Gerard pov.




I wait impatiently in my last class, science. I squirm in my seat and tap my toes, fearing for the moment when the bell rings. I know, I'm totally crazy, the first kid who doesn't want school to end. I mean, of course I want it to end, I'm just not looking forward to what's after school. Therapy/Help session. I watch as the second hand on the clock ticks away, bringing me closer to hell. Mr. Stallis, the science teacher, blabs away about fossils and how they're very important for our research today. Who cares? My mind continues to stay focused on the second hand while Mr. Stallis shows us fossil diagrams. Tick, tick, tick. He continues to hold up the diagram, but is interrupted by the loud ringing bell. I grab my binders and head out the door to my locker. It's not very far, only about two hallways down from the science classroom. On the way, I pass idiots, losers and popular cliques. That about sums up all the people that go to my school. They're all talking amongst each other, planning things for the weekend that is in a few days and gossiping. I keep walking to my locker keeping my eyes focused on the floor ahead of me and not daring to look in anyone's direction, that way I don't get noticed, and if you don't get noticed you don't start something and eventually get beat up. I finally reach my locker, and put in the combination.

37-6-25

It clicks and the metal door swings open. I place my binders in and grab my backpack, filling it with books that I'll need for the homework I'm not going to do. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I make my way out of the doors and walk over to my bus. I look at the numbers on the bus, eager to find my own so I can get out of here as fast as possible.

I find my bus number and walk up the narrow, slightly curved steps. I walk down the aisle again, just as I did this morning and look for a seat. I see Frank sitting, but there's also an empty seat further back. Frank or alone? That's not a hard decision. I walk down the aisle further to the empty seat, placing my backpack next to me so no one can sit there. It's not like anyone would anyways though. I reach for my phone and grab my earbuds, sticking them in my ears and looking through my selections for songs. I have Muse, Queen, Bowie and Metallica all in my top bands. I decide to go with Bowie and begin listening to the soothing sounds of the drums making the back beat. I stare out the window at the orange and yellow leaved trees, and how beautiful it looks when the bus begins to go faster and the colors all swirl together. It's almost like a painting.

The bus halts to a stop, and I realize it's my stop. Grabbing my backpack, I run down the aisle and off the bus. It's not a very long walk to my house from the stop. The music continues to blast into my eardrums and I kick my feet on the sidewalk, making my way towards my house. I get this feeling of pride almost, when I listen to music while I'm walking down the street. I know no one else but me can hear the music, but it's almost like its playing the soundtrack to my life as I walk down the street, and it makes me feel pride in myself, like I'm superior to everyone else. I don't know, I have a weird way of thinking.

I finally reach my two story house and take out the key which I quickly turn in the keyhole and then rush inside my house. My mom will be home in half an hour, to drive me to the therapy session. I'll have to be ready by then. I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar, and then run up the stairs to my room. 30 minutes. I tell myself. 30 minutes until hell. Ever since I had that dream last night, I've been dreading going. I think I'm just really scared that something relatively close (but just more realistic) will happen there.

I walk into my room and flop onto my bed, staring up at the Nirvana poster above my bed. I glance at the clock. 15 minutes. My heart beat speeds up a little, but I just stare at the ceiling. I won't let my nerves take over. I slowly roll over, picking up a pencil and spa sketchbook, hoping that drawing will take my mind off of it. I stat to draw small circles, then they form into a face, then into an actual drawing. I dont even realize what I've drawn until I look at it closely. It's the woman from the dream. I just let my hand draw by itself, but I guess my mind was already preoccupied with the dream. I don't know if anything can get my mind off of it. I try to start drawing again, and this time I pay attention to what I'm going to draw. My hand sketches out circles and squares and all different shapes, forming it into a face. Just as I'm about to add details to the face, my mom calls me from downstairs. I grab my phone and rush downstairs, my heart pounding in my chest. I'm not ready.

"You ready?" She asks.

No.

"Yes." I say, gulping and taking a deep breath.

We head out to the car, and I get in the passenger seat. She sticks

The keys in and starts the car. I turn on the radio and lean back in the seat, taking in the music. I close my eyes, and can feel myself drift off, but before I'm fully asleep, I'm shaken.

"Gerard, we're here." My mom says, and I groggily open my eyes.

"Mm ok." I say, slurring my words.

We step out of the car and I walk into the building. I can feel my knees trembling as I take steps closer to the room. Each footstep feels like a marathon, and like I weigh thousands of pounds. The walls are covered with artwork from past and current people that attended these sessions. I stop when I see one certain drawing. It's a man sitting with his head looking down and a knife in his left hand. He is in a chair and has a demented, yet depressed look on his face. Conflicted feelings. There are scars all over his body, and he doesn't look too upset or in much pain about it. He just sits there, like everything is ok. He reminds me of myself in a way, trying to ignore the problems of life and move on. I'm brought out of my thoughts and remember that I'm supposed to be going to the session. I continue making my way down the hallway until I reach the room. I place my hand on the doorknob and slowly turn it, shivers running down my spine and my sweat going cold.

