*MILD TRIGGER WARNING*


Gerard pov.




Me and Frank have been talking for a few days now, and I have to say I really enjoy having someone to talk to. It helps...pass time. And I feel less lonely during the long hours of school, and have someone to talk to at help sessions, and that helps even more. We've gotten to know each other much better now, and I can safely say that we are friends. I'm Weird about that, i have to have a certain amount of time before I know someone and see how well we get along before I can say we're friends. Although, it's not like I've really had any friends before, but that's what I imagined I'd do if I had one. Frank's pretty cool though. He likes a lot of the things I like, music (the same bands) guitar, a little bit of art and comic books. It's nice to have someone with the same interests as you.

"I hate school." Frank mumbles.

We're sitting next to each other on the bus, on the way to school. He sits, staring out the window and me sitting next to him, awkwardly looking at the ground.

"But do you really?" I ask. "I mean, it's almost like in human nature to say that, and half of the time we don't even mean it, we just say it because we think we hate school." I explain and Frank continues to look out the window.

"No, I hate school." He says and I chuckle a little bit.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, feeling the occasional jumps of the bus rolling over a bump.

Frank sits there, still staring at the window and I really take his image in. I look intently at the way his fringe ends almost touching his nose, and how the rays of light hit his dull hazel eyes, lighting them up. And how his lip ring glistens in the sunlight, giving him this 'edgier' look. I've never really noticed these things about Frank before, and it's kind of cool how I'm just noticing them now.

"What are you thinking about?" Frank asks me, and I realize that for the past few minutes I had been staring off into space.

"Oh..uh nothing really, just school and shit." I explain, hoping to cover myself up.
"Oh, well are you ready for the test today?" He asks, a slight grin on his face which he fails at trying to hide.

"We had a test today?" I say, worried. I can feel my heartbeat speed up and I begin to hyperventilate.

His expressions softens and turns into a worried one before speaking. "Hey, no it's ok, we don't have a test today." He says soothingly, trying to calm me down.

I can feel all the air being let out of chest and my heartbeat return to normal.

"Thank god, you asshole." I say, playfully shoving him.

"Hey!" He responds, laughing and shoving me back.




******




I walk down the sidewalk that will eventually lead to my house, earbuds in and tuning out the world. With each step I take, I can feel the sadness crunching me down, pulling me in deeper to the dark place I never want to return to. The cause of me being an alcoholic. It wasn't like I had a bad day, no in fact I had a pretty goddamn decent day, but sometimes, the sadness just comes, infiltrating me and leaving me in a weak state. This causes me to go back to drinking to..kill the pain. It always seems like a good idea at the time, but when it gets out of hand is when it's bad. And that's the issue. It always gets out of hand.

I try to ignore the pain calling me to revert back to drinking, but it just keeps luring me, wanting me to come. I try to drown out the thoughts in the music, but it doesn't work. It usually works why isn't it working?

I start to get a little panicked, and run the rest of the way home, trying to get in as fast as possible and locking the door behind me. If no one is home, I'm doomed, if someone is, it'll make this a hell of a lot easier.

I look around the house for a familiar face.

"Mom!" I call.

"Mikey?"

No response. I'm alone.

Well, shit.

I run up into my room, locking the door behind me. I sit on the floor in the corner of the room and face my wall, bringing my legs up to my chest and rocking back and forth.

"No, not today, I can't do this. you can't let yourself do this." I keep mumbling softly to myself.

The only way is to get through without drinking until my mom or someone gets home. I continue to sit in the corner trying to calm myself down. I think about taking a sleeping pill, so I can sleep through the this, but I get even more worried I'll use the pills as a substitute instead of alcohol, so I just remain sitting in my room. I lay my head down on my knees and the world seems to drift away.

I'm awoken when I hear a loud sound coming from outside of my window. I get up and look outside, and it's Frank. Not now. I open my window and he looks up.

"Hey Gerard!" He says.

"Frank...how do you know where I live?" I ask. "And it's like eleven at night!" I shout down.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I just had an..incident and I needed to be around someone and my parents are on a business trip so I had to come over here. Oh, and you live right by the bus stop I can see your house from there." He tells me.

"Alright Frank, you can come up." I say sighing, though in all honesty, I'm glad he's here. I need someone to talk to that's not my family.

He grabs a ladder that was laying on the grass and puts it up to my window and starts to climb.

He goes through the window and falls on the floor.

"Wow, what happened to you?" He asks, softly.

"I-I-." I begin, but a, cut off by the tears that stream down my face.

"Gerard? What's wrong?" He asks, and walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I look up at him, tears filling my eyes still and wipe the, from my tear stained cheek.
"I don't know, I get these waves of sadness, and I just feel like I need to kill the pain with alcohol. It's like it's the only way. And..and I almost went back to it when I promised Mikey.." I trail off, and bury my head in his shoulder. I dont care if it's weird, that's what I needed right now, a shoulder to cry on.

He pats my back soothingly while I continue to cry into his shoulder.

"What happened to you ?" I ask, lifting up my head and looking into his eyes.

He sighs and I get off of him. I can see him reach for his sweatshirt sleeve and lift it up.
"This happened." He says, pointing to the fresh scars painted onto his skin. They're still bloody, and I can see tears welling up in his eyes.

"Frank...I'm..I'm so sorry." I say. "Would you want to stay the night maybe? I mean I think it would help both of us, after..this." I tell him.

He gives me a small smile.

"Sure Gerard, that'd be great."

"Do you want to borrow some of my clothes?" He nods and I pick out a black T-shirt and shorts for him.

We both get under the covers in my bed, and I sigh.

"I'm sorry." He says.
"Frank, you idiot." I say jokingly. "You don't have to be sorry, the reason this friendship is great is because we're both majorly fucked up. You see? It's almost like we're destined to be friends. We'll help each other out because in the end, we're both just as messed up as one another." I tell him. He gives me a small smile and scoots closer. Then we both drift off into a deep sleep.

Notes

Ok I apologize this is a very poorly written chapter, and I wanted to fix it, but I have to leave very soon for some,thing important so I couldn't have time to fix it, but I promise next chapter will be much better!


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