that I left my house without a single word or a note.
I ended the phone call without any signs or hints, nor did I say a simple “I’ll be there”, I just hung up and stuffed my things back into my purse and got up from my seat while grabbing my purse. You could already tell that I was nervous, my hands shook and my rapid breathing only made me believe that I was going to have a panic attack; that’s because I hated seeing my mother drunk and it was my worst nightmare, it honestly felt like I was coming home just to see my own death, or it felt like it actually.
My home wasn’t too far away, I lived in the suburbs of Chicago and the town lived it was quite small, well, it wasn’t that big and it was a little old too. It’ll probably take me at least 20 minutes to get home, and as time passed I made sure I walked fast enough just so my mother wouldn’t make false assumptions how I didn’t want to come home and she’d probably question me. But as I walked back to my house I grabbed a single cigarette and sealed it around my lips, lighting it up I took a drag and closed my eyes as I let the smoke stay in my lungs for a few moments, as soon as I exhaled the smoke out into the air I sped up and walked as fast as I could just to get everything over with. But my hands kept shaking, and I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, and at this moment I wasn’t sure whether I was having a panic attack or an anxiety attack, either way my mental health was way too fragile to these kinds of things.
After I dropped my cancer stick back on the ground I stepped on it a few times to make sure it’s out, then as I approached my home I walked up the stairs that lead to the porch. The doors were right in front of me and I knew the doors were probably unlocked, and as I reached my hand to grab the door knob I turned it and opened the door with an ease, and as soon as I walked in I closed the door behind me and looked around my surroundings.
It took me a while to locate where my step-dad was, he was up in his ‘office’, or rather his personal room where he does nothing but spend his time on the computer making business deals and phone calls, but he told us how we’ll be rich. Pretty sure he was mental, but I never knew what his job was and I wasn’t going to pry much into it. Although as I walked upstairs towards my room I dropped my things, although I knew something was wrong because I couldn’t find my mother anywhere, but I knew she was somewhere here; it was a little sad for me to see that my step-dad wasn’t even going to bother on taking care of my mom, sure, she was depressed and this is why she drank, but shouldn’t family help each other?
At that point I realized to what kind of hypocrite I truly am. A family suppose to take care of each other no matter what, but a part of me hated my own parents because I was tired of their bullshit, I was tired of my mothers drinking and I was tired of my step-dad treating my mother like shit.
I sighed, as I looked around I saw the door across from my own room to see where my mother would have possibly been; it was the master bedroom and I knew that my mother was their, I hope she was passed out on the bed and that I wouldn’t have to deal with her. As I approached the door I reached my hand to grasp my fingers around the door knob, then as I turned it I slowly opened the door. I was greeted by a strong smell of cigarettes and alcohol, which made me scrunch my nose but I knew after 7 years of dealing with this I had to get used to this awful smell; even though I myself drink and smoke, but this was worse. It seems like she closed all of the windows, which had prevented the smoke to get out from the room and the smell was awful, I can understand why she didn’t go outside, she probably didn’t want to be seen like this. At least she had some sense of reality.
I walked inside of her bedroom to see all of the things she owned scattered on the floor, broken bottles, ashes from the cigarettes, spilled alcohol on the floor and other clutter. I sighed and slowly began to clean those things up, all the while as my mother was lost in her own trance, smoking her cigarette and not saying a word to me, she just watched me clean her things; I felt her eyes on me but I didn’t make any contact with her just yet. I was a little frightened, I knew she was going to attack me but it seemed like the alcohol was going to put her out soon enough. Although with the amount of alcohol my mother could take in had surprised me, I was amazed that her body wasn’t made out of alcohol by now, but surely it was.
Although I hoped that she would leave me alone and decide that it’s time for her to pass out and sober up, but I doubt that she will right now. But as I kept cleaning the floor from the clutter she finally spoke to me.
“Did you buy me some alcohol?” She managed to ask me a blunt question, although for some reason I stopped what I was doing, and suddenly something inside of me had snapped. I’m not sure why was I this mad and why I managed to drop the things I was holding onto the floor. I stood up and looked at her with my angered annoyed expression. The thing is, I was tired of her.
“First of all I’m not old enough to buy alcohol, secondly, stop treating me like I’m some kind of maid for you. I’m not going to buy you any alcohol because you don’t need anymore of it, you told me you’d stop drinking and for seven years you’ve been doing the same thing; you keep breaking promises, you should have been taking care of me but I ended up taking care of my own mother. I had to raise myself on my own because my mother was too busy lying on the floor passed out drunk. You drink so much, and the next day you won’t remember this, and you don’t even want to know what happened because you will feel guilty. Both you and I know that everyone got tired of your promise breaking, everyone rejected you and left you and I was the only one by your side. Despite the horrible things you did to me and said to me I still managed to love you just as much because you’re my mother, but whenever you drink you don’t treat me like your daughter, you treat me like shit!”
I managed to say everything I ever had and wanted to say, it felt like a twig has finally snapped inside of me and I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears were streaming down my face and my mother just looked at me with a blank confused expression, I knew she heard me and what I said and maybe she didn’t know how to react to this. I was done with this, honestly I was.
Without any hesitation I walked out of the room and slammed the door behind me, soon after I heard my mother scream and cry and throw things around, my step-dad didn’t even care about her to check up on her. I was kind of disgusted by that actually.
As I walked towards my room my hands kept shaking, I was nervous and I had never stuck up for myself like that, usually I’d stay silent and let people play around with me, I was easily bullied throughout my school years because I never liked sticking up for myself because I was too weak. But who knew that I would be able to do this now, and why did I wait so long for this? I felt better, more than just better.
I looked around my room carefully, at the moment I was so angry and sad that I wasn’t thinking what I was doing, my actions came out without a single thought given to them. The only thing on my mind was to get away from here, I needed money and I knew that. As I looked under my bed I grabbed an empty make up bad and opened it up to see my years of savings. My parents would give me at least 5 dollars for lunch and I would usually save that money and spend my lunchtime not eating, and thankfully all of those years collecting money had been a good idea. I’m not sure how much money I had saved up but I knew after 7 years of saving up I had probably a lot of money.
I grabbed my money and stuffed it inside of my purse, after that I left my house without a single word or a note.
Notes
Finally Nichole left that house. Just a few more chapters and Nichole will stumble upon Gerard! *-*This is getting interesting.
THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC!!!!
1/13/15