The room still had the chairs sitting in a circle and a few people are already in here. Taylor however, isn't. I wonder if she got banned because of last time? I thought these places were supposed to help you? How's she supposed to get help if she's been kicked out? I recognize a few people from last time, but I don't know their names. I must have zoned out in their "introduction". The only person I recognize and know the name of however, is Frank. He sits, staring at the ground and looking bored. I take a seat next to a brown haired girl in pigtails.

"Hello everyone." The old lady says.

Huh, I never got her name did i?

"I hope you remember be, but it's ok if you don't. For those who don't it's Ms. Brenda." She says, the same sickly sweet smile on her face, but this time unlike my dream it's less menacing.
Brenda huh? She doesn't look like a Brenda. She's wearing a beige shirt and tan pants today with the same black pointed shoes and her hair is pulled into a ponytail.

"Today you're going to be partnering up with someone and we're going to be reading ink blots." She says.

I've heard about this before. You say exactly what you see, and if it is something certain, you get entered into a mental hospital, them claiming you're a "psychopath" or some shit like that. If I see anything that could be considered "psychotic" I'll have to keep it to myself.

"I'll be choosing your partners today." She says, and thank god at least I don't have to choose them myself.

She reads off names of who's gonna be partnered with who, and I tune out, only planning to start listening again when she calls my name.

"Gerard, you're going to be partnered with Frank." She says, and me and a Frank make brief eye contact. I mean, I guess this situation could be worse.

We all stand up and walk over to our partners. Me and Frank meet up and walk to the back of the room, sitting in some of the desk and waiting for Ms. Brenda to give us our ink blot. I see her moving swiftly around the room, delivering an ink blot to every group. When she reaches our group she places it on the table in front of us. I'm shocked by what I see first on the ink blot and gasp when she sets it down. Frank, who hasn't spoken to me at all gives me a concerned look.

"You ok?" He asks, and I shake my head.

"What do you see?" He asks again.

"It's-it's just kind of a long story." I say, still freaked out by what I see in the ink blot.

"Well we've got time." He says, giving me a toothy smile.

"Ok.." I say and tell him everything about my dream.




******




"Wow." He says, when I finish explaining everything.

"Yeah, I guess it just scared me, I mean I see what I saw in my dream on the ink blot, and let's just say that was one of the freakiest dreams I've ever had." I tell him.

"That's sounds creepy as fuck." He says, shivering a little.

"Don't tell them that though, they'll send me to a mental hospital." I say, and Frank laughs a little.

"Yeah, I'm not even sure what I see really, I mean it just looks like a black abyss like staring into someone's lifeless eyes." He says, going off. "Don't tell them that either." He chuckles. I smile back at him.

"So Frank, I mean I heard your "introduction" but why are you here?" I ask, trying to start a conversation.

"Well, self harm and severe depression I guess. My parents were worried so they sent me here, nothing else really to tell. And you know I don't exactly fit in at school. What about you?" He says.

"I didn't even realize you knew I went to your school," I say, jokingly. "And I'm because I'm a severe alcoholic, and I'm only sixteen. I think that's a problem. Oh, and my parents won't let me buy a car because they're afraid I'll be drunk while driving, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only sixteen year old without a car." I tell him.

He laughs a little. "Course I knew you went to my school and trust me, you're not the only sixteen year old without a car, I don't have one either." He says, a grin on his face as he nudges my shoulder.

Me and Frank are in the middle of a great conversation when Ms. Brenda comes over.
"How's it going over here boys?" She asks, and I can feel myself start to sweat a little.

"Um..well-" I start and Frank cuts me off.

"It's going great, actually this is a very interesting project." He says, the fakes the grin I've ever seen, plastered onto his face.

"That's great!" She enthuses. "I'll be back to check on you boys in a little." She says, and then walks over to another group.

"Rule number one of these sessions," Frank tells me. "Whenever telling a lie, don't get flustered, they can smell fear." He says, and I laugh.

This is the first time I've ever actually enjoyed company with someone else in a very long time, and I have to say I think I missed it.

"Alright everyone," Ms. Brenda says, gathering everyone's attention. "The session is over for today, but I'll see you all tomorrow." She says, and we all stand up getting ready to leave.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow at school, Frank." I say and he nods.

"Yep. See you there. Maybe we can sit on the bus together? Be the loser sixteen year olds without cars." He jokes and I smile.
"Sure, see ya then." I say, and walk towards my car, that my mom is sitting in. And I can't get that stupid grin off my face the whole time.

Notes

Here's an introduction to Frank! I tried to make this chapter a little longer, and I've really been working hard to try and improve my writing so I hope you like it!

Comment, rate, subscribe it makes my day ^-^


My Twitter is @3cheers4bandoms