The mutated bird croaks off in the distance, waking me up from the 2-hour nap, which was greatly regretted afterwards when I'd realized how much time had passed. Gerard, my boss, was going to pick me up in about a half an hour. I'm fucked.

A knock sounds the room, I know exactly who it is; and this time they know I'm home so I have to answer it. I rush to the door open it up and, "Hello, Mr. Iero, good afternoon, sir. I assume you know what we're here fo-." I immediately slam the door on his face, closing it before he can protest. Debt collectors.

He began to pound the door repeatedly, almost in a rhythm. At least it sounds half-way decent. "Mr. Iero, I know you're in there. Please open up, don't be rude." The banker insists. "I'm undressed, you're the one being impolite." I lie, blaming it on him, which makes him furious, and then I laugh at his frustration. It's really quite the cycle and happens everyday he visits here. "I know you're dressed, just please," he grunts, "Let me in." "Sir, I happen to have plans tonight. In fact, it's a date. Hmmm, haven't had one of those in a while, so please leave my residence immediately before I call law enforcement." I smirk at how pissed off he's getting from my lies, improv class was a great $50 spent. "I can wait here all day, sir. I, also, wouldn't mind meeting your date." He comments. "You wouldn't dare." I hiss, my jaw dropped to the floor. "Oh, but, I would." He chuckles, pissing me off. I brush it off and continue with my calm composure, "That's sounds fabulous. Actually, you wouldn't mind attending the date, would you? Why, isn't the best way to know someone by knowing how much debt they owe? It's really quite personal and eye-opening!" I enthuse, waving my hands in the air to let him get the picture. "No, no that's fin-." "No- no, it's my treat to you. Please, join us. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, and I heard you're having marriage issues too, so perhaps a night with the guys could help you out. Give you a new perspective." I bander, bring up his recent separation just to piss him off. He's no better than I am. If he wants to play hard then I will too.

"That's none of your business, Mr. Iero." He condones. "But it is, that's where you're at fault. So how 'bout the date?" I repeat. "No, and that's my final answer." "Well, I guess theres no use in pushing you. I'll just have to accept the fact you want a divorce with your wife. Now would be a great time for you to exit the premises, I have a date to attend to and I wouldn't want you to get caught up in all our risky business. I'm quite loud for my tiny body." I chuckle, leaving him in a flustered state. The band clerk leaves and I have ten minutes to get ready.

Time flies by and soon Gerard is at my door. He attempts to ring the doorbell, but it's broken. Luckily, I know the sound it makes when it's broken, it's kind of like a dying cat per say. I politely answer the door with a chipper attitude and offer to let him in, but he refuses and says our reservation is going to be cutting it close. Gerard drives us to the destination, but tells me to stay in the car while he asks me something.

"Hey, I know this is going to sound weird, and I don't do this with any of my other employees; but to sum it up, -um- act like were on a date and I've been dating you for five months, okay?" Gerard blabbers, worried I'll say no. "Sure." "Really?" "Yeah, why not?" "Okay, thanks. Sorry my uncle runs this place, and well you know those Italian folks, yeah I've been telling them I'm in a relationship for a while now. And you're the best looking employee so far, plus it's a way to get to know you better anyways." He ends, and we get out of the car, holding hands to emphasize the idea.

---

Halfway though the 'date' I realized why Gerard decided to lie about being in a relationship. His family just seems to go on and on, asking questions like 'When is your wedding date?' What the fuck? We're not even engaged, or dating to begin with. I know my family can be a little pushy and all, but damn, they never seem to stop.

When finally Gerard's uncle leaves and tells us to enjoy the rest of our date, and I reply with a huge grin. "God, I need a smoke," Gerard drones, "Want to join me?" "Fuck yea, anything to get away from those pesky questions." I complain. He chuckles, "They're not all bad, but yea, I can see why that could get annoying for someone who's not used to it." "They're really nice people, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It's just sometimes the stress gets to me, you know?" I apologized, but he just replies with a nod, understanding.

We went through out the whole 'date' non-stop talking about our favorite things, Gerard had a lot in common with me. We had some differences, of course, but overall it was understandable and reasonable. He was a really great guy, and funny too.

I found myself at my door, waving him goodbye. I was actually looking forward to working tomorrow. But for now, my body sinks into the comfort of my futon, and I sleep like it's been years.

Notes